To feel like life is more hassle than it's worth

I also do get ground down by the drudgery, complication and effort-fullness of life. Bored by putting others first as I was brought up to do. ( never seems to have been a phase when others put me first). I did a load of living and traverlling my 20s and 30s, so there isn’t much left that I am genuinely curious about. Perhaps how my kids might turn out. Definitely how my garden will be next year. Perhaps looking forward to some nice time with the cat! Seems very humdrum. Perhaps that is why religion took off!

I have never thought like this because I always think that I can change my life circumstances in some way to bring me happiness. It sounds like you're a square peg in a round hole and that you aren't happy living a life that some other people might enjoy. That's absolutely fine as we are all different, but the question is, what do you want to do? What would make you feel joy and passion for life. Perhaps routine isn't for you and you need to do something more varied to feel excited again.

This is the importance of the Arts. To help us find peace and meaning in our little lives, in this imperfect world.

I have a little flat

but I’d probably pay for a cleaner if I got a house.

I forget that people do love cleaning and that’s how people make careers out of influencing re cleaning

but no offence, it seems a very odd thing to raise on this thread. If you’d suggested art or music I’d have been less surprised.

I’m glad you like it though.

I remember someone once saying to me “Wouldn’t you love the chance to live your life over again? You can’t change anything but just have the chance to go back and do it all again”. I replied “Absolutely not, I can’t think of anything worse! It’s been a battle getting through it all once!”

He was really genuinely shocked that I felt that way, whereas I couldn’t understand anyone wanting to do it twice!

Yes, I agree with you, but it still adds up to "is this it?", even if you feel you're just about winning on points with the small dopamine hits.

I completely agree. Maybe I just have extremely bad luck, but I feel like life is just a series of good things coming in your life and then those things being taken away from you.

I was renting a flat where I really enjoyed living and felt like home - had to move out because the landlord was moving his daughter in.

I had an amazing friend who felt like a sister - she completely changed during covid, like she had a personality transplant.

I was volunteering in a DV charity, feeling really fulfilled that I'm doing something useful - the charity gets a new manager who is an a-hole...

I can go on and on with examples, it's constant.

Then also add to that the fact that we spend the majority of our life at work making some rich man richer and doing chores, it's all just a slog and I don't see the point in putting in effort.

@TheLeadbetterLife what I'm saying is if you don't hoover (or sleep) you feel worse than you would if you did.

Yes, so you hoover, you get a good night's sleep, you wake up feeling great, and then what? Hoover again?

Really?

I have a house! And after cleaning I have a clean house. Feels good.

I don't feel like that at all and I'm 42, but everyone's circumstances are different. I love travelling and am lucky that I can get away for several a year.

If you like travelling could you take time off work or quit and go on an adventure.

doesn't the idea that life amounts to a marginal win of small joys over tedious shite just make you want to scream?

The way I see it, it's all just biochemistry. Feel good hormones vs lack of them.
Sleep is definitely top of my list too.

Ugh. I know you mean well with this, and I knew this thread would draw these types of comment, but doesn't the idea that life amounts to a marginal win of small joys over tedious shite just make you want to scream?

I mean, I do all this stuff - go on walks every morning, appreciate nature, have a bath, eat good food, take joy in the small things, blah, blah blah. But in the end, it's just the same routine of small joys vs small stresses, over and over again. It's so bloody boring.

I'm neurodivergent, physically disabled and perimenopausal and on bad days could write the same as you 😂 on good days I still have curiosity about how things will go plus having DC and worthwhile work gives me a reason to hang in there until I feel like I create more burden than benefit.

@justtryingg I definitely don’t get any feel good hormones from those tasks. I do from exercise but not from domestic chores. Have you got a magic hoover? 😂

Yeah I get it OP, I feel a bit like ‘what next?’ because I’ve done marriage, babies, forever home and it’s great but there must be something else now instead of just waiting for retirement (I’m 40 so a long way away) or else what’s the point?

But hoovering, doing your little jobs, do give you a boost of the feel good hormone and is what makes your life full of more joys than downs.

So, do hoover. Even though clearly the thought of it puts you off.

Wow OP, I had this exact rant to my partner last night, practically word for word. I'm 43 in October.

Just what is the point of adulthood? It's just stress and bills and boring work and tax returns and cleaning. For what?

My life has no joy in it at the moment and the biggest problem is I don't know what I want to do. I feel lost and bored.

I often feel like this. Like why are we here? What’s it all for? Just odd. Quite deep for a Wednesday afternoon but it’s always something I think about. What is our purpose? Just to pro create, then die?

I hear you OP. I've done a lot of fun stuff though.

if I can be arsed, I'm going to put the Keats quote on the wall "much have I travelled" etc

but I can't be arsed to sort design, print, frame etc 😂

sorry for a mad messy edited post!

I agree, one life is enough for me. Too many stresses, disappointments and expenses. But never too old for a new adventure to make the most of the one life we do have, sounds like you're in a rut OP and need a plan.