DH in a bad mood because I'm home late?

Did you read her op offering to bring home tea and asking him what he wanted? Or did you just think man = in the wrong?

Because she asked do you want me to grab anything…. Sure some beers.

an hour or whatever later want me to grab anything …. Yeah beers and take away.

he had given up on the idea of cooking for them both at that point.

when op then got in with food to cook he said if he had of known he would of fetched his own beer and take away.

Why is he not doing dinner. If it were me I would have something sorted for when you got in and got off my backside.

Sounds like a slacker.

I would think it’s the waiting, if your not sure when you will be back and it’s always difficult with work drinks I would say I’ll be back later, sort your own tea out tonight

From your message it reads like you went back home about half 8? With pizza and beers.
I imagine the pizza and beers aren’t the issue.
i imagine the issue is that you’ve messaged 3 times, an hour apart asking if he wants something. I would assume you would be back within minutes, not an hour and another message.
i would have preferred to be told ‘I don’t know what time I’ll be back probably best to sort out yourself for dinner and I’ll eat here’

Why wouldn’t a grown man order his own takeaway?? Really we don’t need to treat them like children and they don’t need to have adult tantrums. Having said that. You were much later than normal tea rime. You should have told him to order a takeaway in the first place. No one wants to cook that late and let’s face it a high quality supermarket pizza unless very good quality is pretty unappealing.

This is more likely due to lack of warning I suspect. If you are expecting your partner home around 5 and they text to say they will be a bit late and should they bring something. Then another hour later text to ask again. Then it’s another hour and a half before they say they are headed home, you up to 2.5/3 hours later than expected. If you are hungry and waiting for your partner to eat you are going to be a bit annoyed. Whereas if you had advised in advance you would be out husband could have sorted himself out. If this is a one off it is OTT though. My husband used to work all sorts of odd hours and would hardly ever turn up home when he said he would, it was extremely frustrating as I never knew when to cook dinner, when to wait for him, and often ended up eating at 10pm

Yes, this!! He was probably hungry. Doesn’t sound like you gave him a realistic expectation of when you’d be getting home.

Bollocks 😂

There was a thread on here only last week from someone who was pissed off because her DH was away with work (and out with colleagues) and not in the hotel room ringing her.

???? Really I'm sure plenty of women throw a hissy fit when men out out drinking and not coming home especially every night.....but if their husband has called saying I'm bringing home take out tea then coming home at 8.30 with stuff needing cooking is well out of order no matter what's in your trousers.

Well that's a lie!

Women are always moaning their OH is out working and not helping at home

That there sounds like a child, not a husband

He sounds like my ex-husband

It's never women throwing hissy fits because men dare to be out working/networking rather than being home.

She was having a drink with a client. But even if she wasn't, she doesn't have anything to feel guilty about.

@jannier
i hope she didn’t feel guilty

She wanted to bring him home something he didn't ring and ask her....probably feeling guilty she was out drinking

Op isn't married to a woman so your points a bit odd. He did the cleaning it's op who Decided that's why he's upset not that she kept ringing to say I'm bringing home a take out then brought stuff to cook at 8.30....he said he would have cooked if she had told him.

You should have let him nip out and get his own shit.

If you are out working why isn't he organising his beer and food himself? I don't get why you keep asking him what he needs.

That is so unreasonable. If he said he would have gone out himself why didn't he do it in the first place. Your his wife, not his mother. You need to stop running after him. Explain how your job has changed th I be and he is a grown up and can look after himself. He doesn't sound very cairing. Not husband material. Be careful that you don't end up bending to his will.

The point is very much that it never IS a woman.

OP set the bar herself though. If you offer to buy takeaway (rather than simply messaging "I'll be late; sort your own dinner") then it's not unreasonable to expect him to wait for it to arrive rather than cook himself.

If a woman had said her DH had gone out and left her to do all the cleaning for friends visiting, no one would tell her to stop mithering about having to clean for her friends and suggest she needed a kick up the arse - there would be a series of LTB.

Ick.

maybe dump him Op?

Exactly this.
Plus, WTF is he mithering the OP about being left to clean HIS house for HIS friends?
He needs a serious kick up the arse.