nursery opening hours

@scottishgal09 Im sorry but you and your partner both work two jobs.. I’m the last person to say “should have thought about this before having children etc” because things happen understandably.. however, in this situation did neither of you honestly expect that one of you would kind of have to drop the hours initially for little one?

it’s massively unfair to put little one in nursery 6 days a week, neither of you would be seeing/bonding with baby, people may jump on me for this.. but surely you look at what your priorities are right now, this should be your child.. I would be either looking for a new job to work better around my child OR I would cut one of the jobs loose to make more time for my child until they are a tad older.

to answer your question, no in my area it’s all 7.30am to 6pm times.. you would probably need a nanny for the 6am part.. depending on what time you actually finish work and if you can make it for the 6pm pick up you may need one for that aswell if you work later times.

my opinion would be though to look for a new job or do less hours, I understand there’s cost of living atm but both of you working two jobs? Is that really necessary if we’re being honest? This should have definitely been thought about when you found out you was having little one, my opinion and a few others on here have said it would be completely unfair to practically barely see your child 6days a week.

also you haven’t thought about spaces in other nursery settings.. I can tell you this now as someone who has tried for the last two years just to get my daughter in for an extra day in her nursery they still haven’t got any space for her.. because all the nursery settings are jam packed atm.. I can’t see any nursery having that sort of space you’re wanting.

OP I sympathise with the fact that you can't find nursery hours to fit round your work hours but the reality is that too few families need those early morning hours so it doesn't make financial sense for nurseries to offer those hours. I googled "nurseries my town" and almost every one of the nurseries in my locality (taking in a population of around 200,000 people) didn't open until 8am; the one based in the local NHS hospital operates 08.00-17.30.

Please don't dismiss childminders. My DDs both went to different childminders and didn't spend their time in front of the tv or on the school run (the only time I ever did a pick up when the tv was on was 9/11). They went to toddler groups, they interacted with the other minded children and the childminders' own children (all of different ages so it was like a family), they went to the supermarket, they had fun in the garden, they played with many toys, one had a trip to the garage for a quick car repair and raved about the balloons she had seen.
I worked full time plus evening meetings when my DD1 was a baby (DH was a PhD student so I had no choice) back in the day when SMP ended after 16 weeks but we combined DH, childminder and grandparents for childcare; after 10 months I quit because I| couldn't cope with the hours any more and I had been working so many hours that I hadn't had time to spend money other than bills so we had enough in the bank to cover the essentials plus I knew I could pick up temp work. Shortly before my notice period finished DH secured a job.

OP Your wee one is only a baby for a short time; don't miss out on that time.

I'm baffled as to why you have a child to be honest. I worked part time after maternity leave and then went full time when they were a little older and whilst nursery was great, there is nothing like being with your parents, for them and you. Leaving a child for these hours is going to create a very disconnected child. Frankly, it's just a terrible idea and that's why nurseries don't offer those hours. A job is a job, you will never get this time back with your beautiful child.

I’m all for keeping your career going. However I just find it bizarre that you’re only just looking in the nursery opening hours now. Plus you don’t seem to have any back up plan for when they are sick.

Good luck with it all - sounds like you need a Nanny. I can’t see any other option.

Of course there was no answer with some of the comments she was getting. I imagine she stopped reading ages ago to be honest.

It was a 6am start and a weekend morning. I just don’t think it makes her this cold, heartless parent who wouldn’t even miss her baby.

As several pp’s also pointed out, there’s also clearly some kind of cultural influence too.

No I don’t think it’s goes without saying she will miss her baby. Quite the opposite actually. Her reasons were doing it were dubious - that the baby would be better off at a nursery with puzzles rather than at home with her parents. Also the second job was to pay for the nursery - no answer as to why one parent couldn’t stop the second job and stay at home with her instead. As a parent, I can’t see how you can defend her tbh. It wasn’t a case of her wanting 5 days full time nursery. It was more than that and the reasons for it were frankly bizarre.

She also said to continue to advance her career to provide for her baby.

Mine started full time nursery younger than 9 months so no, it isn’t something I can get worked up over.

