To be done with this forum..

I'm really sorry that you're feeling this way OP.

Some people are really just horrible, do they forget there's a real person behind the screen or are they just plain nasty in real life too?

If I come across a post where people are being mean to the OP I do try and post something in support just to balance things a bit.

Absolutely this!^

I’m sorry that you have had a horrible experience on here op.

One positive thing I have noticed recently is that decent posters are more prepared to call out those who are being gratuitously nasty.

I only saw your post yesterday and it seemed like good advice. Sometimes you just have to take it with a grain of salt. I've had people make nasty comments to me but I laugh them off. I hope you stay.

Intersting. Is this true? What is it with the blokes lurking on MN? I’m relatively new to this forum but was surprised there are so many men on here. Why?? Are women not allowed a little corner of the internet without men interfering? Are some getting kicks from kicking women when they are down? Or getting kicks from lurking and listening in on womens’ conversations? And is it really true there are men trying to bring MN down?

Yep I agree. On the rare occasions I've posted, I've been called a liar several times. I would never post anything anymore, just a comment here and there. Usually having a go at the nasty troll type people! And I've had my comments deleted for saying so!

Can you imagine speaking to people in real life, the way some people speak to the OPs on here?

I think they do because they haven't got the bottle to talk to people like that in real life, they do it here with impunity, because it's anonymous and they can finally feel some sense of worth in a twisted way and tell themselves they're important. It's very unpleasant.

Sorry OP.

Agree there is definitely a lot of "odd" posts who crop up on any thoughtful decent thread.

Seems a mix of:

1. Trolls with a particular agenda who pile in to derail or shout down particular topics.

1. People clearly trying to disrupt the flow of any discussion with strange comments.

1. Attention seekers and weirdos and goady people posting random one-liners and trying to goad genuine posters to pay them attention and reply to them. They just repeat shit like "why" or "explain this". Probably best skimmed over or ignored!

1. There's definitely a move to sabotage any genuine space where people can have constructive informative discussion.

Just put your mental health first and either look for better online spaces (IG or Reddit or Substack can be good) or ignore the weird comments.

The pretence that they're perfect whilst scanning every OP's every word for fault.....

I've been here years and years. I just don't understand how people are so mean. Genuinely. I'm nowhere near the MN demograph so do often wonder why I read it.

I don't have other social media so it's my only doom scrolling.

The way people can pick apart and twist things to be the posters "fault" - I just don't get it. Feels like school.

I don't know 😔.

I've been here for years and the bullying and goading of OPs has got so much worse. I've felt desperately sorry for some OPs who are just mums looking for advice or reassurance who have been tarred and feathered by the bullies. I would never start a thread now - responses often make you feel worse than you did before you posted, so what's the point?

I think I remember that 😅 Absolutely bonkers.

You know, while there’s a place for Flouncers Corner direction comments, I don’t think this one deserves it. It comes across somewhat like the posts she’s calling out.

While I do call it out, there’s a couple of posters recently that are doing it to wind people up and those ones are better ignored I think.

YANBU. It has surprised me, lately, how petty and mean some of the replies are. I keep wondering if it’s bored kids, mean teenagers- the replies are so emotionally unintelligent, like schoolyard bullies.
you’re not alone. I’m not wanting to spend time here, lately… it’s not worth it.

I’ve been here a long time and it’s definitely got worse recently. MNHQ need to start cracking down on it, maybe a 3 strikes and you’re out policy? Or stop the name changing aspect unless you ask MN for an anonymous name for starting private/sensitive posts?

I’m on a thread at the moment where a mum is worried about her teenage son going abroad for the first time and has asked for tips and reassurance. My God, the replies she’s got saying she hasn’t brought him up properly and needs to take medication for her anxiety. It’s completely 🦇 💩.

You’re absolutely right OP. I take solace from the fact that when someone makes a really unnecessary nasty comment there’s usually someone who swiftly responds with a good put down.

There may also be deliberate trolling from individuals who for whatever reason dislike women and who will object to strong minded, independent females thinking for themselves and discussing various key issues. These individuals will set out to stir up trouble, turning posters against each other and undermining them in the hope that the thread will be completely derailed.

75% of people agree with you so take strength from that!

I remember your thread. It was bonkers what people were saying!

I remember 20ish years ago joining a message board (not this one) asking for advice on how to support a relative who’d been recently diagnosed with depression
what I got was a pile on of people telling me how self absorbed I was and how I was only thinking of myself and if I really cared about the relative I’d have known they were depressed before and done something about it
that I wasn’t close to the person therefore it wasn’t my business and I was trying to make myself feel good by “helping”

it honestly shaped me about what I’ll share personally and what I won’t.
people get caught up in the drama and “telling it like it is” and forget there’s a real person on the other side of the screen.

People get brave because they are behind a screen, using an unidentifiable username in the comfort of their own home.

They probably lead incredibly sad and lonely lives. Their only excitement comes from being passive aggressive, sarcastic and condescending to others. Classic bullies.

There is a definite 'hiding behind a mob' thing about Mumsnet. But I've been kicking around here for twenty years and it's always been like that. The first few responses will be measured. Then, once there is a consensus for and against, battle lines are drawn and the arguments get more and more polarised and cartoonish. I like the voting feature because it allows you to add your opinion without getting involved in the fray. The results of an Aibu vote provide a good barometer. In an argument it is best to ignore the voices shouting across from the edges!

Maybe try Peanut, it’s not anonymous which makes a huge difference.
Very toxic crowds here in some of the forums, I hope people are not like this in real life face to face.

Blame the weather, we're all having a crap summer. My husband is being an absolute bear. I'm tiptoeing around him as are the children. He hates this weather.

Glad that's cleared up I was trying to work out if it had a double meaning and was a mean comment😂
I'm an oldie, never started a thread but try to help if I can with baby, toddler questions having brought up my brood, but sometimes you then get attacked for your kindly intended suggestions by sarcastic posters. I think if you need the help keep posting @Hardknocks and just ignore 'the mean girls' (although I suspect some of them are men!)💐

I haven’t been a member for long but yes, I’ve been surprised at the nasty responses some people write simply because they see things differently.

You can disagree, even strongly, without being a dick. A lot of what is written is to purposefully be offensive, but I personally scroll right past these posts because I think whatever point the poster is trying to make is totally undermined by their delivery. I’m not interested.

Ultimately, it’s just an online forum so I actually find the ones spending their personal time trying to be overly aggressive and nasty to strangers on the internet just rather quite sad…

The amount of nasty posters that seem to deliberately try to pick a fight is shocking.
I personally think that these people are like wee mice in reality and scared stiff to say anything to another persons face. On here however they can pretend to be this big, assertive person they will never be.
Mumsnet really need to tighten up on the ones who are nasty on a regular basis and boot them out!