To be irritated by friend’s remark about ADHD?

That side of my DD's ADHD (diagnosed as a child and medicated) has had a massive positive effect on her life. She chose not to medicate as an adult and it helped her do well in work and later rise to management in social care.
OP, making a different choice isn't a criticism of the choices you've made. He's just explained his reasoning because you are good friends and he felt that he could.

I think he was perfectly fine in how he expressed himself on this topic. You are looking for what he was inferring - he wasn’t. You have invented a whole underlying narrative and then are angry at him about it! He was just answering your question about himself. FYI I feel the same way and so does my DD. She’s diagnosed but doesn’t want to take medication and I am sure I could get a diagnosis myself and I have out of interest done a screening before and it was high scoring, but I don’t think it would add to my life at all. We are managing in our lives but appreciate it’s not the same for everyone. I have a very particular reason why I have learned to cope and I have had a lot of therapy and I have finally accepted myself the way I am and I have learnt how to use certain things to my advantage. It’s not a slight on you that I feel this way about myself

I suspect he also has ADHD. During a recent conversation I did reference this and wondered if he’d considered seeking a diagnosis too
I agree this was over stepping. I’m surprised he was as reasonable in his response. I have hayfever but don’t take a daily antihistamine, despite it being recommended by a health professional. I don’t want to take medication every day. That’s my choice. I’ve done my research and have my reasons. I’d be quite annoyed to be challenged on it or have to explain my decision.

You have become a convert and you want him to be one too!

You're being over sensitive - which is a feature of ADHD by the way.

He's said he feels he's managing ok as he is. That's his choice.

You felt diagnosis and medication would help you and it has.

Both approaches are equally valid. It's a personal choice. No right or wrong.

He’s allowed to have his own approach to medication even IF he does have a diagnosis - which in fact he doesn’t.

Given you have already declared that you think he needs to seek diagnosis, and that you assume he would be diagnosed if he did, to then intrude still further and want to direct his response to the diagnosis he doesn’t yet even have is massively overstepping and I could see HE might feel offended. Yet somehow you have managed to feel offended. 🤷🏻‍♀️Is making things all about you a symptom?

More gently OP, I wonder if what is really going on in your mind is that you’d like him to be taking the same path, which is normal for many when striking out in a new or unknown direction, and that’s why you feel his own decisions about his own circumstances are somehow your business?

YABU

Frankly he was quite polite in the circumstances whereas you were not.

@CanadaNotAMum it might not be an actual diagnostic condition, but it's a cognitive phenomenon that people do experience. You are correct, it is not exclusive to those with adhd. The op may feel particularly sensitive about her adhd diagnosis and treatment plan .

However, there is the possibility that the friend was being critical of her choice.

I think that symptoms can be more troublesome as you age, have a more demanding job/ busier life so he might change his mind in the future. This is his view at present.

He didn’t just offer up his opinion, you put him in the spot and asked. He answered honestly about his choices for him.

You say yourself he has been nothing but pleased and supportive for you.

To be honest and in the nicest way maybe you should have minded your own business rather than comment on something that he hadn’t asked your opinion on.

I think trying to diagnose another adult with anything is completely out of order and he handled it really well, I would have been really angry if I were him.

Yabvu.

I'm not sure what you expected him to say? He was just being honest. Unless there was something about his tone of voice I think what he said was fine.

I'm seeking an ADHD diagnosis and I will be medicating by the way. But I can understand why some people don't want to, I was originally of that mind but the symptoms have blighted my life for too long.

I agree with this. It may feel a bit like a personal attack or criticism of your decision.

I am a very high energy person, but I navigate life perfectly happily. I have been told by lots of people who are medicating for ADHD that I should try it. I find I get a lot done in a day (I never sit down) and that I’m organised and efficient. I find it frustrating that people suggest I need to change something about myself. It feels like they’re saying there is something about me they don’t like.

Perhaps he feels the same.

He can support you while taking a different tack for himself.
You feel strongly about the topic, he doesn't.
That's ok.

"He didn’t make you feel anything, he told you his thoughts on his life and you chose to make it about you. You made yourself feel like that. "

This!

My 3 of 4 kids have ADHD, all diagnosed and the last one is pending diagnosis. All diagnosed as teens adults. I was diagnosed bipolar twenty years ago but I can bet you a million pubs that I am in fact ADHD and was misdiagnosed. Now, for my kids, medikenet has been a life line. It single handedly saved my youngest dds GCSEs. I may seek a diagnosis myself or I may not, but I have no real intention of taking medication unless something drastically changed. I'm 45, I've learned to cope so 🤷🏼‍♀️. My children know this, but me stating it doesn't negate their own medical pathway or cause them to introspect on what they are doing. They just understand not everybody is the same.

DH and I have ADHD. He medicates, I don't.
I don't need, or want, pharmaceuticals for the rest of my life. Doesn't make me any better than DH, it's just the choices we've made to individually manage it.
If asked, I'd answer the same as your friend.

I’ve noticed this phenomenon in people recently diagnosed with ADHD that they think everyone else has it too

Says a lot about the diagnostic criteria imho

The only person with a right to be irritated here is him.

you over stepped, he politely deflected and you took offence

I think that was really rude of you to imply he might have Adhd and asking if he will get a an assessment for diagnosis! Quite insulting actually.

In starting to actively avoid people who wave about their diagnosis. They never seem to want to fly under the radar and feel their condition of themselves or their kids should be the hot topic of conversation or that they should notify me upon meeting. Some people, like me don't care! I am in the crack on camp and think this explosion of diagnosis all came about because of the Internet and people spending too much time in online groups echochambers. Mind your own business.

@Donutbed RSD is not a recognized disorder or diagnosis. It’s floated around a lot on pseudoscience sites and groups where there is a lot of self reporting. Some people are more sensitive to perceived rejection than others, but that it’s not a sp civic ADHD trait.

@4pirates , you definitely overstepped. If he does have ADHD but feels that he can manage his symptoms without treatment, than his ADHD is probably quite mild. If it’s not mild and he’s not treating it, then he’s putting himself at all kinds of risk, but that’s his decision to make.

You were the unreasonable one, you can’t go around diagnosing people and expect them to be delighted