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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you let your child do this or am I over the top?

691 replies

KrustyBurger · 13/06/2024 05:55

Currently on holiday in the USA. We are staying at a Marriott so not a motel type set up.

Husband asked our daughter who is 12 to run some rubbish down to the bin next to the lift, she would have to go past about 12 room doors (6 each side).

I said no, il do it as you never know who’s in the rooms and it only takes 5 seconds for someone to open the door and yank her in and you wouldn’t even know which room it is or where she is.

Husband said ok but gave me a strange glance.

Was I being over the top? Or would other parents do the same. It’s nearly 10pm at night here.

Husband's a bit of a clean freak and our bin is full hence not just leaving it.

OP posts:
Nouvellenovel · 13/06/2024 06:12

My friend was in a hotel in Singapore checking in with her dh and 7 year old dd.
Dd was skipping around the lobby when a man tried to pull her into the lift.
No I wouldn't let your dc go to the bin either.

Procrastinates · 13/06/2024 06:11

KrustyBurger · 13/06/2024 06:08

She does all those things you say at home, with friends. Not in a foreign country.

I find that really hard to believe? Why would you be ok with her doing all that even if she was with a friend but not walking down a corridor?

The fact it's a foreign country is irrelevant it's a corridor in a hotel.

KrustyBurger · 13/06/2024 06:10

UnpackingBooksFromBoxes · 13/06/2024 06:08

What have you said to him? Hold fire on DD taking the bin down the hall I’m just referring to MN.

Obviously not. Iv already put the stuff in the bin and now everyone’s chilling in bed.

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 13/06/2024 06:09

I think you've watched too many police dramas.

As others have said, if you won't allow her to do that, what is she allowed to do?

Walk to the corner shop for a pint of milk? She might get dragged into a car.
Go to her friend's house for tea? Their dad might be a poisoning psychopath.

The world has risk but you can only avoid it by missing out on life. Is that what you want for her?

KrustyBurger · 13/06/2024 06:08

Procrastinates · 13/06/2024 06:07

Yes you're being incredibly over the top. It's a bin down a corridor 12 doors away, most 12 year olds use public transport, go to town, the corner shop or the park independently. I don't know anyone who would catastrophise the situation you've described. Doesn't she have any independence, she's 12 not 2.

She does all those things you say at home, with friends. Not in a foreign country.

OP posts:
UnpackingBooksFromBoxes · 13/06/2024 06:08

What have you said to him? Hold fire on DD taking the bin down the hall I’m just referring to MN.

Procrastinates · 13/06/2024 06:07

Yes you're being incredibly over the top. It's a bin down a corridor 12 doors away, most 12 year olds use public transport, go to town, the corner shop or the park independently. I don't know anyone who would catastrophise the situation you've described. Doesn't she have any independence, she's 12 not 2.

IDontFeelItAnymore · 13/06/2024 06:04

Whaaaat? You don't let your 12 year old walk along a hallway in a hotel alone?

Sorry but that's one of the most over the top things I've ever heard.

The likelihood of a murderer sitting looking through their wee keyhole at the very time a lone 12 year old walks past, opening the door, grabbing her silently, and getting her into their room never to be seen again is...I'm sure close to zero?!

GardenersWord · 13/06/2024 06:04

Tell dh to do it himself! He’s the clean freak.

I wouldn’t ask my son/daughter to do that, not for your reasons though, it’s just not a chore I’d ask them to do.

ChaChaChaChanges · 13/06/2024 06:03

I’d have let mine go. I really can’t see the issue at all from a safety standpoint. Even if there were someone lurking in a room with bad intent how would they k is that it was a twelve year old rather than a grown man coming? And you’d surely hear any scuffle. And you could stand at the door and watch her go if you really wanted to.

I think 12 is a good age to be given these little bits of responsibility.

But, equally, if DP wanted to put the rubbish out, then I’d expect him to take it.

OperationPushkin · 13/06/2024 06:02

I wouldn’t think twice about it. You’re in a hotel, she should be perfectly safe.

S0livagant · 13/06/2024 06:02

KrustyBurger · 13/06/2024 05:59

I’d rather I was grabbed then my daughter though

Would you not allow your daughter to do it at 16? If it's unsafe for a 12 year old then it's unsafe for most lone women I'd say. Is it a very rough area?

UnpackingBooksFromBoxes · 13/06/2024 06:00

Use the bin in the room and put it outside the door.

cryinglaughing · 13/06/2024 06:00

I would have let mine go.

KrustyBurger · 13/06/2024 05:59

S0livagant · 13/06/2024 05:58

I'd have the same reaction as your husband. They could grab you if you did it.

I’d rather I was grabbed then my daughter though

OP posts:
S0livagant · 13/06/2024 05:58

I'd have the same reaction as your husband. They could grab you if you did it.