Would you let your child do this or am I over the top?

@GardenersWord in hotels in the USA, it's fun to put the rubbish in the chute & get ice out of the machine.

@KrustyBurger my parents were very careful with us, but even we were allowed to do that in the USA much younger than your DD. Plus we were obsessed getting ice out of the machine!!

This seems wildly unlikely. Hotels have CCTV everywhere in public areas, they would know exactly where he was.

Genuinely not sure why you think she's at more risk of abduction in the US than at home? Do bad people not exist when you're in familiar territory?

It's still likely to be in the region of 250 feet at most, down a straight corridor monitored by CCTV. I cannot imagine why you think an abductor would ever risk it.

Well yes, but then you would never do anything. This 12yo is allowed to go out alone at home. There is still a (vanishingly small) risk of abduction there too, arguably more so than in the hotel corridor. Again there's a (vanishingly small) chance of abduction when the DD is 18 or 30 or 50. The consequences of abduction are too horrific to contemplate, but we do have to be rational about the chances of it.

I do agree that in this case there is no real benefit to the task. The 12yo is not feeling sad they couldn't empty the bin but might feel pretty frustrated if they couldn't walk to their friend's house for example. So it's not a big deal, but it's still OTT to me.

Honestly I wonder if instead of teaching your daughter to be careful you are instead teaching her to be fearful - and are limiting her development of risk evaluation skills.

I came on to say much the same - but couldn’t put it better. And the problem with catastrophising about everything is that you run the risk that they simply dismiss everything you warn them about as paranoid old rubbish. Teens always think they know better, but there are some things you really need them to understand and take care about. You diminish your own currency with this sort of thing.

I mean - what are the odds of someone, at that random moment, coming out of a hotel room to snatch a 12 year old girl? Probably about the same as a gunman deciding to burst into the room you’re actually in. Or a collapse of the ceiling above you. It’s important to keep things in perspective and take a rational approach to risk.

Soooo why risk it in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people and surroundings?! Bet you the McCans thought it’d be all okay. Look all I’m saying is if you’re not comfortable with letting your YOUNG child out of your sight on holiday then I think that’s a very sensible approach. As I’d rather be branded overly anxious than very Sorry!!!

This is a little bit silly. People are irrational creatures, ‘instinct’ leads us into all sorts of trouble.

I sincerely hope OP that you don't pass your anxieties on to your child and that she grows up to be a confident and fulfilled woman who strides across the world to find her own adventures. Like I did.

I really despair. I read about high levels of anxiety in teenagers and I can't help thinking this is why.

Yep. Crime against strangers is lower than it's ever been, yet kids are now primed to be scared of everything.

@Overthebs you can never rule out child abduction so i assume your 12 year old is never out of your sight even for a second?

You think UK is safer than a ’foreign country’? I’m not from the UK but I only ever hear people from the UK speak like this. You honestly should have stayed at home, you are foreigner yourself in the country you are in and maybe they think foreigners are dodgy too.

I feel sorry for your daughter and husband.

Sometimes MN makes me doubt the wisdom of universal suffrage.

On holiday in an unfamiliar place where I wasn’t able to categorically rule out child abduction

You can't rule out child abduction anywhere. Even your own back garden. But it's a vanishingly rare event, and damaging your child confidence and restricting their independence is very damaging.

I have read this entire thread with my jaw hanging open. I honestly cannot believe how many people have agreed with OP. And how many seem to think that the only acceptable level of risk is zero.

@LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood risk analysis theory is all very well but totally ridiculous in this situation. Yes, there are three factors to consider - risk itself, consequences of not doing action, potential downside. But they need to be seen together - the potential downside is real here but the risk factor is SOOOO low, it completely negates it. By that analysis, a child this age would never be allowed to go to the park or shop in their home town becuase there the risk of them being hurt or abducted is somewhat higher than in a hotel corridor.

We went to EuroDisney when DD was 7 and DS was 11. The two of them regularly went up to the room by themselves ahead of me and DH. I took DD to London last year and she loved going to get ice in the ice machine by herself (she was 8) I think I left the door open so I could hear her, but more in case she got scared or fell over or something, not because I was worried she'd be grabbed.

I really despair. I read about high levels of anxiety in teenagers and I can't help thinking this is why.

My point still stands. If you don't let your 12 year old out of your sight AT ALL on holiday (once they have their bearings and have familiarised themselves with the hotel/resort) you're still being over protective.

OP said her DH was dealing with their youngest, and I’m assuming that the whole family used the bin, so why not?

It would be funny if I wasn't true!

Aaww you’re all out on form today aren’t you - miss quoting what I’ve said ahah.

… On holiday in an unfamiliar place where I wasn’t able to categorically rule out child abduction YES 100% wouldn’t let my 12 year old out of my sight .. better safe than sorry hey.

I think you're being over the top. You have watched Taken too many times!
Is your husband Liam Neeson, does he have a unique set of skills?

The paranoia and anxiety on this thread!! Honestly, over anxious parents do kids NO favours.

There are so many obvious differences between that and walking down a corridor at 10 pm. Mostly the fact that the man in question had the time to see what was going on and plan.

I can't work out how OP thinks this random abductor even knows her daughter is walking down the corridor, let alone prepared to take that sort of risk knowing that he might easily be seen, the alarm could be raised within a very short period, and he would be one of a very small pool of suspects.

You are ridiculous. And racist. Why would your daughter be more at risk in the USA?

It is the time of day or night rather (10pm) that would be an issue for me - someone coming up the lift drunk etc.
An option would be to open the hotel door and watch her - but quite frankly I am not sure why your lazy husband would not just do it himself if he wants it emptied so much!

This is one of the stupidest threads I've ever read. Your perception of risk is so bizarre I don't know where to start.