DH in a bad mood because I'm home late?

Two and a half hours. How far do you live from work.

If my husband asked if I wanted anything, I’d assume he was on his way home, not 2.5 hours later.
Wouldn’t shout about it, though.

As soon as I seen the caption I knew it would be about his stomach 🙄 he’s an arse you are not unreasonable.

Yes, of course it's work. Why do you think it isn't?

It wasn't a problem for her, she looked for takeout, couldn't find it, so bought pizza and chicken from a deli.

It was a problem for him. If he didn't like it he can buy something else.

Of course it is for hours and she offered so why would he think it's a problem for her?

In this case more drinks happened she was in the pub....do you live in Stepford?

Going out with a client for drinks is still work.

And he could have just said I'll bring the food as you're busy.

She was drinking after work and bringing food home

@Cornishclio I'm not sure about "Drinks don't take [2.5 hours]". Drinks taking 2.5 hours (or 0.5 hours, or 5 hours) is fine.

The problem here is that it would seem that:

1. The DH assumed from the OP's messages that she wanted him to wait for her to get home, to have tea together
2. The DH took the OP's second message to mean she was on her way home

So what's happened here seems to be down to miscommunication.

If you were two and a half hours late I would have told him to sort his own meal out much earlier. Drinks don't take that long

Yeah of course I'm not a baby. Work happens, shit happens, if this is the kind of thing that people stress over I hate to see what happens when something goes wrong

Why are you conveniently ignoring the fact that OP is the one who kept texting to ask if he wanted her to bring anything home, and was then the one who offered to bring home a takeaway for them both? He didn't ask her or expect it, she bloody offered!

If my DH text me and said he was working late but would stop by the chippy, I wouldn't start cooking dinner or ring out for a pizza, I would wait until he got home and eat the food he said he was bringing back

If he then turned up with a supermarket pizza and a salad, I'd be pissed off that I'd waited for hours for something I could easily have made for myself in the meantime.

Exactly.

A Poll would have been interesting on this thread.

I agree with this
So, given your update.

WHY were you offering takeaway/beers pick up?

It makes absolutely no sense.

I’d be pissed - you offered food and failed to deliver. This is on you.

You were several hours late, not just a little. You implied you were on your way back, but weren’t.

When I got your message I’d assume, as many others have said, that you were home soon. Despite being capable of making dinner, if I was expecting you home with food - I most definitely would not, because I would expect you to be really annoyed if you went and got dinner, told me you were bringing home dinner, and instead I decided to cook.

You were wrong, and can likely reduce the tension by just - apologising. It being hard for you to get food wasn’t his fault! Part of his complaint was that if he knew you weren’t bringing ready-to-eat food he could have got stuff. You asked - repeatedly. You were controlling this event.

It might be that if your job often requires you to stay late at short notice and not be sure when you can get home that eating together isn’t a good option - and maybe you just both cook and eat independently - no waiting for the other person. Or maybe when you are held up you know to make clear statement that you expect to be a few hours late. Your first message could be taken for being 30 min late - but you were a few hours late!

She OFFERED to get him something and was bringing food back

He'd be being called a right twat if she was here posting that he has eaten already or had picked up another takeaway when she got home with the food she had specially picked up

And he wasn't sitting on his arsenal if he was tidying up

Some of you really hate men

You’re acting like she didn’t try to bring a takeaway.

Weird how you lot think a man sat on his arse 5 minutes from food is a ‘decent person’ but that OP, who is working late in a new role with more responsibility AND brought home food is the devil incarnate.

I repeat, if he were any sort of decent person, he would said ‘syndrome, you must be tired due to working late. I’ll get us food’. He knew she was stressed from her new job but added to her stress. That is not a decent man.

And OP saying she is not as organised as usual tells her that she is probably always bringing this man food whilst he sits on his arse.

She shouldn't have offered to get a takeaway if she wasn't going to bring one home.

And nothing OP describes makes me think he's not a decent person - she's the one who kept asking if he wanted anything, then offered a takeaway, then turned up several hours later without one.

If my DH said he was bringing home a takeaway, it would be a bit bizarre of me to then go out and get one myself, lol.

She looked at the takeaway places, they weren’t good. So she bought beers, salad, chicken and pizza from a nearby deli.

I would be perfectly OK with that.

She can’t magic up a takeaway.

If he were any sort of decent person, he would said ‘syndrome, you must be tired due to working late. I’ll get us food’. But he didn’t, he waited on his arse, even though he was 5 minutes from takeaway places himself.

I take it if your partner says they are coming home with takeaway and then turns up 1.5 hours later without takeaway, you would be perfectly ok with this then and wouldn't make a single remark? After all, you could have had a fish finger sandwich to tide you over.

Then why did you offer to get something you should just have said I'll sort my own dinner so don't worry about me

Being at home without your partner for a couple of hours is not getting messed around.

If you're the kind of person who if they don't eat for a couple of hours turns into a cock then it's on you to keep yourself fed to prevent your acting like a child, so yes, if I was like that I would eat something, sly in a fish finger sandwich or something, push the boat out and have 2 dinners. Put the takeaway in the fridge and fry it for breakfast whatever.

Unless the house was a fucking bomb site then getting it ready for some friends isn't a 2 person job and furthermore gives you something to do to take your mind off the horror of being alone, abandoned and starving for 2 whole hours.

He's a wet blanket

So, given your update.

WHY were you offering takeaway/beers pick up?

It makes absolutely no sense.

It's why everyone is questioning what else goes on in your relationship because it's so absurd. Why on earth would the person who needs to cab/carry/walk/and been all day at a new job be the one to sort food out over the one who can sort it from home?!? It literally makes zero sense.

Aaaah, I did ask yesterday if there was any chance this is part of a bigger issue. On the surface, him being left to do the cleaning is a legitimate irritation. I can see why that's annoying for him.

BUT... I'm still wondering if there's a lot more to this story. Does he often get annoyed if you go out for drinks or if you're home a bit late? If you HAD been at home, would the cleaning in preparation for tonight have been done by both of you or would you have done the bulk of it? Do you often feel you have to overcompensate when you do something you think he won't like which might have driven the ridiculous multiple and confusing messages from you....

Would you cook if your partner had rung saying that they were bringing in a takeaway?

He made a few comments today, that he was left to clean the house while I was out as we have friends over tonight - so suspect that's more the issue than the food!

I think it sounds like you messed him around for several hours (after announcing last minute that you'd be late home) and he's still a bit annoyed with you about it.

If my DH behaved that way and left me hanging for three hours and left me to tidy up for guests I don't think I'd be too happy with him either 🤷‍♀️