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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is unfair? Covid related

113 replies

Smokedcheesyballs · 13/06/2024 18:47

I work in a small environment and on Monday one colleague came in saying she had Covid. She did not look well and said she felt awful. A few of the staff felt that it was unethical that she was in work and potentially spreading a highly contagious virus. She did not wear a face mask.
On Tuesday I came home feeling unwell so did a test and it was positive. I have been feeling terrible and not been in work. I get the impression my boss thinks I'm slacking but I don't think I should be in.
To make matters worse I have now passed Covid onto my husband who is a very vunerable patient (has neuroendocrine cancer).
Basically am trying to ask AIBU thinking that said colleague should not have been a martyr (not sure if correct use of the word) by coming into work not to let the boss down???, and in doing so unnecessarily spreading the virus?|

OP posts:
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 18/06/2024 13:32

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 18/06/2024 13:27

This morning, having got up and got dressed - which took a while and involved a lot of sitting down - I went and found extra loo rolls to put in our bathroom. Having done this, I needed to have a sit down to catch my breath and rest before I could go downstairs.

This is the joy of long covid.

This is why l can only shower every other day. I have to rest before and rest an hour after. And then I’m exhausted all day,

Yes the joys of long Covid. Doing toilet rolls would wipe me out. Even finding them would be too much,

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 18/06/2024 13:27

This morning, having got up and got dressed - which took a while and involved a lot of sitting down - I went and found extra loo rolls to put in our bathroom. Having done this, I needed to have a sit down to catch my breath and rest before I could go downstairs.

This is the joy of long covid.

IBegYourBiggestPardon · 18/06/2024 12:04

@Tomatina no mine was definitely not mild the second time round. I could barely get out of bed the first 5 days and could just about manage them short walk from my bedroom to the bathroom.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 18/06/2024 11:10

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 17/06/2024 19:44

Disgusting or not they are following the official guidance. The only exemption to symptomatic testing is for those who are eligible for specific Covid-19 treatment. For the most part it’s treated the same as any other respiratory illness now. If you have a high temp and are too ill to work the advice is to stay home, however if you are well enough you are told you should attend work. Lots of work places have restrictions on absence that don’t allow for you to be off every-time you have a bit of a sniffle.

Except 3 million have long Covid from this policy.

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 17/06/2024 19:44

AmelieTaylor · 15/06/2024 17:54

@GlitteryUnicornSparkles

that is a disgusting policy, but especially when you work with vulnerable people. Can you report them to a higher authority!!

Disgusting or not they are following the official guidance. The only exemption to symptomatic testing is for those who are eligible for specific Covid-19 treatment. For the most part it’s treated the same as any other respiratory illness now. If you have a high temp and are too ill to work the advice is to stay home, however if you are well enough you are told you should attend work. Lots of work places have restrictions on absence that don’t allow for you to be off every-time you have a bit of a sniffle.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 17/06/2024 16:50

EasterIssland · 13/06/2024 18:54

I really doubt you got it from them. It takes more than a day to get ill. I hope your husband feels well and doesn’t have many symptoms. This is what the vaccines are for. So vulnerable people don’t get really affected.

im sorry but I’m going to say yabu. We are not in 2020 anymore

I didn’t go out for a fortnight,

Went to a concert. Tested positive the next morning.

No one in my house had it. Both times I’ve had it it’s been after little contact then a positive test result the next day after going somewhere.

Ive now had severe long covid for a year. Vaccines don’t seem to do much for that.

Motheranddaughter · 17/06/2024 16:46

Staying home with Covid is finished

Whiskeywithoutice · 17/06/2024 16:44

Covid has never really gone away or ceased to be a threat to individuals but many people are pretending it has. About a 100 people a day die in the UK with Covid on the death certificate and each of those deaths was a tragedy for a family. My son who is a medical student used to moonlight in A & E doing clerical type work admitting and discharging people, taking their symptoms etc. He wore a top quality mask at all times. It protected him and the patients. He is baffled at colleagues who contract Covid multiple times because they don't wear a mask or at least not a good quality one. He has seen young people with heart damage from Covid. He had it once a long time ago and he's more vaccinated than usual because of his job but he doesn't want another bout. I unashamedly wear a mask in crowded situations, shopping and entering and exiting the work building by lift and, if I am not masked I try to keep at least 3 feet away from people.
@Boomer55 I am so sorry for your loss. It is very unfair.

Tomatina · 17/06/2024 16:18

The really disgraceful thing here is that there are some employers bullying sick employees into work by 'disciplining' them if they take too much time off sick (what is 'too much'?) or not paying them sick pay so they have to come in to keep food on the table.

Nobody should come to work if they are ill, especially not if it is an infectious disease. The only exception would be a mild cold. Covid is not mild for many people, and is life- threatening for some.

DaizyDee · 17/06/2024 16:04

Boomer55 · 15/06/2024 16:50

My vulnerable husband was fully vaccinated, caught it last year, and died from it. 🤷‍♀️

I'm so sorry for your lose. And sorry that you're having to deal with people pretending Covid is a cold when your husband literally lost his life to this.

Starlightstarbright3 · 16/06/2024 19:52

Cityandmakeup · 16/06/2024 19:34

Anyone who defends this college is a horrible person

I was off sick for a week with Covid a few months ago… I was definitely not well enough to even drive never mind work. That said it is still held against in terms of sickness record ..

I also lost 2 days pay ..

