Would you let your child do this or am I over the top?

This book is a good one on the topic of how being overly fearful and restrictive is harming kids.

https://www.thecoddling.com/

I would have reacted exactly like you. Also, my husband would have gone himself. No transcendent existential lesson lost for your daughter, don't let the preachers around here get to you 😂
I recommend Gavin De Becker books, by the way 😉

I had no problem developing this skills at an appropriate age, I don’t think 12 is it and I think 11 is far too young for country walks. My eldest is 17 and walks around on his own all the time, in fact I ask to collect him When it is midnight + but he won’t let me, he’s fine is definitely resilient, 17 is very different to 12, I would know as I have both ages of children.

More at risk in a country like America - YES!

So, when there are loads of people around in a busy tourist town but it's FOREIGN, that's more dangerous than lots of people around in a busy ENGLISH town?

the suggestion that this is just common sense is mind blowing. But I appreciate it won't change your mind.

What I find as nuts is people making a big deal of dh asking his child to put a bin out, do people never ask their kids to put something in the bin for them?!

I wouldnt of let them in America
Not because i would think someone would drag her into a room, but more because alot of Americans have guns and there could be some kind of argument / fight with guns involved

Did you say it in front of your child?

If so, she will now think there is some murdering psycho lurking in the corridors

Ok so two scenarios -

We live in a small village in a rural area. DSD (12) walks and gets a bus to and from school every day. Including in winter when it’s dark. She walks on quiet lanes and paths. Sometimes with her friends but sometimes on her own if they’re doing classes after school.

When we’re on holiday she’ll go down to the pool on her own, go to the local shop on her own and generally just hang around with any other kids she meets…

So in this instance I’m assuming you’re saying she’s more at risk on holiday because she’s in a “foreign country”?

I think my view is informed by my Mum’s experience as a little girl. Her Mum worked in a city Gallery and my Mum as an 8 year old girl was allowed to go with my Gran to work in the school holidays as she would get bored she was allowed to wonder down the corridors in and out of a room she was allowed to sit in, whilst wondering she was taken by a Man coming around the corner of one of these corridors. He took her out of the gallery, tried to put her in his car but by this point the another staff member intervened as she knew the man didn’t know my Mum. The Police were called and he was known to them as he had done this previously and sadly committed assaults.

A 12 year old will be followed and targeted in a hotel corridor at 10 pm? How does the abductor know she will be there? They would have to be actively insane to do that knowing that there's CCTV and that people in the rooms a few feet away will hear. I mean, I know that seriously insane people exist, but surely if they fancy abducting young girls they will do it out on the streets, not in empty hotel corridors where they don't even know a young girl is anywhere in the vicinity?

Its a different situation when 11 year old children are walking to school where there are loads of other children & people about. Allowing an 11 year old to wander the streets in a foreign country, possibly on a road with very few people about is insane. Laugh away if you disagree it won't change my mind nor that of those with an ounce of common sense.

This. As soon as I started high school - probably even before - I had a lot more freedom on holiday. I hope the OP isn’t reading this as she’ll no doubt report my parents to the police 🤣 but when I was about 10/11 and on holiday in Tenerife, we were having dinner in a local restaurant. I was mithering for some tat I’d seen at the gift shop during the day so my mum and dad let me walk there ON MY OWN with CASH IN MY POCKET and IT WAS DARK!!!

and we wonder why our children lack resilience! you could stand at the door and watch them do it if you are that stressed. I would let a younger child do this. and its not about risk. its about giving them the tools to cope with difficult/dodgy situations. they dont suddenly develop these skills at 18. they practice them from a young age and get the confidence they need to deal with the drunk person or the mouthy aggressive one or whatever. At 11 my kids took the bus to school then walked. they went on the train into town. they went for countryside walks with their peers. we taught them strategies to deal with things that might occur. Helicopter parenting doesnt do the children any good at all.

I agree with you and so would my DH and he’s pretty slack. Mind you, he wouldn’t expect his cleaning issues to be accommodated by other people.

13 is plenty old enough to be developing independence. If you aren't letting the leash out by then you are failing as a parent.

I mean an 11 year old wandering the streets in a warzone I would find chilling, but... Greece 😂

Yes, in a small Greek village that we had spent a few hours in, where we were less than a minute away, probably the same distance as the Marriott corridor to be honest. Or a small Greek hotel that we'd stayed in for several days.

I'm not understanding the chills, and I do worry more about her being out and about locally to where we live, even though it's generally a nice safe area. There's no greater inherent risk in a small Greek village than in a Cheshire market town.

I guess my question is.... If not now then when? She's a teen, and there is no magical button that you switch at 15 or 18 etc that makes them suddenly ready.

And btw plenty of adults also get abducted.

That’s fine though because they live there. And apparently you can’t be abducted where you live. Only in a foreign country 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣

The chills 🤣🤣🤣

Age 11 is not a teenager & age 13 is still a young child

I hope you're being sarcastic 😂 you do realise that 11 year olds live in Greece and probably walk down the road by themselves??

The idea that a teenager (or close to it) doesn't require constant supervision gives you chills?

Sheesh.

In a foreign country at age 11? This post has given me the chills 🤦‍♀️

Totally OTT. Extreme helicopter parenting.

How do some people on MN ever leave their house?

There's CCTV in the corridor, she'd have made a fuss and the very liklihood of even been grabbed is miniscule