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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry husband forgot car seat for the 10+ time

133 replies

Dodgeballllll · 13/06/2024 16:37

I’m not really the kind of person to blow things out of proportion because life has dealt my family some tough blows and I feel like I have a balanced perspective generally on life and what to get stressed about.

HOWEVER I feel soooo angry because for what must be at least the 10th time since we had our 3.5 year old my husband has gone to work with one of the car seats in his car so when I came to leave this afternoon to go somewhere I couldn’t actually go because the car seat wasn’t in the car. It was transferred into his car last night because on a weds eve we meet at our son’s activity and he takes one car seat home with him with our other child in it. It sounds complicated but I’m so mad I can’t explain this properly!

AIBU to be enraged that he’s forgotten to transfer it back to my car this morning? I don’t understand how it’s possible to forget the same thing that many times!

OP posts:
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Needanewname42 · 28/06/2024 23:16

Definitely Op I'd go for a multi stage seat. Life is stressful enough without extra worries about stuff.

Original poster
Dodgeballllll · 27/06/2024 21:46

Wow so many replies!

I don’t know why I’m admitting this because it’s pathetic of us…… but it happened again today. I went out to the car with the kids and the car seat wasn’t there because it was still in my husband’s car 🤦‍♀️

Suffice to say this evening we are ordering a car seat that will stay in his car!

OP posts:
reallytimetodeclutter · 25/06/2024 22:41

TomatoSandwiches · 13/06/2024 16:50

No matter how easy this is to fix it is annoying that he has frequently forgotten something that affects your day so much, it's almost as if he doesn't regard you at all which is a shame.

Not sure about this, as OP presumably forgot too? (Speaking with a vested interest as an absent-minded person haha)

Jojo8519 · 25/06/2024 21:59

Dodgeballllll · 13/06/2024 16:37

I’m not really the kind of person to blow things out of proportion because life has dealt my family some tough blows and I feel like I have a balanced perspective generally on life and what to get stressed about.

HOWEVER I feel soooo angry because for what must be at least the 10th time since we had our 3.5 year old my husband has gone to work with one of the car seats in his car so when I came to leave this afternoon to go somewhere I couldn’t actually go because the car seat wasn’t in the car. It was transferred into his car last night because on a weds eve we meet at our son’s activity and he takes one car seat home with him with our other child in it. It sounds complicated but I’m so mad I can’t explain this properly!

AIBU to be enraged that he’s forgotten to transfer it back to my car this morning? I don’t understand how it’s possible to forget the same thing that many times!

Erm, buy another seat so there’s enough in each car? Also, you want the car seat the next day, why is it not your responsibility to remind/ask him if he’s put it back… this sounds like a joint issue that you don’t want to have any responsibility for. Your car seat, your job to make sure it’s where you need it to be… otherwise you’re walking. Give him a break, if you can’t remember to ask him if he’s put it back when you’re the one who’s going to be inconvenienced, how can you expect him to remember?

EskSmith · 25/06/2024 19:03

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 13/06/2024 18:14

Or just share both cars and one is for the child free person and the other is for the person with the child

Show quote history

This is solution, swap cars on a Wednesday evening instead of moving the carseat

Lavender14 · 23/06/2024 20:53

I think this is an easy mistake to make as well but I'm not a morning person at the best of times. I would factor this into your joint night before planning. Make a list of what you need to do the night before to be ready for the next day and add this to it so it's got a daily reminder and is happening when noone is in a rush to get out the door. Then just divvy up the list of what needs done so you can both sit down in the evening and know it's all ready.

PeloMom · 23/06/2024 20:52

Car seat per car then. This way you have one less thing to think about

Thereader91 · 23/06/2024 20:51

We have 2 car seats in each car so we don't forget, because we would, and then it'd be a mini argument. I don't think you're wrong to be frustrated at all but getting the extra is my advice to you xx

Pineapples198 · 23/06/2024 17:39

Yes it’s frustrating. It also has a really simple solution - buy a second seat and have one in each car. My husband and I did this very quickly once he started to drop our son to nursery and I had to pick up, even though we worked in the same place our cars would be in public car parks so it was a pain. A second seat saves all the drama and means you always have a seat when you want it

Hollybobs1 · 23/06/2024 13:17

It's your responsibility as much as his. If you knew that you'd need it, you transfer it.

AliceOlive · 22/06/2024 03:06

Also, why would you attribute such to a complete stranger? Shit, that’s really dire to go around thinking everyone is intentionally missing your point based on one interaction. You spoiling?

AliceOlive · 22/06/2024 03:04

Lola2321 · 21/06/2024 21:50

You’ve completely missed my point, no doubt intentionally. The seat was in HIS car therefore why should she be responsible for moving it. I can only assume you enjoy having a man child you need to do everything for as well.

Show quote history

Why do you assume everyone is straight?

Lola2321 · 21/06/2024 21:50

AliceOlive · 21/06/2024 14:21

Surely a parent doesn’t “loan” another parent anything required for their children?

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You’ve completely missed my point, no doubt intentionally. The seat was in HIS car therefore why should she be responsible for moving it. I can only assume you enjoy having a man child you need to do everything for as well.

AliceOlive · 21/06/2024 14:21

Lola2321 · 21/06/2024 11:53

As it’s in HIS car! When you loan something to a friend is it your responsibility to go and collect it. No it’s their responsibility to return it.

Show quote history

Surely a parent doesn’t “loan” another parent anything required for their children?

Lola2321 · 21/06/2024 11:53

Winemeup · 21/06/2024 09:57

How is it his responsibility to make sure YOU have what YOU need in YOUR car?

As it’s in HIS car! When you loan something to a friend is it your responsibility to go and collect it. No it’s their responsibility to return it.

Lola2321 · 21/06/2024 11:50

With you on this OP
it’s not just about the car seat - it’s more about you having to take on yet another responsibility on top of everything else. Mums generally take on all the mental burden of everything! So here’s yet another example of dad not helping.

but it doesn’t sound like a second car seat would be helpful

Winemeup · 21/06/2024 09:57

How is it his responsibility to make sure YOU have what YOU need in YOUR car?

TigerTraveller · 21/06/2024 08:44

I had two car seats for mine. Incase I needed to take another child in the car or give one to someone temporarily e.g. friend picking up daughter from nursery. I also gave my parents a car seat to keep at theirs. Couldn't be faffing around moving one car seat between cars all the time.

Boymum2104 · 21/06/2024 08:03

Sorry OP if you need the car seat I think it's your responsibility to check you have it. 2 car seats will make it a lot easier

MyMiniMetro · 21/06/2024 08:03

.

TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 21/06/2024 08:01

Marblessolveeverything · 13/06/2024 21:48

Two cars ? Two car seats or if you were me 4. As one in each grandparents car😂

This. Everyone had their own carseats or you risk them not being fitted properly if they are being moved constantly.

MyMiniMetro · 21/06/2024 07:57

.

Debtfreegoals · 21/06/2024 06:57

Just get a second hand car seat. Edit - just seen your further post OP. Glad it’s sorted

fiestaforevertilnow · 20/06/2024 16:08

Dodgeballllll · 13/06/2024 16:46

Man I really thought I was right about this one! Thanks for the replies, second car seat it is. I shall humbly accept my fault in the matter and proceed to not give my husband an earful 😂

Yay!

Thank you and congratulations for being the first OP I have read that has accepted they were wrong, and not drip fed, argued, explained why they were right or flounced off.

👏🏻👏🏻

MummyofTw0 · 20/06/2024 15:30

You totally need two car seats. You'll have years of use out of both