To be done with this forum..

@Mags1001 That philosophy won't work on an advice forum where tough love is often needed. But it can be dispensed in a respectful way.

I also get the impression that some of the nasty comments are from men. Usually aimed at a poor soul struggling in an emotionally abusive relationship, justifying the man's behaviour and blaming the OP.

Yep, its judgey and tunnel visioned or cruel..there will be some who reply to that comment that its not that simple and to be kind. Its to rile folk up. Ignore it ♥️

Private schools and those who have worked hard to make a good life for themselves seem to get panned on mumsnet.
Many seem to think that those who privately educate their children are all rich upper class snobs when in reality many make great sacrifices to get them there. FWIW I think Starmers plan to impose VAT on private education is a nasty spiteful and vindictive move to punish people for trying to do their best in life.

@Loubelle70
I don't want to keep taking over the OP's thread but I can't "thank you" on the app. ❤️❤️

I'm not a mum but also have no close circle of friends (they became mums and buggered off) or it was me??)
But as for nasty bitchy comments, its not just here, post covid its everywhere in general, there seems to be a ceryain new breed of trolls about, or just vile people in general.
What happened to "if you can't say something nice then don't say anything atall"

Thing is, we remember those comments that hurt because theyre judgey. Like you say, remember the kind ones...the unkind ones usually have issues themselves. ♥️

See this is one reply that would make me turn off my phone then I'd think about it all day.

Absolutely disgusting.

And right on cue...

@Loubelle70

Thanks. I also had lots of comments debunking or posters saying certain things had happened to them and so they knew what i was saying was possible but the nasty ones kept coming.

I don't read them. They are in a hidden folder on my phone but I can remember most.

I too have a 2 year old with suspected ASD, feel free to PM me if you ever want to chat.
It's hard.
I won't judge, I'll just listen.

I often read threads on here which are quite frankly upsetting because of the way a lot of posters jump in to mock and pour scorn on the worries and concerns of the OP

I agree. There is one at the moment where there has been an absolute pile on to a worried mum.

These threads rapidly turn into Four Yorkshiremen style threads as the posters race to the bottom with their nasty remarks.

I left for a while and came back for the alcohol support threads, which I have to say have been amazing. As a long term poster on there I’ll sometimes ask those posters for advice about my DC but I wouldn’t start my own thread for all the reasons you’ve mentioned.

I recently joined a weight loss thread too and the support has also been amazing. It’s the topic OP. People go crazy to criticise other parenting, more so when SEN is mentioned.

PS I know I sound like a fat alcoholic 😆

It astounds me that there is rarely a situation so dire that someone can't still come along and give the OP a good kicking. I really do wonder how some posters behave in real life.

I really wouldn't take anything to heart on here, I know its hard sometimes but when you look at lots of different threads it makes you realise how nonsensical much of it is.

There was a thread recently about a woman who deliberately stole money from work and everyone was really kind and supportive to her (which was great). Yet, not too long ago someone posted that their cashier at a supermarket missed scanning an item and she didnt realise until she got home and it was a really long bus journey back for her to have to go back to pay for it so should she just leave it. She got absolutely slated with people telling her she was a despicable thief, morally bankrupt, should be reported to the police, she was the sole cause of the downfall of society etc.

The difference in responses was eye opening and it makes you realise how ludicrous and contradictory this site can be at times and it shouldn't be taken too seriously.

Agree with this.
If you wouldn't say to face in real life dont say it behind a keyboard

Yes, it’s genuinely embarrassing to read some of these threads and see what I assume to be grown women pile on the OP like a bunch of school bullies.

I’ve found the parenting threads on Tattle to be the most welcoming and helpful, personally. It gets a bad rap because of the gossip pages but it can be a really nice community!

Because some people cant voice things to people who are close.. sensitive stuff. Also some are housebound, disabled and cannot get out in person ..some are lonely and have no one. Many reasons why some cannot..

What you're describing is actually typical human behaviour when times are tough. People have been forced into having less and less in life over the past decade or so in the UK and it doesn't tend to make them very giving

A lot of people not happy in themselves and use an anonymous forum to vent their rage at others. Awful. I’d hazard a guess they wouldn’t dare if we could see their identity. I think it helps to see past their nastiness and see the small, sad person typing away before going back to their unhappy lives. No one happy in themselves would spew hate , so I try to sympathise with them. It’s definitely a skill to master though! 😅

'Valeriekat · Today 07:41
AstonMartha · Yesterday 21:18

Some people are mean for the sake of being mean. Once one starts others join in.
I think they are men!'

I think you are right, there is something in the tone.

How about talking to people in the real world

I agree OP. I think the tone of MN has changed massively in the last decade. Gone are the funny threads and quick witted posters (probably too afraid to post as they'll get taken to pieces!)
I find you can't ask for advice unless you've behaved perfectly. There's no allowance for human error, flaws or not planning ahead. For example, in the current private school thread, lots of posters are being taken to pieces for not anticipating fee increases alongside CoL increases many many years earlier. Which just seems a bit mad. And multiple other examples of people being critical for not being totally perfect.

Fuck those comments. Delete those screenshots. Theres some on here who want to be cruel, or the martyr brigade. Theres some kind folk on here but like in life, theres some dickheads xxx