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Original poster

Would you let your child do this or am I over the top?

691 replies

KrustyBurger · 13/06/2024 05:55

Currently on holiday in the USA. We are staying at a Marriott so not a motel type set up.

Husband asked our daughter who is 12 to run some rubbish down to the bin next to the lift, she would have to go past about 12 room doors (6 each side).

I said no, il do it as you never know who’s in the rooms and it only takes 5 seconds for someone to open the door and yank her in and you wouldn’t even know which room it is or where she is.

Husband said ok but gave me a strange glance.

Was I being over the top? Or would other parents do the same. It’s nearly 10pm at night here.

Husband's a bit of a clean freak and our bin is full hence not just leaving it.

OP posts:
Original poster
KrustyBurger · 16/06/2024 02:29

OhMaria2 · 15/06/2024 12:13

It went from OK hotel for me to creepy hotel too. In real time. Which was my lesson not to let young girls wander the halls of any hotel anywhere. I'm with OP on this
The reason I saw it was a creepy shit hole on a dump city was from hindsight and experience not some inability to get my story straight.

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What hotel was it in Bristol city centre?

OP posts:
BubbaHoTep · 16/06/2024 01:13

I've lived in the US for a quarter century. While movies and the media make things look way scarier than reality, I would always err on the side of caution. My daughter's 22 and I get scared for her even now. It's not the US per say. I think the world is (and has always been) scary. I spent 15 months back in the UK recently, and to be honest, I didn't particularly feel that it was noticeably safer. After all this time living in various places around the US, I've never heard of kids walking around with knives or throwing stones at buses and cars. In fact, people where I live are more apt to say, "Hello," than they are in the UK.

Funkyslippers · 15/06/2024 20:51

Sunmoonstars9 · 15/06/2024 20:01

Never take your eyes of your children.

That is both unrealistic and unnecessary

Sunmoonstars9 · 15/06/2024 20:03

Glitterblue · 15/06/2024 20:01

This!

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At least until 14

Glitterblue · 15/06/2024 20:01

IDontFeelItAnymore · 13/06/2024 06:04

Whaaaat? You don't let your 12 year old walk along a hallway in a hotel alone?

Sorry but that's one of the most over the top things I've ever heard.

The likelihood of a murderer sitting looking through their wee keyhole at the very time a lone 12 year old walks past, opening the door, grabbing her silently, and getting her into their room never to be seen again is...I'm sure close to zero?!

This!

Sunmoonstars9 · 15/06/2024 20:01

Never take your eyes of your children.

Sunmoonstars9 · 15/06/2024 20:00

Seenandheard · 14/06/2024 22:11

I feel like this as well. I despair. We are doing our kids NO favour by being so excessively hyper alert.
I genuinely would have let my 6 year old do the bin thing. This specific bin thing, not any variation of - eg where they go further or through a door. This particular example would have taken the child 20 seconds in a hotel corridor. It astounds me where some parent's minds go. It must be EXHAUSTING living like that.

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Try saying this to parents of abducted children

Sunmoonstars9 · 15/06/2024 19:54

Blarneytalk · 14/06/2024 07:19

She can obviously go to the toilet, she still on her reins and they go as far as the toilet. Otherwise obviously not!

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No, they will be accompanied

Funkyslippers · 15/06/2024 19:47

RunAwayTurnAwayRunAwayTurnAway · 15/06/2024 11:31

Not what I said. See where I referred to his standards to maintain, cross reference with the OP’s comments that he has high standards and infer that I am saying his unnecessarily standards and pressure need to be kept to himself and not piled on his daughter.

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You said he had a lazy arse & he should go. It was a standalone comment. Why, I'm not sure

OhMaria2 · 15/06/2024 12:13

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 15/06/2024 09:51

Your first post made the situation seem completely different to where it is now. I gave advice based on how your first post made things seem.

But it's gone from a hotel in Bristol with some people milling around to a grim place where creepy man's mates had all come and congregated.

Which is a different situation to both how it came across initially and, more relevantly, WHERE the OP is. Which is a nicer hotel and didn't involve her DD going near any lobby where a creepy man could bring all his friends. It was a two minute walk max down the corridor and back which OP could have observed from the open door of their room if she wished

Show quote history

It went from OK hotel for me to creepy hotel too. In real time. Which was my lesson not to let young girls wander the halls of any hotel anywhere. I'm with OP on this
The reason I saw it was a creepy shit hole on a dump city was from hindsight and experience not some inability to get my story straight.

RunAwayTurnAwayRunAwayTurnAway · 15/06/2024 11:31

Funkyslippers · 15/06/2024 09:46

You really think that kids shouldn't help out with chores?

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Not what I said. See where I referred to his standards to maintain, cross reference with the OP’s comments that he has high standards and infer that I am saying his unnecessarily standards and pressure need to be kept to himself and not piled on his daughter.

spriots · 15/06/2024 10:45

CandiedPrincess · 15/06/2024 10:36

I'd hazard a guess that neither have 99.9% of MN users.

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I did see a gun battle once just outside my hotel... But that was in East Jerusalem.

