to think a 7yo should be able to use knife and fork

or what is "efficient" for you is not "efficient" for them

I hold my cutlery in the ‘wrong hands’ but I think my dominant hand should be controlling the scran scoop. Only a few people have ever commented and they were people I had already labelled as arseholes anyway. Once was at a team lunch and I just said ‘well sue if you want it to not land in your lap this is the safest manner!’

Can you afford to take her for a meal at a restaurant? I did this with mine and let them look at everyone at the tables all eating properly, then I said my dd was old enough to eat in places like this with adults but she must use her cutlery. She started that day and we haven’t looked back.

exactly, there isn't a right way or a right hand, some people on this thread seem to be attempting to impose victorian deportment values

There is a more efficient way to hold a knife. People who struggle to use one may not be holding it in the most efficient way.

Focus on her using it rather than using it thw right way.
A lot of children (and adults!) avoid doing thing they are bad at.

exactly, there isn't a right way or a right hand, some people on this thread seem to be attempting to impose victorian deportment values

No idea what you think you are referring to here, but you have literally just said I have no manners because I struggle with a knife and fork, which is the height of rudeness and ignorance from you, and if you can't see that, then you are not very self aware, are you.

9 human beings out of 10 would have stop and thought, and then apologised, if they genuinely had spoken without thinking how rude they were being. Not you, clearly

Pretty normal for the 1960s I'd say. My parents did what they thought was best. Different times.

Remind yourself of your response to BlueWaxCrayon. Pot. Kettle. Black.

🤦‍♀️ Quite frankly, that's your job.

use the knife but insists on holding it the wrong way and in the wrong hand.
it's clearly the right way for her.

what have "manners" got to do with how easily you find it to use a knife and fork?

How rude- maybe need to think more about manners yourself

First thought was dyspraxia, my hand writing was fine as a child too but I use the 'wrong' hands for cutting food. I find it sad and depressing that some people find it sad and depressing tbh, why would anyone care so much about how others uses cutlery?

Do they teach them about it at school?

This isn't something that schools should have to teach, or that a child will learn by copying you or by osmosis. It's on you to get hand-on and teach them.

What on earth have qualifications got to do with having decent table manners?!! This post wins the gold medal🏅

My brother and I both hold our cutlery in the wrong hands, too. Nobody noticed until a family holiday when I was about 20; DB and I were sitting side by side at dinner (we sat opposite each other for dinner at home) and that's when my mum noticed we both did it.

I'm dyspraxic and have hypermobile EDS though, so I have garbage strength/grip/dexterity. I need the strength of my dominant hand to hold my food steady with the fork, and the knife works just fine in my left.

I honestly don't give it a single thought and if anyone else has noticed over the years, they haven't said anything.

It doesn't matter which hand she holds her knife and fork, but you need to teach her how to cut her food.

As for Mediterranean countries not using a knife and fork...sorry I don't believe you. At all. Americans don't use a knife.

I'd expect a 7yo with no developmental issues to have a fairly functional use of knife and fork if they've been a normal feature of family life. They might need help with some specific circumstances such as cutting thicker meat like a pork chop.

DS 11 finds cutlery awkward due to dyslexia and hypermobility. He's functional, but can still need occasional help.

DS 13 struggles, he also has sensory processing issues, dyspraxia and autism. A difficult combination. He's not receptive to feedback when hungry, and not receptive to feedback out of context. He's very sensitive to particular cutlery (tried a variety of easy grip), struggles to adjust his grip to a more efficient style because his hands tire and hurt easily and isn't motivated to fanny about with ettiquette when it gets in the way of inserting food into his mouth. That OT visit was the one time he went into awkward mode at an appointment with professionals.
I go into pick my battles and nudge where there's little footholes mode which is better than turning every meal into a battle zone.
It's not for want of trying and quite honestly I don't want to combine him and food anywhere other than the kitchen table because of the mess and added difficulties in balancing elsewhere.

We did do baby led weaning, but cutlery was involved from early on as was natural for the foods eaten. They've had appropriately sized cutlery through childhood. They've just got co-ordination and grip issues significantly delaying the process.

there is no right or wrong hand to hold a fork

or a knife for that matter

what "Mediterranean country" only use a fork? You are just making that up 😂
Or you are massively exaggerating your own experience.

We do use knives, thanks.

In Mediterranean countries you only use your fork for 95% of the meals. I didn’t start using knives regularly until I became an adult and moved to Northern Europe. I am masterful with a fork - can cut food, pile peas on top of it without them falling between plate and mouth, gather sauces, etc. Unless I’m at a “proper” event where everyone will be using knife and fork, I just don’t even touch the knife.

Thinking back of when we were young, perhaps the only food that warranted bringing the knives out was steak? Everything that needed cutting would be cut prior to commencing the meal. We don’t bite from eg bigger pieces of chicken, we just pre-cut it all before sitting down.

But how does she cut up her food?
I'm not sure there is a 'right hand' to hold the fork. I hold mine in my left when cutting and if using the knife to put food on my fork, but if not using a knife I hold it in my right hand.
I don't like the way my kids cut up their food - I guess I'm using an old fashioned way and I think they copied their peers. It annoys me though, but they are old enough to make their own decisions.

I can't be offended by a child using a fork at home so long as it's not eaten in a messy/disgusting way. In fact I think I probably just use a fork 70% of the time. My children's school are big on knives and forks though so I think some schools do teach it.

I remember going to a wedding with a boyfriend as a teenager. Probably my first ever adult outing. Sitting at the table and realising that my boyfriend who came from a much 'posher' family than I, had absolutely no table manners. Chewed with his mouth open, talking with food in his mouth, not a clue how to use his cutlery. I was mortified, so embarrassed I didn't know where to look.

My 7 year old is the same but its because he refuses to use it not that he doesn't know how. I don't remember actively teaching him to use a knife but he can when he feels like it. e.g. when cutting up chocolate pancakes or food he likes.

If anything his table manner are worse now being at school as they dont monitor them at school. The amount of times I have to remind him to use a knife and fork is insane each meal.