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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dear Richi Sunak

182 replies

CarolineFields · 12/06/2024 11:32

I have been a teacher for 30 years, and have at different times been head of department and head of year. Unfortunately, as a mother, it was impossible for me to full fill these roles because of the workload, so I resigned from both.

I made sacrifices to support my child through state school and university

I couldn't afford to replace my glasses, the prescription I used was 5 years out of date.

I have one pair of school shoes, and because I can't afford the bus, and walk 5 miles to school several times a week, I leave my shoes at school, because if they wear out I won't be able to replace them

I used a 10 year old asthma inhaler rather than pay the prescription charge for a new one.

The cats and I shared one heated vest under a duvet rather than turn on the central heating

I save a little bit by charging my phone and laptop from a camping style solar panel - I don't know how much this actually saves, but it must be something, right?

Holidays were camping, by public transport, off peak.

I am middle income, middle class, and consider myself reasonably comfortably well off- no serious worries about housing or food, as so many people suffer with daily.

I have never, in my wildest dreams considered the ludicrous and insane extravagance of taking out a sky tv subscription.

I understand that to some people this is a top priority, as football is such a crucial aspect of our countries cultural life. People who do take this out, will be making massive cuts elsewhere

I am very sorry, but I cannot begin to understand where you are coming from, believing that missing out on sky TV is some sort of sacrifice or deprivation.

I am stunned. I am gobsmacked. I can't take it in. I don't know what to say. I am reeling. I am so shocked. I don't know what it would have been possible to say to alienate me more than what you have just said.

I am sorry. I am struggling to articulate the depth of my astoundedness. It is like my soul can't absorb the words and gags on them. Its like a soul emetic

OP posts:
TheDarrellRivers · 12/06/2024 14:31

mumyes · 12/06/2024 13:20

I am staggered by the lack of empathy / sympathy here.

Op I totally get what you're saying. I see my child's teachers (single mum) & shudder at the thought of how hard it must be for her.

A professional role such as a teacher ad enable a decent standard of living. In 2024 it clearly does not.

I hear you op.

I feel for you op.

Vote the Tories out.

This!!

captainsudoku · 12/06/2024 14:27

Don't vote Tory (or Reform - they are not the answer to anything)There are so many more people in poverty than 14 years ago, of all stripes. OP does your employer offer any discounts?

Ilovemyshed · 12/06/2024 14:09

I'm actually quite concerned that someone so hysterical and unable to spell basic words (fulfil) is teaching children.

ASighMadeOfStone · 12/06/2024 14:09

@CarolineFields you teach in a prison, not a school, right?
I have a friend who does that, and she's paid hourly, and obviously there aren't that many hours of work available.
So maybe that's why you don't have as much money as you'd like, and why those of us who teach in schools are a little confused about your poverty.

WannabeMathematician · 12/06/2024 14:06

@FarmGirl78 Thanks for the info! I'm always afraid to try new opticians without recommendations from people who are in the same boat. But I'll check them out as it sounds like it went well.

FarmGirl78 · 12/06/2024 14:03

Its not convex is it? Its concave. 🤦🏻‍♀️ You know what I mean. They look like jamjar bottoms and they're so strong if anyone else tries them on they can see into the future.

Bushmillsbabe · 12/06/2024 14:03

tennesseewhiskey1 · 12/06/2024 13:33

Do you realise how lucky you are though? This morning a friend of mine who is a Ukrainian refugee told me come August she will have nowhere to stay, she has very young children. Want to swap with her - or is this a race to the bottom?

It's always a race to the bottom on here!

FarmGirl78 · 12/06/2024 14:01

WannabeMathematician · 12/06/2024 13:52

@FarmGirl78 What's your prescription. I am very interested in that price! Was the thinning enough? I find I have to buy extra extra thin lenses or they don't fit on my face.

I'm quoting "ish" prescription because I can't remember. Maybe -11 in one eye and -14 in the other? I have astigmatism and keratoconus. I need the thinnest lenses available and even then I can only get very small frames, because once they get so big the side of the lens convex's out so massively thick it add to the weight and just looks ridiculous. I'm sure if you're in the same shoes as me you know what I'm trying to explain! As the difference between my lenses is fairly big too they'll let me do the right lens as mega-mega-thin, and the left as just mega-thin, to balance out the weight on the bridge of my nose. I get one pair for £80 or two pairs for £120 (I think!). There are frames for £45 all in, but non were suitable for me and wonky ears 🤣

Bushmillsbabe · 12/06/2024 14:00

WearyAuldWumman · 12/06/2024 13:53

Is this specifically for teaching staff? (I'm in Scotland. We get free eye tests anyway, but I was unaware of the voucher scheme that you mention.)

As far as i know it's for anyone who is required to use computers as part of their job, it's an employers responsibility

LaMontser · 12/06/2024 13:57

CarolineFields · 12/06/2024 13:49

most of my post is about the past, raising children on a comfortable income, and making normal sacrifices, and I don't consider myself hard up now, but I was off work for a year with cancer, so obviously that has a knock on effect - but that is not the point though, is it. I am not saying I am poor. I am saying I am normal. But I am outraged at Sunaks idea of "deprived"

But what you describe isn’t normal. Walking five miles to work? One pair of shoes suitable for work? Solar chargers?

I was a lone parent to my son when he was born in 1998. I got a lot of help from the govt to support me to work in 1999. If your son is much older I can understand some of what you describe but it doesn’t resonate to modern life.

Sunak is trying to be a man of the people. I don’t think he believes or is trying to portray lack of sky tv as a huge sacrifice. It’s a well worn Tory trope - how can people be poor if they have massive tvs and sky and an iPhone etc. He’s preaching to the choir.

CheshireCat1 · 12/06/2024 13:56

It isn’t Sunak’s fault that he was brought up without having to make genuine sacrifices but it is his fault that he hasn’t put enough effort into trying to understand the real difficult sacrifices that some in this country have made. If he really cared he would have made more of an effort to understand. He just hasn’t a clue.

Gabbsters · 12/06/2024 13:56

Is there any format more annoying than the open letter?

Beryls · 12/06/2024 13:55

mumyes · 12/06/2024 13:20

I am staggered by the lack of empathy / sympathy here.

Op I totally get what you're saying. I see my child's teachers (single mum) & shudder at the thought of how hard it must be for her.

A professional role such as a teacher ad enable a decent standard of living. In 2024 it clearly does not.

I hear you op.

I feel for you op.

Vote the Tories out.

Give over, as an experienced teacher I was on 42k a year two years ago (there's been a payrise since then) I lived on my own paying rent. I quit and took a job on 30k. I can still afford a bloody pair of shoes from Shoezone and a prescription. If OP has no money for those basics she needs some financial advice.

WearyAuldWumman · 12/06/2024 13:53

Bushmillsbabe · 12/06/2024 12:20

Yes, I appreciate that. But OP couod have got a voucher towards them from work.

My husband is a teacher and he gets a voucher for a yearly eye test and a contribution towards the glasses from work due to DSE regulations (I think that's what it's called)

Is this specifically for teaching staff? (I'm in Scotland. We get free eye tests anyway, but I was unaware of the voucher scheme that you mention.)

WannabeMathematician · 12/06/2024 13:52

@FarmGirl78 What's your prescription. I am very interested in that price! Was the thinning enough? I find I have to buy extra extra thin lenses or they don't fit on my face.

Robyn847 · 12/06/2024 13:51

I'm curious as to why you consider yourself to be middle class. Your situation sounds distinctly working class. There's no shame in it.

FarmGirl78 · 12/06/2024 13:49

Have you tried going to Asda for your glasses? I have complex lenses and get extra funding fron the NHS as need various special things adding to my lens prescription, and even WITHOUT my discounts they'd only be be £45-80 for a new pair of glasses. You don't need to spend £380, even for varifocial supersuper tinted mega thin lenses. If you're as poor as you say then you need to be more savy with your money. You could have bought another 300 inhalers with that money you spent last year.

I was sympathetic with you to "I can't take it in" never mind "I am reeling". Your very good point got overshadowed by the dramatics.

CarolineFields · 12/06/2024 13:49

LaMontser · 12/06/2024 13:42

This is straight from the Jack Monroe school of performative poverty. If your child is now through university why are you still struggling so much? You could probably benefit from some budgeting lessons if things remain so difficult.

Unless of course it’s all nonsense 🙄

most of my post is about the past, raising children on a comfortable income, and making normal sacrifices, and I don't consider myself hard up now, but I was off work for a year with cancer, so obviously that has a knock on effect - but that is not the point though, is it. I am not saying I am poor. I am saying I am normal. But I am outraged at Sunaks idea of "deprived"

OP posts:
WannabeMathematician · 12/06/2024 13:48

I believe you about the glasses. Say you have an astigmatism and a very high/low prescription (say -14), I would expect it to be very expensive. And lots of places won't sell you them online and the NHS voucher is £15.50. I would be happy to be proven wrong though!

CarolineFields · 12/06/2024 13:46

5128gap · 12/06/2024 13:40

If you don't want to play right into the hands of your opposition, you'd be better explaining why on your salary with only one child you can't afford £20 for shoes or a prescription charge more often than once a decade. Are you servicing a lot of debt? Are you living in a very high cost rental area or paying enormous mortgage repayments? Also how you manage the site fees for your camping holidays.
Because much as I agree with highlighting the plight of people living in poverty, and how out if touch RS is, I think all you've done here is confirm the prejudice of many that its exaggerated or due to poor choices, which is something of an own goal.

I think I explained fully, I was a single mother paying childcare and mortgage entirely alone, and obviously amount it costs to be a single mother decreases with age to some extent but shoots up again massively supporting DC at university!

But tbf, my friends in relationships with more children are struggling just as much to pay mortgage and child care between two of them!

I am not saying I am hard up. I have never felt hard up. I am saying I am and have made all the normal sacrifices.

Normal sacrifices!

That Sunak person is claiming that not having Sky Tv is a deprivation!!! that would never have even been a question, it wouldn't have even been on the radar (no criticism to people who choose to have it, I am sure they are cutting back somewhere else)

But seriously, to suggest that this optional luxury, which is such a teeny tiny part of family life, and matters not at all, is a deprivation if you didn't get it?

We don't have netflicks, or anything pay to view- it just would never be a question.

OP posts:
LaMontser · 12/06/2024 13:42

This is straight from the Jack Monroe school of performative poverty. If your child is now through university why are you still struggling so much? You could probably benefit from some budgeting lessons if things remain so difficult.

Unless of course it’s all nonsense 🙄

CarolineFields · 12/06/2024 13:40

WinterMorn · 12/06/2024 13:38

Blimey OP, the drama!

I feel dramatic! honestly! I feel so angry, and so shocked I can hardly express myself

OP posts:
5128gap · 12/06/2024 13:40

If you don't want to play right into the hands of your opposition, you'd be better explaining why on your salary with only one child you can't afford £20 for shoes or a prescription charge more often than once a decade. Are you servicing a lot of debt? Are you living in a very high cost rental area or paying enormous mortgage repayments? Also how you manage the site fees for your camping holidays.
Because much as I agree with highlighting the plight of people living in poverty, and how out if touch RS is, I think all you've done here is confirm the prejudice of many that its exaggerated or due to poor choices, which is something of an own goal.

Justcallmebebes · 12/06/2024 13:39

MotherFeministWoman · 12/06/2024 12:55

Where do people live the bus fare is capped at £2? It certainly isn't in South Wales.

It is throughout the Midlands. Went up to Yorkshire a couple of weeks ago and the same there. Any journey, anywhere is capped at £2

Apparently Arriva were making more from the £2 cap, so the scheme was extended and has been in place a couple of years now

Doesn't Wales have a Labour government?

WinterMorn · 12/06/2024 13:38

Blimey OP, the drama!