Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you let your child do this or am I over the top?

691 replies

KrustyBurger · 13/06/2024 05:55

Currently on holiday in the USA. We are staying at a Marriott so not a motel type set up.

Husband asked our daughter who is 12 to run some rubbish down to the bin next to the lift, she would have to go past about 12 room doors (6 each side).

I said no, il do it as you never know who’s in the rooms and it only takes 5 seconds for someone to open the door and yank her in and you wouldn’t even know which room it is or where she is.

Husband said ok but gave me a strange glance.

Was I being over the top? Or would other parents do the same. It’s nearly 10pm at night here.

Husband's a bit of a clean freak and our bin is full hence not just leaving it.

OP posts:
parentfodder · 13/06/2024 06:44

@BarcardiWithGadaffia the difference being my dc have to learn to cross roads and I would teach them to be aa safe as possible at age appropriate times.

Her dd didn't have to walk down that corridor on that day and isn't gaining anything from doing so.

midgetastic · 13/06/2024 06:44

OTT

More chance of your plane crashing

DreamTheMoors · 13/06/2024 06:40

I live in the USA.
I watch all of the crime shows, and in all my livelong days, I have never heard of any child getting snatched from a hotel corridor.
Ever.
Besides - it’d be on the front page of every major newspaper and on every major news outlet in the nation.
It’d be a gigantic story, like Kristin Smart or even Gabby Petito. We’d know her name.
Plus - it’s a very poor idea to snatch a child from a hallway in a classy hotel if you can’t make a clean getaway. Where would this perv go if he’s trapped in his room? The police know right where he is - there’s no escaping if he only has the stairs and the elevator. The windows don’t open (insurance, dontcha know).
I think you might be worrying unnecessarily, but you’re a good mum to be so vigilant.

saraclara · 13/06/2024 06:39

This is bonkers, and I'm amazed that there are people agreeing with you.

Why do you think she's more likely to get pulled into a hotel room in a foreign country then she is at home? Why on earth do you think someone might be standing lurking by their hotel room door waiting for someone to walk by and drag them in? And magically knowing whether it's male or female, young or old? How many people would actually want to do that anyway?

In my experience, hotel corridors are freakily empty, so goodness knows how long they'd have to wait with their ear to the door, ready to pounce.

I simply can't get my head around such paranoia. People's risk assessment abilities are clearly shockingly illogical.

AlbertVille · 13/06/2024 06:39

KrustyBurger · 13/06/2024 05:55

Currently on holiday in the USA. We are staying at a Marriott so not a motel type set up.

Husband asked our daughter who is 12 to run some rubbish down to the bin next to the lift, she would have to go past about 12 room doors (6 each side).

I said no, il do it as you never know who’s in the rooms and it only takes 5 seconds for someone to open the door and yank her in and you wouldn’t even know which room it is or where she is.

Husband said ok but gave me a strange glance.

Was I being over the top? Or would other parents do the same. It’s nearly 10pm at night here.

Husband's a bit of a clean freak and our bin is full hence not just leaving it.

You would though, because they will have cctv in the corridors.

If someone was determined they could have her in the room and you outside if they wanted to.

fieldsofbutterflies · 13/06/2024 06:37

I think you're being way, way too OTT.

Icanwalkintheroom · 13/06/2024 06:35

I would have zero issue with my 11 yo doing this. I think you are being way ott.

Original poster
KrustyBurger · 13/06/2024 06:35

BardsAreAssholes · 13/06/2024 06:33

You need to back away from the tv dramas.

”I’m in a foreign country” - do you mean to be xenophobic? Or is it just the United States you think is riddled with criminals?

Could DD leave a hotel room in France? Ireland? How about the Isle Of Man?

It’s true life crime, not dramas.

I think most countries have a fair amount of criminals.

OP posts:
Original poster
KrustyBurger · 13/06/2024 06:33

FunIsland · 13/06/2024 06:26

another one wondering why DH doesn’t do it and also thinking you’re OTT and need to branch out on your. Viewing habits

I’m happy with my viewing habits.

DH was dealing with our youngest.

OP posts:
BardsAreAssholes · 13/06/2024 06:33

You need to back away from the tv dramas.

”I’m in a foreign country” - do you mean to be xenophobic? Or is it just the United States you think is riddled with criminals?

Could DD leave a hotel room in France? Ireland? How about the Isle Of Man?

Original poster
KrustyBurger · 13/06/2024 06:31

Theydogethystericalovertheslightestthing · 13/06/2024 06:30

Sounds like one of those sketches from the Catherine Tate show, where the middle-class mummy and her 2 kids end up in situations where they may have to do 'common' things or meet other people, and are petrified and hysterical...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=g-BVgPeZR-Y

Show quote history

Never seen the show…

OP posts:
Theydogethystericalovertheslightestthing · 13/06/2024 06:30

KrustyBurger · 13/06/2024 06:15

That’s my thinking to be honest. Obviously I know the chances of anything happening is very slim but what if?
Shes 12, we are in a foreign country. Better safe then sorry is how I see it.

