DH in a bad mood because I'm home late?

Difficult to know who us being unreasonable without knowing how you usually communicate.

Does I'll be late home usually mean I won't be home for dinner, sort yourself out?

I think your communication was poor. I wouldn't ask someone if they wanted something until I was in my way home, you asked twice. He didn't prepare anything because he thought you were on your way and rather than tell him take away wasn't an option you got an alternative.

If you'd texted to say I'll be home late and then texted to say you were on your way did he want anything presumably he would have already sorted food out and if he hadn't then that's a him problem.

Good point there

I think op could of said I'll be late sort yourself out something

He Could of thought to himself she's in a meeting ill cook something or order

Me personally I would of just cooked something if I was really that hungry I don't understand why people argue over things like this but then maybe it's him being HANGRY 😂

Yes but OP asked him if he wanted food bringing in, he obviously believed, like most on here, that she was on her way home with a takeaway! OP at no point said she wasn't near home, if she had have said that, he said he would have gone and got his own food, as it states in the OP.

If I was given the choice of cooking or takeaway, I'd have gone with the takeaway too but I wouldn't have expected my partner to be hours if she'd asked repeatedly if I wanted something.

None of this makes any sense op without detail.

Why didn't he cook the food in? Why can't he go and get snacks/order take away/beers?

There's no way any one can know who is being unreasonable based on what you've told us. At one end - as I have to make up detail - he could be house bound with no legs and a poorly asleep baby waiting for his dinner in which case Yabu to say you're bringing dinner and rock up 4 hours later. At the other this is a completely bat shit relationship whereby you rush around doing everything for him and get shouted at if it's not done right in which case Yanbu and ltb.

No one knows based on the random details given.

He WOULD have got food himself but OP made it seem like she was on her way with food.

Can you imagine if he'd cooked and then she turned up with food he asked for?

He'd be in the shit then

I kind of think this is on you I'm afraid....assuming the pizza needed cooking, oven warming etc, he wouldn't be eating until 9pm. I would be WAY too hungry and hangy by then. The problem is you (kindly) offered to get food but weren't clear when you asked that you may not be home until 8.30 and you'd get something that needed cooking. I would have assumed from messages that you'd be home soon and with food that was ready to eat so I wouldn't have made myself something and then I'd have got hangry 😆 . Messaging at 6 to ask him again was a bit odd when you still weren't on the way - would have made sense if you were then actually at the shops or deli. If you'd not offered then he could have made the meal or sorted out a takeaway himself and all would have presumably been fine? Your intentions were good though! Just an issue of miscommunication.

If you're that hungry you make something it's not really a big deal is it. Clearly he was too lazy to cook something and mad she wasn't horne to cook the tea (she said there was a meal plan and food there)

Maybe in future he should order food himself if he can't be bothered not rocket science is it

By the second time of asking if I wanted anything I’d of expected you to be at the store. First ask is is a before I leave what do you want.. second is I’m at the shops just double checking.

Also deli pizza isn’t a take away so yeah after waiting and waiting I’d be pissed too as like him I’d of just ordered my own shit and fetched a drink myself.

Poor communication on your part as I see it. Sounds like you were on your way home after the first text. I'd be pissed if dp then brought food home that needed cooking after I beloved he was bringing a takeaway home and I was hungry.

He’s an idiot for deciding not to cook dinner and at be at the mercy of your home time. You shouldn’t have offered do you need anything as without more detail that does imply you’ll be bringing the something soon enough. Why would you offer that while out with your new job? Own it, go out, let him adult like an adult, don’t bring home any peace offerings for him having been a good boy who stayed home alone for a couple of hours.

This isn't on him. OP asked him if he wanted anything bringing in, he didn't fancy cooking what was in so he said yes to a takeaway, OP then turned up hours later with stuff that needed cooking. I'd have been pissed off too

If my dh text to say “do you want anything?” I’d assume he’s on his way home so for me, I understand your dh’s frustration. He also asked to takeaway rather than something to cook so a simple message back saying options a bit pants so I’ll get a pizza we can shove in the oven. Be back about 8.30 ish would have prevented the frustration from poor communication.

Why couldn't he just make something himself, is he incapable or just bone idle?

He knew you were having a meeting, you said you'd be late. If I was that hungry I'd crack on with it.

Don't get what the big deal is tbh.

Did he assume you were on your way back when you asked if he wanted anything? I think I would

This is the classic ‘will be a bit late just having one beer’ ‘have decided to have a second beer but I’ll bring food’ (to make up for it)… then you’re rolling in at 9pm….

We used to both do it all the time and it drove the other nuts. Now it’s ’I’m having a beer’ and everyone knows that might be two beers or ten and then it’s ’on my way home, need anything?’ But the person at home knows to sort their own tea

Did he know what time you were coming home? What time do you normally eat?

It’s reasonable to assume that someone who is asking if you want anything from the shop is either at the shop or very close to it…

I wouldn’t have kicked off but I’d have been hungry and probably visibly annoyed.

This.

Then how does it go an hour late then another hour and a half? I'm more confused.

The times aren't making sense to me for a start

You picked food up and then an hour and half later said you were on your way with it?

Presumably he asked for take away because he'd delayed cooking as you were late and thought a take away, picked up NEAR YOUR HOUSE, would mean you weren't eating late.

However you eventually turned up, after all these confusing timed messages, with food that still needed to be cooked (or reheated since you'd brought it at least 1.5 hours ago)

I'd be pissed off too

My husband said he would bring home tea then arrived 2.5 hours later at just before 8 with food that needed cooking ......

Wellllll. There were so many messages, so long apart. I kinda expect a message before you arrive home. The message at 5. Fine. But then another an hour later. Then another an hour and half later. Why? I presumed you were on your way after the second message, otherwise what value was it? It doesn’t take an hour and a half to buy pizza and beer. You’d have pissed me off too. Y a b u.

I think I chalk this one up to miscommunication and settling in to a new routine.

It was a bit weird that you kept texting him, and I would have thought you’d be close to home. For his part he could have had a snack if he was hungry or made dinner without you.

All in all I would let it all go.

I am married, and I would be very pissed off too 😂

I think I'd be annoyed at this if you had made out you would be home soon and then came home so late and I'd be waiting for tea but could have done what your DH suggested and went the shop myself.

You should have given a better idea of when you would have been home and so he knew what was going on. he may not mind you going out but if he's waiting to eat with you you should have been clearer.