WIBU to cancel holiday?

If you & your partner thought that it would make a nice holiday & that you would just attend the wedding I can almost see how you agreed to it.

But realistically, more than a grand for someone else's wedding would always be a no for me!

I tend to feel sorry for the brides in these situations as it's usually not them behaving badly but the dreadful people they've put in charge. However they picked them so I guess they have to be accountable for that.
Things like nail varnish and bikinis I would take great pleasure in ignoring and wearing what I liked anyway. And if anyone questions it at the time you get the joy of saying directly to them 'is it really an issue?'
I would not take kindly to having the whole week dictated to me. I'd probably expect a few group activities like meals and maybe a spa session to prepare for the wedding hut after that I'd want the remainder of the holiday to myself.
But since you weren't bothered about going anyway I think you've done the right thing to cancel and save yourself the money.
I just think people like this need to be stood up to not cowered away from. They are part of the wedding party, nothing more. They don't get to bully you into doing what they think you should be doing when you've spent your hard earned cash simply to be there.
The cheek is alarming and should be called out.

If someone tried to dictate what my toe nail colour ought to be for non-opened toed shoes, you'd have to physically restrain me from putting my feet to better effect in kicking them repeatedly up the arse. Well done, OP. They sound like people you could never tire of slapping.

Matching toenails is bloody bonkers, I honestly can't imagine trying to micro manage people that carefully just because I'm getting married 😂
Who actually cares if the maid of honours toes match the mother of the bride or whatever?!
Talk about giving yourself stress for the sake of it .
I just wanted my friends and family there, not worry about their toenails lol

well done
go and get your nails painted neon orange to celebrate

(or any vivid colour you fancy, I'm not dictating😎)

No wonder they are struggling for guests. Embarrassing!

Have an extra special day, the day of the wedding.

So the professional muted colour nail polish job wasn’t even for the wedding, it was just for the beach? Where they were also telling you what kind of bikini you were allowed to wear??

Well done for cancelling and blocking, you’ve been so strong and done the right thing! And not lost loads of money in the grand scheme of £4K. No wonder the bride doesn’t have many guests or bridesmaids, I wonder if anyone pulled out before you did

Well done to you. Anyways if you have had blood clots flying to Greece is probably a bit off limits for now. They sound a right bunch! Wonder what the bride and bridegroom to be think of rules about what to wear on beach etc maybe no speedos for men 😂

That's taking Bridezilla-ness to the next level!

No wonder she's struggling for guests! Does she have any actual friends?

And block...

'Matching toenails'.

I've heard it all now.

This bride and family are just setting this wedding up to fail, it’s still 3 months away. Thank goodness you’ve pulled out, I can’t think of anything worse than being told what I can and cannot do.

It also wasn't just nail polish we were told it had to be a professional pedicure.
Also the shoes weren't even open toe

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

oh god these people are too stupid to have in your life @Booklover20

i feel relieved for you

what was the MOH saying to you this past week that was abusive? Who the fuck does she think she is?

I've done similar. For me, the decision to say something or put an end to nonsense has been easy, the tricky thing is trying to stop them from taking head space. I'm still to work this one out.. I find best thing is to get on with my life and keep busy.

'Can we?' is not the same as a demand that 'you must'.
I think op was saying these were a list of demands.
(Not that I'd be a bridesmaid anyway- job for children)

Also the shoes weren't even open toe

That is insane.

@Grah if one of my best friends (hence being a bridesmaid) said can we all use the same nail varnish because we're wearing open toed shoes and can all match in, would that not be unreasonable to refuse?

I can't believe how many people say they'd take issue with that!

Matching toenails isn't an unreasonable request? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
My response to someone telling me what to wear on my nails would be a massive 🖕🤣

Crikey, you’ve dodged a bullet there OP. The whole thing sounds like a friggin nightmare.

This trend for stupidly lavish weddings has to stop. Since when do guests pay so much towards weddings?

All future brides and grooms could learn a lesson here…if you want people to actually go to your wedding, don’t expect them to pay for it (let alone use valuable annual leave etc travel to another country) 🙄

She has! She has! She has!

I think you did the right thing in cancelling, but think you were in the wrong by just sending her a message. To cancel being someone's bridesmaid, whatever the circumstances (which are clearly justified in your case), you should have phoned her or told her in person.

Cancel, cancel, cancel!

Then I'd send a lovely (!) message telling them to stick it and no wonder they struggled to get guests to go 😁

It'll make you feel better ❤️

Good luck when you get your new home.

Why does she have to tell MOB and MOH this though? She's already messaged the bride!

God no! Cancel and get your money back! Life is too short to put up with that crap!