To think private education probably isn't worth it?

Depends on the child, depends on the school - which is true whether state or private. At the top schools, educational standards can be high because they're selective, and you're also paying for the connections.

For us it was just something that was a nicer experience, both for the dc and us as parents. We didn't really consider it as a financial investment, but there are lots of things we pay for because it enhances our lives and makes things more pleasant - living in a nicer area, a fancier gym, premium holidays and pleasant transport. We haven't needed to sacrifice anything to send dc to their school and they'll get decent deposits and other financial backing to set them up as young adults. We still have enough money for multiple holidays a year, days out every weekend, expensive extracurriculars, throwing big chunks of money towards retirement, and we plan to get a tutor for 11+ on top of the school's prep.

State schools in our area are fairly decent so it wasn't about avoiding sink schools. And our dcs school isn't one with huge amounts of land and facilities, because it's in London. But it's worth it for us because we're happy with our dcs experience there and we're happy with how they treat us as parents.

There may be schools where this is the case, but not the majority. In our indie about a third of parents are in trade, which can provide a lucrative career, though I suspect not the kind you have in mind. Another third are in public sector (teachers, nurses, doctors). Final third are a smorgasbord of private sector jobs, though as far as I can tell they offer little more than a bot of career guidance.

I think you're paying for the connections and the potential that brings. Well worth it if it gets your offspring in a lucrative career.

@NoveltyCereal my children aren’t a fund that I invest in. I don’t decide which extracurricular activities to fund based on potential return on investment.

cost/benefit analysis is also highly subjective- how do you quantify the benefit of enjoying their education in order to then offset against cost? What is the value of a random side passion (music, sport, art) that they carry through life? What price tag to you place on mental health and the transformative value of appropriate interventions for send?

i am not paying for grades, but for the 100 other things that matter but aren’t necessarily quantifiable.

Mine had no extracurricular life at all beyond football team, annual activity holiday for the sporty, and at one moment a lunchtime computer club (80s). They don't all have extracurricular.
You are damn right it's not worth it. 2 years of feeling help from charities for doctors' families until I was old enough to pass a scholarship, and the outcome was a breakdown at 14 under abusive homework pressure. I was wrongly wishfully perceived as academic and brainy just for early reading and some inconsistent islands of ability to read about science. Instead I turned out completely unable at the later type of schoolwork, the long answer questions that try to make you find someone to self that is beyond what they have told you: a method that does not work for everyone. It left me traumatised for life out of doing any more academics ever again.
That school had consistently bad A-level results too, and a brief existence, it was a flash in the pan, that popped into existence full of wild right wing promises about braininess on the back of a couple of kids, failed its predictions, then lost numbers steadily until closure.

It's always funny how people try to impose this idea that sending a child to private is a financial 'investment' and that it's not usually one that pays off.

I have friends who send their children private and they know it won't guarantee their kids to get amazing grades but they just want their kids to have access to good extra-curricular activities at the school itself and have access to great facilities in a wonderful environment. Most people want the best for their kids (within their means) and so I understand why you would just automatically send your kids private without doing some cost benefit analysis.

Definitely not worth it in most cases.

Wraparound care is a significant factor for me. I’m a single parent and if I used the local state school wraparound I’d likely need to change job or reduce my hours or hire a nanny (in each case at a cost similar to the cost of prep school). My career would also be more likely to stagnate.

The wraparound care at the state school only runs until 5.30, doesn’t run Fridays, is oversubscribed and is just kids running around in a hall with one adult supervising. The prep school wraparound is high quality, always available at short notice and includes hot meal etc.

And the prep school generally has an understanding that most parents have demanding jobs. So there’s no 4 week staggered start to reception (as in local primary), school calendar available for full year in advance, holiday club available almost every day of the year etc. I wouldn’t expect the local primary to work round the needs of professional parents in the same way but it does mean it’s not really suitable for me.

I don’t expect my “investment” to pay off financially. I mostly just chose the school I liked the best where I thought my children would have a good school experience. I think it’s about comparing the schools available to you and then looking at the opportunity cost of paying school fees.

I really don’t think there are many schools that people pay for for the social network. People probably do use private schools in the hope that there will be fewer disruptive children or because they are selective or effectively selective due to the demographics. But certainly at prep school level it would seem very odd to spend £10k+ a year in the hope that one of the 28 children in the year might be helpful to my sons in future. And the parents are mostly doctors, lawyers, accountants etc. I suppose these connections might conceivably be helpful to me professionally but there’s much easier and cheaper ways to network.