I also was 20 cm away ( part of my job ) who afterwards informed me he had whooping cough.. that was more selfish .. it litterally could have waited .. …

there is a lot of pressure to attend work no matter how ill .. financial and from the company

BobbyBiscuits · 16/06/2024 19:49

It does seem weird to physically come in and announce you have an illness that nearly wiped out the planet a couple of years ago.
I'm guessing the boss puts pressure on people to attend regardless of illness if they have deadlines to meet.
I used to work in a building where my floor had upto 80 people, I also interacted with another 50 or so. I was constantly sick, infections everywhere, costocondritis for 8 weeks at a time, dental problems, asthma...this was before COVID. Offices are just toxic places, there's always at least one deathly sick person in, for financial reasons mainly.

Cityandmakeup · 16/06/2024 19:34

Anyone who defends this college is a horrible person

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 16/06/2024 19:34

@x2boys

It depends on the work policy and in the NHS the sickness policy can be quite draconian I doubt the receptionist wanted to be in work but probably didn't want a warning etc.

It's odd how NHS has different policies across individual trusts /areas. Friend works in 999 call centre and they still have to test with Covid symptoms and stay off work if positive . I think they have to test for negative on 5th day or something like that.

fatphalange · 16/06/2024 19:01

She didn't have to make you aware that she had Covid but in doing so, gave you the option to wear a mask of your own since your Dh is vulnerable. You didn't.
In any case you'll have caught it from someone else from the time frame you've given.

x2boys · 16/06/2024 16:40

Notreat · 16/06/2024 14:43

People who have a contagious infection shouldn't he mixing with others it's selfish and uncaring.
Not letting the boss down shouldn't mean infecting everyone else by showing how indispensable you are

It's a bit more than not letting the boss the down ,if they don't get paid or they might potentially be put on a,warning ,but let me guess you are someone who has the privilege of being able to work from home and can't grasp that not everyone can?
These threads always go the same way

CharlotteBog · 16/06/2024 15:08

DaizyDee · 16/06/2024 14:27

The pandemic isn't over. We're currently in another wave and the WHO has confirmed it's still a pandemic. The only difference is the "emergency" aspect of the pandemic, ie most people have given up trying to do anything about it.

Ah thanks for that info.
Now I think about it more, I think that's what I meant, but didn't use the right words.

Notreat · 16/06/2024 14:43

People who have a contagious infection shouldn't he mixing with others it's selfish and uncaring.
Not letting the boss down shouldn't mean infecting everyone else by showing how indispensable you are

x2boys · 16/06/2024 14:38

Mischance · 16/06/2024 14:33

I am so sorry to hear that. Flowers

I have covid right now. I think I caught it in A&E where a receptionist was swanning about coughing and sneezing during the many hours that I was there.
3 days later I became ill and tested because I was due to visit a family member who is immune-compromised. Now I know I have it I am taking steps to try and avoid others getting it. It seems only courteous and common sense. It is still a serious illness for many.

Your work colleague was wrong to come to work knowing she was infectious.

It depends on the work policy and in the NHS the sickness policy can be quite draconian I doubt the receptionist wanted to be in work but probably didn't want a warning etc.

x2boys · 16/06/2024 14:35

Willyoujustbequiet · 15/06/2024 18:55

This.

I think it's incredibly selfish to knowingly expose others to illness, whether it be covid or something else.

Many people have no option but to go into work covid or no covid thats the way it is these days.

Mischance · 16/06/2024 14:33

Boomer55 · 15/06/2024 16:50

My vulnerable husband was fully vaccinated, caught it last year, and died from it. 🤷‍♀️

I am so sorry to hear that. Flowers

I have covid right now. I think I caught it in A&E where a receptionist was swanning about coughing and sneezing during the many hours that I was there.
3 days later I became ill and tested because I was due to visit a family member who is immune-compromised. Now I know I have it I am taking steps to try and avoid others getting it. It seems only courteous and common sense. It is still a serious illness for many.

Your work colleague was wrong to come to work knowing she was infectious.

DaizyDee · 16/06/2024 14:27

CharlotteBog · 16/06/2024 08:45

The reaction to a global pandemic caused by an unknown virus was not hysteria.
Scientists worked hard to find its etiology, who were most vulnerable, how to treat those infected and to develop a vaccine.
Hindsight has of course taught us many lessons which will be taken into the next pandemic.

Now the pandemic is over and we know more about it, we can "live with the virus".
People who are vulnerable or are in contact with the vulnerable are still testing.

The pandemic isn't over. We're currently in another wave and the WHO has confirmed it's still a pandemic. The only difference is the "emergency" aspect of the pandemic, ie most people have given up trying to do anything about it.

DaizyDee · 16/06/2024 14:25

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 16/06/2024 00:53

I didn’t know that,@DaizyDee - that is shocking.

It is shocking. It's a verifiable number from the ONS, and the really shocking thing is how little media coverage it's getting

Twiglets1 · 16/06/2024 09:19

I worked in a state school until last year and the official school policy was to come into work with Covid unless you felt too ill to work in which case you called in sick like you would with flu, for example. The pupils got the same guidance.

I wouldn’t have felt too happy if a colleague I was in close contact with told me they had Covid & would worry about catching it. But they would just have been following official school policy 🤷🏼‍♀️

MartyFunkhouser · 16/06/2024 09:13

As others have said, you didn’t necessarily get it from your colleague.

My colleague had Covid last week. She chose to wfh until she tested negative but there’s absolutely no requirement at work for her to do so (nor to even test).

Most people are no longer testing.