Would you let your child do this or am I over the top?

I also think YABU. Very OTT to stop an almost teen walking down a hotel corridor.

I absolutely would allow my child to do that at that age. I'd also expect her to help with chores like take the rubbish out. When my dd was 13 and we were on holiday in Portugal we'd often give her the key to the apartment so she could walk the 10 minutes back if she got bored of the beach. It never crossed my mind she would be snatched. The world is generally a safe place and most abductions are done by someone known to the victim. I refuse to live in unrealistic fear and pass it on to my kids

My DC need to use the internet for school work, to exist in the modern age, I have all the checks in place, I won’t even let them have certain apps because of where the data is stored and who it is being sold to, my professional position allows me to be more than covered in that area.

Hotel Lawsuits for sexual assaults in well known hotels have increased considerably, it is not necessary for my child to come cross such a predator so why would I take the risk? My Mum was taken from a gallery in a corridor, a poster above has told you about the attempted attack on them in a hotel corridor. I have been to many countries as a late teen/early twenties in particular and my experiences inform my opinion on this.

Agree totally

@Goldenbear you're presumably happily accessing the Internet. Your child, if you have one, most likely accesses the Internet. Crime is committed on the internet all the time and can sometimes show up in the most unexpected places.

Yet you wouldn't let a 12 year old walk down a hotel corridor unaccompanied. A hotel which you would presumably have researched in advance, booked because you felt it was suitable for your needs and be happily staying in. Why is that hotel corridor more of a risk than the internet?

Have you read the book? It advocates for age-appropriate risk taking. Walking past 12 hotel room doors for a 12 year old could be argued to be pretty age-appropriate? She's not wandering the streets of Harlem at 10pm, it's a Mariott hotel...

The book promotes CBT methods and shares how much modern day thinking in the west is the antithesis of CBT principles and agreed upon wisdom across many cultures, which could be an explanation for the increased anxiety, depression and fragility seen in our young people today.

Since this is an open forum, you're welcome to share a book or resource that advocates for over the top risk aversion and how that might positively impact children's wellbeing.

ok speaking from experience here no i wouldnt, I was walking past hotel rooms when i was 13 on holiday and someone tried pulling me into the hotel room, i only managed to escape because someone came out of the room a few doors up and i screamed so he let go and ran. I have never experienced such fear and i would rather anything that could happen would happen to me instead of any of my children.

I would not risk it. It may sound silly but for the sake of putting out rubbish, if it did happen as there is a chance. .... i would never forgive myself.

That’s true. My friend’s aunt was on holiday in America and a gun fight broke out in the hotel corridor between two guests over some towels. She had to peep through the keyhole until the SWAT team came. It was like the OK Corrale. Bullets flying everywhere, there was.

It was a Mariott I think: so I’ve never stayed in one since. Except the one in Kent: that one is quite nice, and they’ve always plenty of towels.

Sorry your point is completely confusing and lost on me I’m afraid, you’ll have to explain it.

Ah, yes. All those terrible foreigners. Best to not go near any of them. Especially the ones in the strange, exotic land called “the USA”.

Sexual assaults in hotels are increasing in the U.S so there would be data on that but your very specific data set does not exist. Would I worry about my child coming across someone with those intentions that have committed those crimes, yes I would; therefore, would I risk that interaction if not necessary, no I wouldn’t.

I'm surprised you're on the internet @Goldenbear . I guarantee right now that there is crime being committed and enabled by the internet and some of it is absolutely horrific.

My Dd is as light as a feather and could put up hardly any fight.

Anyone who assesses risk will know that it needs to be done on the basis of actual, y'know, data.

Ridiculous gut feelings about kids being abducted in hotel corridors don't count.

The idea that a kid is going to be snatched in such a scenario is so fucking ridiculously stupid it wouldn't even register on any sane risk matrix. If you think otherwise, then I fail to see how you would allow anyone to do anything, ever.

Hotel sexual assaults have increased, your ludicrous stat request is not available but that doesn’t mean the risk of somebody coming across a young girl who had the above intentions in mind would not see it as an opportunity to change their plans. All this rational thought process you and others are applying to sexual predators is a) naïve to the extreme and b)simply untrue

It is a completely avoidance risk so why bother taking it.

My child could put up more of a fight at 12, he’d scream and shout and punch and kick the abducter. At 3 he’d probably have gone in the room with them if they offered him some sweets

I would have the same response as you. Perhaps sadly you and I know first hand how these things can happen so are more huper vigilant

@goldenbear - you keep providing what you tell us are the ways to assess risk. Or the best options for risk management.

But when you are challenged and someone offers an alternative to risk assessment, not just "instinct" but with specific examples of higher vs lower risk, tools for risk assessment etc, you bat it aside with "certain countries are higher risk, not just for tourists" which is an incredibly generic and poor risk assessment model. Which, if you work in risk management, you should know.

Can you produce some statistics about how many kids per year are snatched from hotel corridors in reputable hotel chains in the US?

Thanks in advance.

I don’t think anyone is suggesting, ‘it’s a foreign country so it’s automatically more dangerous”However, certain countries are more risky to everyone not just tourists, that is just a fact. Not having familiarity with a place and customs makes you instantly at a disadvantage, being a young child disadvantages you further.

What, exactly and within rational thought, is going to happen to a 12 year old walking down a corridor in a mid to upper range hotel at 10pm which will doubtless have cctv on it and will be within shouting range of her parents?

I mean, ffs. She's more likely to trip over the carpet more than anything else.

This place is absolutely nuts at times.

I can be an anxious parent at times but this is waaaay over the top!

Out of curiosity, just looked at highest kidnapping rates.

2023:
Turkey
Lebenon
Kuwait
Canada
Belgian
Sough Africa

Surprised Canada and Belgian are so high (based on per capita rather than total people kidnapped)

She's 12, of course she can go to a hotel bin, this level of anxiety isn't normal tbh. She should be building up her independence, just stand at the door and watch her 🤷‍♀️

I disagree. I grew up in South Africa. I am far more alert when I am out and about than many people I know. I'm constantly surprised by how casual people are with their belongings in public and have been known to secretly roll my eyes when someone tells me their wallet was stolen when I've noticed them leaving their bag on random chairs at restaurants on a reglar basis.

What I think growing up with higher risks does though is give me a good ability to assess risk. I know that the chances of me being murdered while wandering down the street in a tourist town in Europe are low. I also know that the chances of me being pickpocketd in that same tourist town are high. I am careful about the areas I go into at night if I don't know an area well. I do not worry about being grabbed on a popular beach at lunch time.

I also understand the benefit of looking at statistics and/or accessing information on crime and how things are handled when they go badly. There are countries I would not want to visit or would be cautious about because I have read about actual situations in which tourists have got into significant trouble by doing things that are considered perfectly normal at home - many middle eastern countries being a good example of this. On the other hand, I know that violent or excessive crime against tourists in places like Greece are low.

These are huge parts of how I asses risk. Rather than blanket, "it's a foreign country so it's automatically more dangerous".