School Father’s Day sale

We had our sale today I bought three bags of fudge one for me one for ds1 and one for ds2 there is no father around so we enjoyed our fudge 😀

Why not ? My grandson's school has one tomorrow. Why would OP lie ?

It's very common for them too.

Lots of schools around here do.

Mine does but we ask for donations of unwanted gifts and all the kids choose something for no cost due to being a school with high proportion of families in poverty.

well they do, I never knew it was a thing till i seen it on single parent groups im in, our school doesnt do it but doesnt mean others dont ive seen it mentioned loads

There is a sale at my child's school. It used to be donated tat, now it is bought in stuff. The children love it. It was emailed out as a "special person sale" which made me wince. A gift sale where you can buy something for a special person because it is father's day this weekend should suffice. Just because some people don't have one or the other parent in their lives doesn't mean we should wipe out every single mention. Buy or don't buy. It's a ten minute interval in the day.for each class.

My kids' primary school have a mothers day and fathers day secret shop. Everything's £1 and kids wander round and pick some tat or other, it's not that uncommon.

Top tip go to your bank and draw out £10 bag of 50ps and £20 bag of £1. Keeps us going for ages for emergency school money!

I agree you can’t and shouldn’t stop occasions such as Father’s or Mother’s Day. But there’s no requirement for it to be celebrated in school.

@SchoolQuestionnaire

Sorry, just seen your update. Yes, that's what I'm meaning. Acknowledge but don't stop.

@SchoolQuestionnaire

I do get your point but I disagree. There is a fine balance between supporting and skewing. I'd rather have the approach that we have Father's Day (or whatever) and for some this may be difficult and that's acknowledged but the celebration remains.

But I respect your view is different.

I’ll never forget how upset my school friend was when he had just lost his mum and the teacher brought out blank cards and glitter pens to do our mums Mother’s Day cards

awful

I’m very sorry for your loss. As it happens I lost my ddad just before Christmas at age 12. And yes, Christmas still happened.

My dm was bereft but did her best to ensure we had a good Christmas. It was very different that year as we had so many ‘jolly’ visits from lovely relatives bearing lots of gifts, far more than usual. Now that I’m older I know that they didn’t really know what to do but the fact that they did something to show that they were thinking of us and dm meant the world. That’s the sort of thing I’m talking about. You can’t stop the world from turning but it costs nothing to support and accommodate people who are already suffering where you can.

There's absolutely no need for schools to have anything themed around Mother's or Father's Day.
It's tactless and not inclusive. The fact that it singles out children who might already be struggling for some reason, or who don't have that parent in their lives is potentially quite cruel.
The world won't stop if schools gave this one a swerve.
My DD's school kept very neutral on things like this and I am thankful for that.

School should be a safe and nurturing environment. In this day and age I would 100% expect people to understand and accommodate the fact that many children don’t have two parents for lots of reasons.

If a child has actually suffered a bereavement, I would very much hope that anyone involved with that child would have the foresight to understand that making a big fuss about Mother’s / Father’s Day might not be the most empathetic course of action. If asked, I think most of the other pupils would understand that. We’re dealing with children who have suffered a huge loss and potentially suffered a life-changing trauma. Of course we can and should do what we can to minimise their hurt and upset.

I'm going ignore your nastiness about a small child who'd just lost her dad. Someone as nasty as you isn't worth bothering with. I'll hide the thread.

Why??

it's done at lots of schools.

people donate things & the kids can independently choose a gift.

its not insensitive. The kids who do have a 'dad' in their lives are just as important as those who don't. The kids can buy for Grandad, Uncle or even mum!

@PotOfViolas

No, I manage life experiences realistically. An uncle died on Christmas Day but Christmas still happens each year. That isn't nasty it's realistic. The world doesn't stop.

Thank you

What a nasty person you are. You'd probably revel in a child who'd just lost their dad being upset by other kids going off to buy Father's Day gifts during school time. Thank God my child's primary school wasn't as nasty as you are

@SchoolQuestionnaire

I get that, but it is unrealistic to expect external forces to adapt for each individual experience. We all have bereavement, illness, changing family dynamics. You handle it and support people (including small children) where you can and prepare them but I don't expect the outside external world to adapt because of my personal circumstances.

@EmberAsh I know schools have to raise funds, but, as you say, some children will not have a father in their life. He's either simply absent, or contact is difficult for whatever reason.
So I also agree with @Beamur that it is so tactless of schools to be doing this.

I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you missed that op was talking about a small child.

Yes as adults we have to process difficult situations and understand that the world doesn’t stop turning because we have lost a loved one. I would hope that most adults would have the grace and empathy to understand that a small child deserves a bit more support and doesn’t need to be unnecessarily reminded of their loss.

Our school does a FD and MD sale and I was discussing it with a friend with kids at a different school who also has a sale only this morning.

When my DS1 was in primary one of his classmates lost his mother to cancer about a month before Mothers Day. Then the school hosted a 'Mothers Morning Tea' with all the little kids handing round plates of cake. That poor child was present and was beside himself. I recall one of the teachers just cuddling and kissing him while he cried. I've often wondered how the school did not think to suggest he was kept off that day or else managed it differently- but it may well have been they did suggest it and it was not possible for the dad to have kept him at home for whatever reason. But it was awful.