Would you let your child do this or am I over the top?

You'd never let a12 year old out of your sight? Please tell me you don't have a 12 year old.

Yeah that's a nuts level of over thinking.

I would let her do it and watch from the doorway. Or if that would not provide a clear view I’d not have let her.

Some risks are remote but really easy to guard against.

Humans are really bad at assessing risk. It’s not simply a case of considering how remote the risk is (which is where lots of people stop analysing), it’s also a case of assessing how potentially bad the consequence could be if the risk materializes, the downside to not taking the risk and any steps that might mitigate the risk. That is why, when the question of remote risks crops up on here and people say things like “you’d never cross the road or get in a car if you thought like that”, it is a really poor analogy. The downsides to never doing those things are quite considerable.

Here the risk of anything happening to OP’s DD is very remote, but if the risk did materialize the result is potentially really serious, the downside to her not doing it is negligible and in any event it’s easy to mitigate the risk - by watching from the doorway.

I am about the most anxious person in the world .

clinical anxiety off the scale - I can and I do worry about everything! (Yes medicated and yea having therapy)

but I wouldn’t have even thought of this being a risk let alone worried about it !

if you wouldn’t let your 3 year old go out of your sight why a 12 year old?

😂😂😂

You keep saying "we're in a foreign country." If this country is so unsafe that 12 year olds are routinely abducted when putting their nose out of their front door, why on earth have you brought your family there?

I didn’t say they are the same developmentally- I said it’s the same principle

It's not the same principle though is it because the age of the child makes a huge difference. This 13 year old is apparently allowed to go out unsupervised to park and shops etc which you obviously wouldn't allow a 3 year old to do. So why would they be treated the same in the situation the OP outlined?

I guess it's getting the balance between safety and allowing your child to grow up. I mean, follow your thinking through to its logical end and you would never allow your child out of the front door.

Definitely way over the top.

That was a 7 year old. The child in question here is 12. Big difference.

Lol I didn’t say they are the same developmentally- I said it’s the same principle like obvs a 3 year old could get lost/wonder off, but as per child abduction they are still young at 12.

goshhh people on this post are very angry today 🤣

I presume 12 year olds in the US do things, but you have decided you are right nothing we say will change it

I would have no issues you do

I was gonna say this. Has nobody ever asked their 12 year old to do a menial task. Why are people calling ops dh "Mr.clean"? The bin needed emptying ffs!

Op I think you are massively overreacting here. She would be more exposed to risk walking to school, park etc.
It's also risk that we have to allow young teens to have to build them up to be mature and responsible.

If you are genuinely concerned, as you appear to be, that there’s people waiting in the other rooms to abduct your daughter - why are you there?

Honestly I wonder if instead of teaching your daughter to be careful you are instead teaching her to be fearful - and are limiting her development of risk evaluation skills.

You remind me of a friend’s mother who restricted what she did - because you never know. My friend never learnt to evaluate risk - everything was scary. Except due quickly learnt mother was crazy - and so everything became fair game.

If you were that worried about your daughter, you should have walked with her. This prevents your daughter from going alone (you can be abducted together, much better) but doesn’t teach her to fear ghosts.

Crossing the road was probably far more dangerous.

Children are abducted, but they are far more likely to be harmed by their parents. Walking down the hall is not a risky activity unless you are in a very unsafe hotel. And frankly if the area is that unsafe - go on holiday somewhere else.

but if you wouldn’t let your 3 year old go out of your sight why a 12 year old? They’re still young!

Seriously? That's a genuine question? How do you expect a 12 year old to be a functioning adult if you treat them the same as a 3 year old?

Bullshit!

It's always 'a friend' isn't it? Did the man look Eastern European perchance? Where was his white van?

Bollocks.

I’d generally see it the same, I wouldn’t let any young children go out of my sight on holiday .. so why’s that any different? It takes a second for a someone to grab a child.. so I don’t think you’re unreasonable. The chances are obviously quite low in a motel with only a few others around but if you wouldn’t let your 3 year old go out of your sight why a 12 year old? They’re still young!

OTT , IMO.

@Morph22010 or you could just say it about the random stuff that comes up that doesn't really benefit the child to do. And still teach them to be a fully fledged adult

Ott. My 7 year old love to do that but I'll be watching her hotel room door. I'm with your husband here I'm afraid. It's a hotel not the streets. Limited if any risk

Very OTT, the chances of anything happening to her are practically non-existent.

Anxious or irrational people's instincts are way out of whack, and not to be relied on.

This is SUCH bollocks. Instinct- FFS. instinct leads people to grab injured people and hug them, when they have a spinal injury.

instinct causes people in buildings on fire to run to the nearest exit door and pull without checking if it’s hot.

instinct, in people who have unchecked anxiety causes them to do all sorts of irrational and damaging things!!

I'd have let my 9 year boy do it, would definitely let a 12 year old, whatever their sex