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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this not bizarre mum behaviour?

113 replies

Calmascannotbe · 13/06/2024 00:24

Ok - some minor details changed just to avoid completely outing anyone.

So for the past two years, like many schools, we have had a Whatsapp chat group for parents. This parent is the class rep and is on the whole pretty organised and helpful. However they will all too often use their kid as a pretence to post videos or photos of what they are randomly up to, e.g. 'oh here we are at some lovely place, X wanted me to post this to show all his/her friends'/'oh look what X is up to, X wanted you to show his/her friends'.

No one else does anything like this and fundamentally these appear to be stealth brag posts and there is little engagement or reciprocation - maybe a few token heart emojis. It's been going on for 18 months now and I know I should ignore it but I'd rather it didn't happen and I just think it's pretty poor behaviour. The Whatsapp group is for admin and keeping up to date with key events, parties etc. and whilst there is jovial chat/networking, these posts randomly appear and just put an awkward stop on any other discussion. One person recently alluded to it straight after a stealth brag post when they commented on the group if someone could summarise which birthday parties are upcoming as they have lost track with the non-school related posts.

The thing that really tipped it over the edge was that on a couple of occasions recently, this parent has randomly decided to coincide their daily activities with some of the school trips the kids in the class have been on and will creepily post pictures of the kids from a distance. AIBU to think this is really odd behaviour? If you have free time, why would you choose to spend it lingering in the shadows around a class trip your kid was on and then send blurry pictures of the kids from afar? Yes fair enough I should just ignore it, refrain from engaging as I am already doing and move on with my life but at the same time, is this not just mentally bizarre behaviour?!

OP posts:
Halfheadhighlights · 13/06/2024 07:33

Odd behaviour. I don’t like the creepy school trip photos yikes!

the first part is annoying and it sounds like she doesn’t have anything else in her life, hence she finds time and prioritises stalking a school trip group instead of having a life of her own.

Iwrotethelyricstoaxlf · 13/06/2024 07:32

TootGoesTheOwl · 13/06/2024 05:54

We have one if these in the Scouts whatsapp group.
If someone asks one of the leaders a question she has to jump in within a millisecond with the answer 🙄
She posts her pictures of events (with her child front and centre) before the leaders post the (more balanced) pictures of all the kids.
Most irritatingly she sends out reminders of upcoming events, it is literally nothing to do with her!
No one responds anymore and yet it is like she can't stop, she doesn't work and has one teen so the majority of us parents feel like she uses it to fill her time.
I can't even leave/mute the group as that is how the leaders share info on events etc.
I totally understand how bloody irritating it is!

Can you block her? Then enjoy the silence.

JustMarriedBecca · 13/06/2024 07:29

We have two class group chats. One for formal messages from school and one for chat like "has anyone seen X's jumper"

StormingNorman · 13/06/2024 07:27

It sounds like her child is her identity now.

MangoJojo · 13/06/2024 06:32

A mum I go to toddlers groups with regularly does these sort of posts on the local Facebook community pages. It will be a post loosely related to something local with a picture of her kid chucked in, often with “pic for attention”. I used to think it was annoying as hell but I kind of feel bad for her now, like she just really needs that little bit of connection/attention even if it’s total strangers.

That second but though is mental and someone needs to pull her up on it.

MangoJojo · 13/06/2024 06:32

A mum I go to toddlers groups with regularly does these sort of posts on the local Facebook community pages. It will be a post loosely related to something local with a picture of her kid chucked in, often with “pic for attention”. I used to think it was annoying as hell but I kind of feel bad for her now, like she just really needs that little bit of connection/attention even if it’s total strangers.

That second but though is mental and someone needs to pull her up on it.

TootGoesTheOwl · 13/06/2024 05:54

We have one if these in the Scouts whatsapp group.
If someone asks one of the leaders a question she has to jump in within a millisecond with the answer 🙄
She posts her pictures of events (with her child front and centre) before the leaders post the (more balanced) pictures of all the kids.
Most irritatingly she sends out reminders of upcoming events, it is literally nothing to do with her!
No one responds anymore and yet it is like she can't stop, she doesn't work and has one teen so the majority of us parents feel like she uses it to fill her time.
I can't even leave/mute the group as that is how the leaders share info on events etc.
I totally understand how bloody irritating it is!

sixtyandsomething · 13/06/2024 04:46

just sounds like a non professional person who doesn't really get what a whatapp group is for and how it is used, either talk to her about it in person or ignore it

IdealHomeExhibition · 13/06/2024 04:41

The first bit sounds annoying af and I'd ignore/ mute.

Second bit about blurry paparazzi pics of children from the school is unhinged AF and school needs screen shots emailed so they can ask her wtf she's doing.

Cornishpasty342 · 13/06/2024 03:59

Creeping about taking photos of the children in the distance and then sending it to the group chat? This is bizarre behaviour. I’d definitely tell the school as that is inappropriate and downright weird.

Yazzi · 13/06/2024 03:30

The first half I would just endure. The second I would speak to the school about. I haven't consented to my kids images being taken by the school and I would consider this adjacent and something they should take action on.

BarbieKenough · 13/06/2024 03:24

I suggest you message this woman privately and recommend intense therapy. What a oddbod.

Wordsmithery · 13/06/2024 02:55

Seems to me they haven't really realised what the WhatsApp group is for.

Watching a school outing from afar, though, is , yes, pretty weird and I think I'd mention it to the school. I can't imagine any healthy reasons anybody would do that.

Slightly off topic: I'm so glad we didn't have WhatsApp when my kids were at school. Group messages would have been a constant reminder that my quiet and less popular DD was not being included in activities.