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Original poster

DH in a bad mood because I'm home late?

214 replies

syndromeImposter · 13/06/2024 12:08

I've just started a new job, huge step up so I'm not my usual pre organised self.
Messaged DH last minute at 5 saying I was out for drinks with a client, that I'd be later than normal. Asked if he needed anything. He requested beers. Messaged hour later asking again if he needed anything, he said take away. There were no good take outs near. So picked up beers, salad, chicken and pizza from a nearby deli and headed home.
Messaged an hour and a half later saying I was on my way with beers and pizza and he lost it.
Saying if I told him earlier that's all I was bringing in, he would have driven out to get food & beers - that he didn't want to wait for deli pizza?
Have I done something wrong or is it just because I'm late?

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 13/06/2024 12:24

What were you doing in the 1.5 hours between picking the stuff up and heading home?

im prone to hanger. I hate being left waiting for food. I’d have got annoyed too. If you’d just told me you weren’t on the way I’d have got something and been fine. Is he the same?

bluewaxcrayon · 13/06/2024 12:24

If DH would doing this, he would piss me off.

Call me to tell me you are going to be late, polite.
Calling repeatedly and adding 1 hour each time? Very annoying.

Come, don't come, but stop messing around.

SchoolQuestionnaire · 13/06/2024 12:23

Surely when you weren’t back after 2.5 hours he’d have messaged to check all ok and see if you wanted anything doing after such a late finish.

Listen, the only thing you did wrong was offer to pick up things for him when you were otherwise engaged. He’s a grown man, he can fend for himself when you’re not there. Next time let him run his own errands when you’re working.

redskydarknight · 13/06/2024 12:21

To be honest I'd assume "later than normal" to mean a bit later, not 2.5 hours later. And I'd assume you were about to head home straight after he "do you want anything" message.

This is probably about bad communication. You would have been better to say "don't know how long I'll be, sort your own food out" in the first place.

ToxicChristmas · 13/06/2024 12:21

I'd rather put it in the bin and buy myself a sandwich than bring him food after that. What kind of dick loses it over a bloody pizza?

Fraaahnces · 13/06/2024 12:21

He’s being a dick. You need to tell him to pull his head in. This is the nature of your new job and you are not his staff member. He can order his own pizza in the future.

DappledThings · 13/06/2024 12:20

Were you clear you weren't heading home at the time you texted? If DH asked me if I needed anything I'd assume he was on the way back now, not 2 hours later.

Loopytiles · 13/06/2024 12:19

Yes, why were you even offering to pick things up for him?

PerfectTravelTote · 13/06/2024 12:18

You messaged at 5. Then an hour later. Then an hour and a half later. Then headed home.

Was he holding off on eating since your second text, thinking you were on your way home then? I think he might have been in a bad mood because he was hungry rather than because you were late. If your first text had said 'I'll be late home go ahead and eat without me' it might have avoided the situation.

rookiemere · 13/06/2024 12:18

He should be supportive of your new role, not acting like a big baby. Next time get him to sort out dinner if you're delayed.

Weenurse · 13/06/2024 12:13

Time to sit and talk when not hangry and sort out who is responsible for dinner what nights.
I always found having a pre cooked dinner or two in the freezer helped for nights like this.
DH likes to make soup so we freeze some of that for a quick meal.
It will take some adjustment to the new routine but you did nothing wrong.

VestPantsandSocks · 13/06/2024 12:13

Why did you keep asking him if he needed anything?

The problem is that you treated him like a child and he reacted like one.

AuntieDolly · 13/06/2024 12:10

Why isn't he getting supper ready if you're working late?

Aaron95 · 13/06/2024 12:10

If my OH came home with beer and pizza I wouldn't complain. Seems an over the top reaction but most of us have odd moments and bad days from time to time.

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