She was talking about how it’s necessary for her to work full time

Yes, to "pay for nursery fees" so the child is at home as little as possible because it's "boring"!

WHY do (some...) posters think this is reasonable for a 9 month old? What the hell have I been reading? I'm hiding this thread now because if you are sticking up for this an approach to parenting you are bonkers.

Lets not pretend double standards don’t exist.

She was talking about how it’s necessary for her to work full time due to comments suggesting that she go part time. She also talked about picking the baby up early from nursery, obviously wanting to spend some time with them.

I’m not sure why she had to mention that she will miss her baby. It goes without saying.

But the mum posted so I have no idea how the dad feels and can only go on what the mum says. Tbh no it didn’t seem like it was a given that she would miss her child. All she focussed on was how much she would miss her job if her child wasn’t in the childcare. Not the other way round 🤷🏼‍♀️

Surely it goes without saying that parents miss their children?

It only seems to be mothers that are expected to fall over themselves talking about how much they miss their children.

Other people on here seems more offended by the comments than she did. She didn’t actually seemed bothered at all. She never once mentioned how she would miss her child or the 6 days a week childcare was an absolute last resort. I think that’s what got other posters’ backs up. It honestly seemed that she was more invested in her job than her child and that is hard for the majority of us to understand.

Or asking her why she bothered having a baby at all

Or suggesting she send her baby to live with family in Thailand

Not even close to some of the awful comments OP have had.

Oh come on! Hardly in the same calibre of suggesting she puts her baby up for adoption!

You have a very blinkered view … you talk about your sacrificing - it’s your child that is making the biggest enforced sacrifice .

Tgere are two of you . One of you needs to find a job that doesn’t involve Saturday mornings .

You have a very blinkered view of childminders .. I followed the same guidance as nurseries , I had a lot of toys we did messy play and whilst I did do school run our days were filled with structured and child led activities . the earliest I had a child was 6.15…

however your choice your child .. I also think you are missing some of the points of education . There can be lots of joy - helping mum clean up , running round in the park with parents builds confidence .

you put emphasis on what Docors kids do … do they miss out absolutely they do , quite often in a relationship one parent has to make sacrifices for the other to forge ahead in careers one starts early , one starts late , opposite shifts . It’s hard but the reality of life .

It’s disingenuous to say the OP only posted to rant about nursery opening hours. It didn’t take long for her to be derogatory about childminders and make some very judgmental statements herself.

Then stop incessantly replying to my posts please.

Leave me alone.

You have @ replied to me five or six times, and I have replied to you. It’s called an exchange. I have not called you names or insulted you. You asked what OP could gain from the thread and I gave examples. Disagreeing with someone is not targeting them. I have asked you to provide an example of bullying, so give them if you can.

It’s been 18hrs since the last exchange, so I’m not sure what you’re looking to gain.

No you've targeted me more than other posters. You are a bully.

I suspect this was posted intentionally onto AIBU with the intent of gaining traffic and comments. I don’t think OP is a genuine poster.

The fact that what you want doesn’t exist in the UK should tell you something @scottishgal09

You keep going on about doctors but many female doctors work part time when their children are young. Those that work full time still don’t have nurseries opening from 6am plus Saturday mornings for their convenience. And no nursery will do it for you either.

You have a partner. Between the two of you it must be possible for one of you to start work a little later and alternate working Saturdays. Yes that may not be perfect for your careers as you can no longer offer your employer complete flexibility. But you chose to have a baby and that baby deserves to spend time at home with a parent not a paid caregiver who won’t love them. You are deluding yourself if you think nursery staff will love your baby, though they will care for them. It is a paid job for them like you are paid to provide a service in a restaurant.

If you job is incompatible with raising a child then one of you will need to switch career or reduce your hours, it is that simple.

I think Op has a weird view that a nurseries 'qualified staff' will provide better development, stimulation and toys for her baby than anyone else, including childminders, extended family and even her and her DH.

A bit like extreme hothousing.

What's the point in having a baby if you're going to be away from 6am til 7pm and at weekends. Poor child

I agree