AIBU or is DH about my birthday?

Sorry, DH not boyfriend.

Blimey, you're celebrating your special day by spending it slaving over a hot stove and catering for a load of people instead of going out for a nice meal? You certainly know how tohave a good time 😆

Won't your family feel awkward sitting there eating while you and your DH hover around, neither sitting nor eating? I'd be mortified to go to someone's house for dinner and then watch them not eat.

Why not just do a finger buffet-type meal, rather than a full sit-down? People can sit at the table or on the sofa or anywhere else there’s space then, without needing room to eat at the table.

Those saying it would be cheaper to go out could be wrong as I would put a massive chilli in the slow cooker and have rice and a cake. Bulk out meat in chilli with lentils and you have a filling meal with minimal tidying up or cooking apart from used dishes and you could just get some disposable plates 😂

The cost of a big curry and rice, or pasta, or similar for 9 will be cheaper than two people eating out, especially if guests volunteer to bring the wine or a desert.

Squeezing round the table will be necessary for a plated hot meal like rice and curry. If you go for a buffet, it solves the seating issue but will very quickly get very expensive.

But the meal is a side issue. The big problem is your boyfriend's behaviour.

He's a twat and is behaving like a child .
I'm sure your grandparents won't actually eat much and you can just squeeze everyone in we manage at Xmas with a 6 seater table we just feed the kids first then the adults sit down to eat works for us

Depends on what you are cooking and where you are dining.

A meal for 2 is more expensive then a roast dinner, which can be made cheaply for many people.

seems an over reaction too 2 extra people for dinner? wonder what the real story is behind his behaviour..

So you're too skint to go for a meal on your birthday, and he begrudges you both your grandmothers visiting? He's pathetic and the space is an excuse. Surely someone could bring a garden chair/deck chair or footstool?

Oh my days, number 1 red flag is why are you having to organise and cook on your birthday but the biggest red flag is his reaction to your grandparents coming over! Why does he really care given you're doing all the hosting anyway, and if that's what you want for your birthday he should support and facilitate that for you. Why is he not wanting to make your birthday lovely for you! If it's the cost he should liaise with your parents and ask them to bring wine and dessert, he's not a child, he should problem solve instead of strop off!

ffs he sounds like an arsehole, for generations british families have got out the emergency chairs for extra family members to squeeze around a table at Christmas, tell him to suck it up, and leave you too it!!

Don't understand him but I'd be getting to the bottom of it!
I'd also be doing something simple like pasta and a nice dessert or a buffet. They're there for you not the food!

Seems unfair for you having to cook on your birthday especially for nine people;what's your husband doing to help?

Could you make up a buffet type meal and let everyone graze so you can spread out abit more and not have to be constantly up and down?

They are your grandparents not 2 randoms you found on a street corner. Don’t need permission and if he’s that annoyed that your Nans will be there then he should leave. And not come back.

Sounds controlling and selfish whose birthday is it anyway. Tell him to go out one less to feed. My DH did a similar thing when I invited neighbours to a BBQ to thank them for arranging a sports day for all the children in our area. I smiled and said bye then. He said I mean it I said okay. Huh he said whose going to do the food. I said me I guess as I usually do all you do is slap the meat on th BBQ. He didn't go anywhere. Lesson learned he hasn't pulled anything like that since. .

I'd borrow an extra table and chairs from a neighbour. Definitely wouldn't do the two sittings thing / eat beforehand....that's just awkward for everyone.
Husband is probably wondering how he can fix this unnecessary situation you've created

Just squeeze up together on the table like lost families do every Christmas it’s a special occasion, he sounds like an utter delight who clearly doesn’t like attention being on anyone else therefore sabotaging your birthday, does he have this form on other occasions?

What an inconsiderate cunt.

DH is being a d!ck!

He's being totally unreasonable, and I can't believe he isn't doing the cooking when it's your birthday!

Possibly because of the cost! They couldn't afford to pay for meal out for 2 but can cater for 9 people?

It depends what you make. You could make something simple like a big pasta bake with salad and bread for 9 much cheaper than eating out for two. If they’re expecting haute cuisine, it would obviously cost a lot more.

You are being unreasonable! You don't invite people for a meal then not actually eat with them

Spending time with family? Just a thought. Some people value that, you know?