To be done with this forum..

what I assume to be grown women

I would not assume that any longer.

And yes, Tattle is a terrible place to read about yourself as a public figure, but I've found it to be very friendly within itself.

I don't know what your ASD post was but there is a lot of anger on here that everything is blamed on ASD/ADHD especially if it involves any kind of 'bad' behaviour. Completely ignoring the fact of course that struggling with transitions/change/sensory overload does indeed often lead to 'bad' behaviour by ND kids.

An OP could talk about all sorts of things that imply possible ASD but as soon as someone suggests it there will be others saying 'Oh I was waiting to see how long it would be before someone suggested autism'.

Often people would much prefer to tell you that it's obviously just your horrendous parenting and that no one should be 'arm chair diagnosing' ASD. Completely ignoring the fact that they're equally unqualified to decide that it isn't ASD.

There is also a lot of anger that ND kids get 'loads' of time, attention, adjustments and council money spent on them that their kids aren't getting. There was someone on here who refused to let an ND child go in front of their child in a queue because their child had already been waiting for three minutes. They were cheered on by most others some of whom came to the conclusion that the mother was obviously faking it. It's all very depressing OP but if you want to ask anything sensitive definitely avoid AIBU which has always been a bear pit and try somewhere like the children with SN board.

What I can’t stand are comments like ‘why did you marry him?’ So unhelpful!

Sometimes the OP can be just as bad on these threads though! Last month I saw a really odd AIBU. It started off light hearted and the Op claimed they werent taking it seriously, but then there were 3 or 4 posters who kept trying to get at really anyone who objected to the OP . And the OP was co-signing it by popping up to thank her attack dogs.

She seemed outraged anyone at all said she was BU, but then why post on AIBU? It was a thread about baking 🤦‍♀️as well it wasn’t that serious!

It was so bizarre watching it unfold. And I noticed when individual posters defended their stance about the OP BU, this group of posters would double down and act like a tag team taking it in turns to try and bring the person down.

I don’t even know how it ended as I stopped following it but it was viciousness for nothing.

I don’t usually remember usernames but I’ve since seen a couple of the posters on other threads and they’re just as toxic.

I find relationships, parenting, chat, AIBU fairly interchangeable. The education boards are a bit of an echo chamber. The doghouse is bloody awful, and style and beauty can be as well. Specialist topics like gardening / legal matters and so on are more helpful and I wandered onto the adoption board once and it was very polite and supportive but I am not an adopter or adoptee so wouldn’t really be welcome. The point is though the same people who post on parenting post on AIBU: they aren’t different countries or anything.

Aye,anything to do with stepchildren or in laws.

Feel for you x a long time ago I posted something regarding newborns and Mums' (my) anxiety, (have name changed after that) some of the comments were so spiteful and mean spirited, whilst reading them I felt my heart rate go up and it was like a slap in the face! Easier now I remind myself some people will just say anything, they don't know me, I don't know them and I'm not going to waste any time on some sad person's opinion if they're deliberately being mean.

OP @Hardknocks you sound lovely.i am very glad you are getting genuine replies.

I will restate however that dozens of people a day write personal, heartfelt posts on the AIBU section of the forum, then write “posting for traffic” because they know their query is more suited to Relationships, Parenting or Divorce and separation.

The resulting bunfight is precisely because that OP tossed red meat into the nest of vipers. An emotional topic, vulnerability, and an opportunity to judge and kick the OP at the same time.

this is why I implore people to realise - “this forum”, Mumsnet, is not called AIBU, there are dozens of subsections with supportive intelligent people.

'I don't read them. They are in a hidden folder on my phone but I can remember most.'
Pardon my lack of tech knowledge, but is it possible to delete them? Get rid?
I'd be inclined to delete them rather than carry them around, if that is possible?

Yes, OP clearly states this. I think that poster should change her name to "Cat the misses the bloody obvious" 😂

Exactly.
Its solely to be unkind and go against the narrative of this post and posts.
She/he hasn't been back to follow up, soooo, you know 😉

LoreleiG It’s almost as if there is a key word in a thread

Could it be when it reaches 'Trending'?
Easy to get at, they don't have to look through pages.

You ever get the impression you’re tone deaf, Cath? If not, I’ve got some news for you… :/

Yep, some real pieces of work on that thread. It is horrible.

Sometimes talking to strangers is easier. But you know that right?

You are exactly the type of poster the OP is talking about. She states in her first paragraph that she doesn't have anyone to turn to in the real world. Why would you then come along and say what you did? Are you just trying to be cruel? Did you not bother to read the OP or do you think you are being funny, smart, original? I am genuinely curious as to why a decent person could read the OP and give the reply you have. Imagine feeling at your lowest, you have nobody to talk to in real life and some twat comes along and makes you feel worse because that's what you just did to the OP.

I agree OP, I have noticed this. It’s almost as if there is a key word in a thread title which brings out some really nasty bullies. I sometimes wonder if some posts are AI as they are so wooden. Or trolls. I didn’t read your post but sorry you didn’t get the support you wanted. I think MN really varies and there are still some lovely people to be found.

The nastiness on this thread has to be seen to be believed:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5096194-my-son-is-going-to-tenerife-im-terrified?page=4&reply=136009410

@Caththegreat what the hell?

Do you have problems with reading comprehension? Firstly, when the OP says she doesn't really have anyone in real life to talk to. Secondly, just the overall tone and mood? Can you not read? Or is it understanding the tone that you struggle with?

In order words are you an idiot? Or just a nasty piece of work?

🤣 exactly. yep, fuck the judgey negatives. Akways 1. And scroll past.

You know what I came to this realisation earlier and I feel better now.

I had a local man comment on Facebook (I don't use it much but it related to me).

He was horrible and kept editing his comments and then making out it was me and saying "ohh are we a little grumpy / someone hasn't had their corn flakes" and putting laughing and head over face emojis.

From now I'll try to assume it's someone like him behind the messages 😂😂😂

Yes and ive noticed a lot of those posts just lately. Im sure in incel forums they agree to come on one after other to goad and wind women up. They out themselves

'NotbloodyGivingupYet · Today 08:06
Caththegreat · Today 07:46

How about talking to people in the real world
And right on cue...'

And on purpose. The thread was going far too well. OP was getting far too much kindness.
Waiting for the 'Yeah but, no but,'

♥️. You can always dm me if youre struggling. Have a great day xxx

Because the OP doesn't have anyone to talk to 🤷🏼