And no I probably wouldn't have let a 12 year old out of my sight there.😂

JournalistEmily · 15/06/2024 10:43

I’d have let them do it, but stood at the door. This sort of thing is what builds confidence and resilience.

CandiedPrincess · 15/06/2024 10:36

Ginmonkeyagain · 15/06/2024 10:16

Ha ha, this thread is wild. I have stayed in hotels in many cities and towns across the world. Not once have I seen a gun battle or an abduction. Our parents often used to book two rooms - one for them and one for us, tbat often involved walking down a corridor or even the next floor to see them. It was fine.

Clearly dodgy stuff has always gone on in hotel rooms - I remember waiting in the reception of a VERY naice Park Lane hotel for friends and there was a stream of young ladies coming in, who were, shall we say, offering a certain type of room service.

Edited

I'd hazard a guess that neither have 99.9% of MN users.

MrsLighthouse · 15/06/2024 10:33

In a different country at 10pm at night is NOT the time to test 12 year olds independence. I’m a bit astonished your DH even decided she should go instead of him …100% on your side.

Ginmonkeyagain · 15/06/2024 10:16

Ha ha, this thread is wild. I have stayed in hotels in many cities and towns across the world. Not once have I seen a gun battle or an abduction. Our parents often used to book two rooms - one for them and one for us, tbat often involved walking down a corridor or even the next floor to see them. It was fine.

Clearly dodgy stuff has always gone on in hotel rooms - I remember waiting in the reception of a VERY naice Park Lane hotel for friends and there was a stream of young ladies coming in, who were, shall we say, offering a certain type of room service.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 15/06/2024 09:51

OhMaria2 · 15/06/2024 08:27

"Now it's become" right. Or I've given you more information based on your inability to comprehend how a situation like this could atise.
Thought the hotel was grim by day, obviously it was a lot worse than I though when experienced at night time and given my experience.
Would you like to ask me what I was wearing or if I encouraged him?

Boy am I glad I wasn't a 12 year old putting out the bins on his landing.

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Your first post made the situation seem completely different to where it is now. I gave advice based on how your first post made things seem.

But it's gone from a hotel in Bristol with some people milling around to a grim place where creepy man's mates had all come and congregated.

Which is a different situation to both how it came across initially and, more relevantly, WHERE the OP is. Which is a nicer hotel and didn't involve her DD going near any lobby where a creepy man could bring all his friends. It was a two minute walk max down the corridor and back which OP could have observed from the open door of their room if she wished

Gabby82 · 15/06/2024 09:48

Just saying:

Funkyslippers · 15/06/2024 09:46

RunAwayTurnAwayRunAwayTurnAway · 13/06/2024 20:17

His fucking lazy arse should go. Honestly, he has these standards to maintain, but gets someone else to do it. 🤨 Lazy, hypocritical fucker.

You really think that kids shouldn't help out with chores?

frecklejuice · 15/06/2024 09:33

I’m massively paranoid about my kids but I do sit on my hands most of the time and let them do stuff while internally worrying! I wouldn’t have let my daughter put the rubbish in the bin, I would have done it myself if dh was busy.

Doesn't help that I listen to far too many true crime podcasts and my sons best friends dad is as of last year a convicted paedophile. So now I don’t trust anyone!

I don’t think I you were unreasonable op.

Funkyslippers · 15/06/2024 09:18

Carouselfish · 14/06/2024 23:45

I also read a lot of true crime and I wouldn't.
What's the point in taking the risk for the sake of it

If you eliminate every tiny risk in your life you'd never bloody do anything!

FootieMama · 15/06/2024 08:30

I am an overprotective mum but this is crazy. Doesn't she go to school by herself yet?

OhMaria2 · 15/06/2024 08:27

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 15/06/2024 01:23

I never questioned the feeling? I actually gave advice BASED on the feeling

But now it's become some filthy hovel of a hotel

Which, again, isn't the same as where the OP was at all. And that comes into risk assessing

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"Now it's become" right. Or I've given you more information based on your inability to comprehend how a situation like this could atise.
Thought the hotel was grim by day, obviously it was a lot worse than I though when experienced at night time and given my experience.
Would you like to ask me what I was wearing or if I encouraged him?

Boy am I glad I wasn't a 12 year old putting out the bins on his landing.

MotherOfUnicorns4 · 15/06/2024 08:03

Fair enough that you wanted to do it yourself, but maybe think on how you word things next time. It’s dramatic reactions like yours from my mother that gave me pure ocd.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 15/06/2024 01:23

OhMaria2 · 15/06/2024 01:19

The people that were in the room full of people were together. Not sitting at tables in twos or threes acting normal.

Oh and asking at reception in the morning, did anyone hand in a key card. Obviously they didn't. So was I right or wrong about the feeling that someone would follow me? Given that one did. I based my suspicions on flights of whimsy or the demeanour of the group of people there?

Show quote history

I never questioned the feeling? I actually gave advice BASED on the feeling

But now it's become some filthy hovel of a hotel

Which, again, isn't the same as where the OP was at all. And that comes into risk assessing