No-one that spends £200k will say it's a waste of money, otherwise it would be too depressing. As for earning potential, it's not true at all. Privately educated people I know don't have better jobs, it's not a guarantee. But the ones that follow the traditional private school routes into employment will probably reap the benefits

This is essentially what we plan to do.

Dh and i were both privately educated in an era where if you got a scholarship or bursary and your parents skipped a holiday/ drove a slightly shitter car they could afford to send you but boy! did you know about how much it cost them! 😅
So you studied extra hard and didnt waste time on non academic subjects.like art or music because advanced maths was what was going to make you rich and successful 🤣🤣🤣

As a result we have a good(ish) income but no generational wealth coming our way. Private education just isnt a luxury we can afford. if we want our children to be financially comfortable we have to invest efficienctly

Not everyone can afford to do this

It depends why you choose private if you get the return you expect.

We're sending our DS private for secondary next year. The only school we can afford is tiny & has less facilities & study opportunities but great student wellbeing. Why? DS received a message from a friend in the public HS & a student brought a knife to school the other day. This did not shock me. Bullying is rife & not addressed. I saw a verbal attack with vile language & threats to kill another student just outside the school gates. It's not financial return, but a safe environment where my ASD DS, who quickly descends in negative mental territory if challenged, can thrive & not just survive.

Alternatively, my cousin sent her DC to fancy 'old' private schools for the financial return & thinking it'd make solid, well behaved children & adults. The teaching was not great. Both boys struggled & needed tutors. Their behaviour isn't great, either. Ironically the father was state educated & has built a very profitable company.

Totally depends on how wealthy you are. If you have to scrimp and save to get your children to private school it's possibly not worth it. If you can comfortably afford it, then it probably is.

Have you ever had children in private school?

I’ve had both.

Private primary is hands down better if just purely for the class sizes.

I mean I disagree but you are of course entitled to your opinion.

Nope not worth it. Imagine if you saved it what your child could do with that money, for instance training, setting up a business or investment. I know a few people privately educated who are on the minimum wage.

I think this is different when it comes to Eton etc, there you’re paying for the network.

Exam results wise it perhaps won't be worth it. Who knows I can't see the future what the results would be should our DC attend a state school.

They're academically very bright.

However, all the money in the world would be worth it to me to protect my ND DC from some of the things they've experienced at their state school. From kids who have no respect for school and teachers and whose parents feel the same.

I'm under no illusion that bullying doesn't happen in private schools.

But smaller class sizes, less stretched staff and a cohort of children with parents who show interest in their children's education sure make it a LOT better for their mental health.

It's hard to measure isnt it?

There's some saying about because chikdren grow up we think the purpose of childhood is to grow up. But the purpose of a child is to be a child.

So you have to think was it worth it today as well as did it lead to better grades or jobs tomorrow.

I vaguely think most people are careful with their money, so it's worth it for them. If it wasn't they wouldn't do it

Aee we really slagging off kids we’ve never even met?

This is factually incorrect. Not all of the top 7% wealthiest send their child private. There are millionaires using the state sector. This means, by definition, that there are plenty of people using private schools who do not fall in the top 7%. There are thousands on bursaries who are far from wealthy. Also, around 20% of pupils attend private school at sixth form level.

I think it depends on the school. I was privately educated and don't think I would have got the same level of education or achieved the same grades/career in the local state school. However our state primary is fantastic and has recently been re-awarded Ofsted outstanding. I don't think a better education could be achieved in a private school. The only benefit to my eyes of private school would be smaller class sizes, but that would be at the expense of some great things that I see at the state school (for one thing, diversity and partly linked to that, an amazing, fun and very interesting curriculum). We could afford private but I don't see the appeal. A lot of the benefits in terms of extra curricular things like extra languages and swimming lessons are things we pay for privately (often quite cheaply as they are offered by the school). I may change my mind at secondary and go for private, as secondary options seem more limited (I wouldn't begrudge paying tax if so!).

What a sweeping statement. You get spoilt entitled brats and really ignorant, insular people in all walks of life, evidently.

We moved to an area with good state schools instead of paying for private education. We spent the money we saved on multiple holidays each year, fun stuff every weekend and paying large amounts into pensions so we could retire early/mid 50’s.