Show quote history

Sounds like one of those sketches from the Catherine Tate show, where the middle-class mummy and her 2 kids end up in situations where they may have to do 'common' things or meet other people, and are petrified and hysterical...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=g-BVgPeZR-Y

Posh family reacts to northern nanny | The Catherine Tate Show - BBC

Subscribe and 🔔 to the BBC 👉 https://bit.ly/BBCYouTubeSubWatch the BBC first on iPlayer 👉 https://bbc.in/iPlayer-Home The Montgomery's get more than they ...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=g-BVgPeZR-Y

foghead · 13/06/2024 06:28

I agree with you op and would do the same. I'm not overprotective and my Dd has a lot of independence at 11.
I wouldn't expect her to go around by herself at all in a foreign country. That includes hotel corridors.

FunIsland · 13/06/2024 06:26

another one wondering why DH doesn’t do it and also thinking you’re OTT and need to branch out on your. Viewing habits

Maray1967 · 13/06/2024 06:23

UnpackingBooksFromBoxes · 13/06/2024 06:19

You’ve taken the bin and you’re safe in bed now so it’s all good 😊just wondering is there a reason why mr clean freak couldn’t do it or doesn’t he touch bins?

Yes, my question. My DH would just have done it if he was the one who wants it gone!

Willmafrockfit · 13/06/2024 06:20

but its the marriott!
its a nice hotel.

UnpackingBooksFromBoxes · 13/06/2024 06:19

You’ve taken the bin and you’re safe in bed now so it’s all good 😊just wondering is there a reason why mr clean freak couldn’t do it or doesn’t he touch bins?

Original poster
KrustyBurger · 13/06/2024 06:19

DontBiteTheCat · 13/06/2024 06:17

Why ask if you are just going to get snippy at people telling you that you’re being unreasonable?

Yes it’s ridiculous that you wouldn’t let your 12 year old walk down a hotel corridor to put rubbish in a bin.

I’m not being snippy, I’m just answering questions.

OP posts:
DontBiteTheCat · 13/06/2024 06:17

Why ask if you are just going to get snippy at people telling you that you’re being unreasonable?

Yes it’s ridiculous that you wouldn’t let your 12 year old walk down a hotel corridor to put rubbish in a bin.

BarcardiWithGadaffia · 13/06/2024 06:17

parentfodder · 13/06/2024 06:13

No I wouldn't either. Statistically it's unlikely anything would happen but why risk it?

If that was your logic you'd never go in a car or cross the road. How could walking short distance where you can literally see the child if you stood at the door be more of a risk than things that kill people every day

You're misunderstanding statistical risk

Procrastinates · 13/06/2024 06:15

I don’t need you to believe it. It’s what she does at home all the time

The point is if you're ok with her going into town, the park etc where at some point she will be alone even if she's gone with a friend then it seems a huge overreaction to think something terrible will happen to her going to a bin a few feet away. It's really illogical to think she would be more at risk in this scenario than any of the situations you say she does all the time at home?

Original poster
KrustyBurger · 13/06/2024 06:15

parentfodder · 13/06/2024 06:13

No I wouldn't either. Statistically it's unlikely anything would happen but why risk it?

That’s my thinking to be honest. Obviously I know the chances of anything happening is very slim but what if?
Shes 12, we are in a foreign country. Better safe then sorry is how I see it.

OP posts:
Original poster
KrustyBurger · 13/06/2024 06:14

Meadowfinch · 13/06/2024 06:09

I think you've watched too many police dramas.

As others have said, if you won't allow her to do that, what is she allowed to do?

Walk to the corner shop for a pint of milk? She might get dragged into a car.
Go to her friend's house for tea? Their dad might be a poisoning psychopath.

The world has risk but you can only avoid it by missing out on life. Is that what you want for her?

Possibly, I watch a lot of true life murder crime documentories

she has more freedom at home and does all those things.

I don’t think she’s missing out on anything by not being able to put stuff in a bin.

OP posts:
parentfodder · 13/06/2024 06:13

No I wouldn't either. Statistically it's unlikely anything would happen but why risk it?

Original poster
KrustyBurger · 13/06/2024 06:12

Procrastinates · 13/06/2024 06:11

I find that really hard to believe? Why would you be ok with her doing all that even if she was with a friend but not walking down a corridor?

The fact it's a foreign country is irrelevant it's a corridor in a hotel.

Show quote history

I don’t need you to believe it. It’s what she does at home all the time.

OP posts: