Are weddings actually seriously uncool? Naff as anything?

I’ve enjoyed every wedding I’ve beeen to , and most of my circle do get married very traditionally (when in their late 20s and before having kids). I also think in most cultures weddings are a wayyy bigger deal than they are in the U.K. — life changes far more after a wedding than it does here — so people’s focus tends to be more on the marriage than the wedding.

whereas here if you’ve been together for 10 years and already have kids a wedding doesn’t really change anything so people focus more on the material things that lead up to it. If you can’t wait to actually be married then you seek a shorter engagement period. While here people are engaged for 1+ years normally.

Its unheard of in my circles to have kids before marriage too so that focuses people’s minds a bit more.

I was lucky that the two friends who were my bridesmaids had identical brunette bobs 🤭. I had a very traditional wedding but on a budget. I bought the bridesmaids dresses from Debenhams with no pastel satin in sight. I think people just spend money on tat and truly tasteless ideas which is the real problem. We made jokes about things like releasing Doves which was fashionable when we got married but tried to keep things as simple as possible.

@CasperGutman surely they're only "fabulous wonderful occasions" if you like that type of thing and you can actually afford it.
As I say on many of these threads I find most weddings utterly boring - however "cool" they are.
But it's not my money so I don't really care what people choose to do.
(I would still be bored out my mind at most of them though 😂)

I haven't been to a wedding for years. I miss it!

Yes, there was a spell where we had a couple every summer, but I dunno - I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where I wasn't really pleased to be there and had a lot of fun.

Scottish though, and even if you don't know many people there's usually someone's Uncle Dougie and Aunt Jean sitting at your table who turn out to be a great laugh and you all just dance a lot and get pissed.

Who cares if weddings are cool? They're fabulous, wonderful occasions. But the whole point is to make public declarations of commitment and loving emotion and celebrate that.

All that passion is directly opposed to the whole idea of "cool" as a positive thing. The word meant lacking in passion, and the modern use as a term of approval is based on admiration, originally in jazz music, of laid back, controlled, deliberate, apparently dispassionate style.

*like not live

I live dressing up and clothes so I wouldn’t view it as being “ forced” to wear a different outfit… it feels like there are so few occasions ( post Covid) where it’s ok to get glammed up these days- some of us enjoy it…

Wearing different clothes for each wedding is a choice, though. I had a green dress I liked and wore to all weddings for aeons.

Think social media is to blame to making weddings OTT. Plus heard some couples want this and that because a celebrity couple had it in their weddings.

Weddings imo are more stressful for ladies, being forced to wear different clothing for each wedding. Whilst a man could get away wearing the same suit for 4 different weddings - just changing the shirt and/or tie. Man's friend, man's family, OH's friend and OH's family. In these four weddings, the only other person that could potentially attend is their OH.

If you go to a wedding with loads of guests and the couple don't have time to speak to you all, then I believe its pointless having a large group of guests.

Yes the wedding I went to where I went into my room for a few hours, I did manage to speak to the couple - the bride was a team leader at my then employer. I still don't know how work let about 85% of the staff to have a few days off. This was a call centre back office support team.

I do rather agree with the op. I think weddings have become more and more commercialised, creating what some see as a 'need' to have all the matching dressing gowns, slippers, everything with the word 'bride' on it, expensive stag and hen dos lasting multiple days, sometimes abroad and guests wearing clothes and hats they would never wear on any other occasion.

I hate weddings. Find them incredibly boring, especially the bit between the meal and the evening stuff. Don't like wearing smart clothing - don't start on the shoes, as cannot wear heels, strappy things or shoes without any support on ankle/heel. Turned down about 6 weddings due to the shoes. Made some BS excuse which looked more legit than to say "I can't wear pretty shoes".

About 15 years ago, I went to a wedding at a country house in the middle of nowhere and rich groom's family paid for everyone to stay o/n at the 50-55 room hotel for ones that lived miles away (I lived c85 miles away at the time) and taxis for those who lived close. I went into my room and watched whatever was on the tv and slept then came down wearing my trainers, which no one noticed.

Noticed from my friends and family - those who spend the most are more likely to be divorced than a wedding with a few friends.

My parents got married in 1978 and only invited their immediate family. They did have a do with their friends a month later after mum's best friend gave birth to her DS.

Brilliant 👏

The only couple I know who had the low key wedding of your second para….it didn’t last.

I don’t think you can judge the depth and sincerity of a couple’s love by the type of wedding they choose to have.

@comoatoupeira Wedding favours aren't new, traditionally it would have been a bag of sugared almonds. It's an ancient tradition. And I don't think banks and the wedding industry necessarily prey on people, we're all responsible for our own decisions. Admittedly it does take confidence to stand up to some of the worst, e.g. the hard-selling owners of crap bridal boutiques. Other than that, I agree with you.

@Onand being judgemental isn't all that cultured either

One of the nicest weddings I’ve been to was a weekend affair in a country house. It was the week before Christmas, the house had been decorated and the bride and groom asked for Christmas tree decorations as wedding presents.

It all depends on how cultured the Bride and Groom are. The ones with giant lit up LOVE signs, sweets in jars, doves, men all in tan shoes suggest a couple who is having a wedding to fit in, you can tell they have a Pinterest account and search every #makingmemoies and the like for ‘inspo’. Tend to have a small child together or one from a previous relationship wearing converse. Swirly swooshy written seating plans on boards atop of easels, Our special day, a candle shrine for Granny, pic of the bride doing a shot, curled hair when she never ever wears it curled, chairs with bows on. Just horrendous really.

The ones having a registry wedding, a few friends and close family and then a pizza after in February suggest confidence and a love they don’t need to spend £s to affirm. They have nothing to prove or life goal to tick off.

99% of the weddings I've been to have ended in divorce.

Were you shagging the groom on top table at each of them? Seems like a very high divorce rate with you as the only constant!

Yes - he was likely just being polite! How many of us have said that and not really meant it?

She was the bride's cousin 😬

My husbands friend, who had been to many weddings including some Majorly Industrial Weddings eg one where ALL the guests were chauffeured about in Limousines and the meal was Michelin star rated, said that ours was the best wedding he had ever been to!

That's MN wedding thread bingo.

My exH proposed to me on a trip to NY. It was a Saturday night. I didn’t accept straight off as I didn’t want the fuss of a wedding. He suggested that we did it there. So we did. We went to city Hall on Monday morning with our passports and gave notice. I chose a wedding ring that afternoon. We got married on Tuesday and flew home on Wednesday. It was great 😂

We got married in the local register office. I made the invitations and decorations and got a fake bouquet and buttonholes from eBay. I wore a Monsoon dress and did my own makeup. I had one Bridesmaid who wore her own dress. We had a party at home, a buffet in the house and garden which lasted a few hours. My husbands friend, who had been to many weddings including some Majorly Industrial Weddings eg one where ALL the guests were chauffeured about in Limousines and the meal was Michelin star rated, said that ours was the best wedding he had ever been to!