AIBU to think death is expensive.

Thank you for your insight into medical research, I'm glad your fathers wishes were met. My husband has spent many years teaching health care professionals and he would also like to donate his body to medical research so that he can carry on teaching.

It’s also worth noting that cremation has a pretty big carbon footprint (similar to driving 500 miles) it’s because of this that I’m hoping water cremation (alkaline hydrolysis) is more readily available in the UK when I go. It’s much better for the environment and expected to be similar cost to normal cremation.

Ok.
Well they’ll ask, they have to! It’s public funds they can’t just not bother.
But provided you’ve told them in advance and they’ve still paid it. Which should be rare since claims are suspended- then you don’t have to pay it back. Been there, done it. They cannot force you to pay it back. If it’s in an account you cannot access and you don’t physically have the money then nothing happens. They may not even be able to contact you.

They want the money back so aren’t going to imply you cannot pay- obviously.

I'm so sorry about the loss of your dad, Dinoswearunderpants, and quite agree a standard funeral's getting very expensive

That said some of your numbers were a surprise; for example I've never heard - at least in my own area - of being charged a separate fee for each viewing, and it's less than a year since I was last involved in this

I'm wondering if, with so many more now opting for direct cremation post-Covid, they're finding new ways to recoup some of the money?

Typo

My Mum wasn't initially going to do a funeral and Dad was so ill at end wasn't bothered - but in end she was glad she did.

It was an entire month after death which also hadn't expect it to be so long after.

The funeral industry is extremely exploitative - 90% of funeral homes are owned by 2 big conglomerates who tailor their pricing and services to use your grief to suck you dry.

I for one believe that it should be free of charge as it's related to public health. You don't pay to come into this world, why pay to leave it

Not used pre-paid services but my family have used and while an expense not the prices quote here - and family were very pleased with the service they provided.

My ire more for people being informed of the death but not passing it on appropriately been a few upsetting episodes or everyone being so slow to process thing so 3 months after income/outcoming still isn't clear - lucky mum has savings to fall back on.

They were relatively sorted - DMum most running things last few years - I can't get DH to think about this sort of stuff at all.

My dad has just organised me d the direct cremation ones. He has never wanted a funeral, considers them to be a waste of money and stressful for the family. When he goes, his body will be collected and the ashes returned and that's how he wants it!

I loathe funeral plan adverts - they absolutely make me rage, guilt tripping elderly people into not doing anything that might be construed as a burden t their families, all the money grabbing from the kids, dressed up as concern. Theres no way to make this a wholesome happy family bonding moment - those ads are grotesque.

Yep, it really is. My mum passed away last week and we had a meeting yesterday with the funeral directors. They've actually been fantastic and have been very clear about costs and what is included within their quote. Total quote is around £4.6k for a basic coffin, crematorium costs, a car and a hearse, order of service cards and their fees (including pallbearers). My mum also had a plan but there's no way they will pay up in time for her funeral. We'll probably hire a place for a gathering afterwards for afternoon tea with the extra cost for that.

The worst part was that her death was sudden and my siblings and I are having to second guess what she would have wanted. I've since had a conversation with my son about what I'd like when the time comes.

I also thought that wicker coffins would be cheaper but they're twice the price of a regular one!

That's what my dad has done except I think it's a set sum
About 10k and I get anything left

My neighbour has just pre paid for Direct Cremation with the Coop,£1,600.She was told it is becoming more popular.

I think that as soon as you use the word 'funeral' things become much more expensive - in the same way as when you use 'wedding'.

My beloved Mum passed away last year. We had family flowers and donations to charity for others asking. The flowers were one floral cross (my Dad's choice) and one arrangement from my sibling and myself. The cost for the flowers was £300.

My Mum used to be a florist (which is why we wanted some flowers as she loved them) and often did wedding and funeral flowers for people in the 1970s & 80s... she would have been flabbergasted by the cost now!

True enough!
I'm reading this & thinking I need to purchase a Funeral Plan. I'm only 56, & good health but both my YP are ASD & couldn't deal with this easily at all.
ExH wouldn't help & no wider family.
Is the Co-Op the safest bet for quick & helpful payout? I would leave enough cash hopefully but they'd need someone to guide them through even if just a basic cremation.

@Dinoswearunderpants - I’m sorry for your loss.

I am realising this is why you are allowed to have £23k. when the state takes over paying for your care home - let You keep enough to pay for your funeral.

So sorry for your loss, OP.

I agree with you about the expense. It's mad. My mum died a couple of years ago and I was genuinely shocked how much more her funeral cost than my grandparents' did about 20 years earlier. It was something like four times as much.

Very interesting reading

I do want a memorial service in my church and a wake, so will save for those; but thinking of going direct cremation for the actual funeral bit now.

But it's not your debt, it's the estate's. If the money has just been paid to the person who has died it will be in their bank account. If the estate has nothing they can't get it back. There's no consequence to you of not paying it. If you are administering the estate and there are funds and you to use the money for something else then they may have a case.

That's just reminded me, they wrote to me asking for the overpayment back and I never replied. That was November 2019, never heard since but suppose Covid happened.

I don’t understand why you had to pay the dr to certify death - we didn’t.

My relative died recently and although she had money she went for a direct cremation and no wake either. Some of us were upset not to have had an opportunity to celebrate her life with her other family and friends (although some of us did meet up in a pub for a few drinks). I’ll definitely be putting some money aside for a proper funeral if I can.

@Dinoswearunderpants Yes, this is crucial. Also, don't 'rely' on this as a way of avoiding payment. There are many reasons why they cannot accept bodies (cause of death, bank holiday weekend timescales, already enough bodies etc - surprisingly). My Partner did this (preplanned) but it still took a lot of 'processing' for me afterwards.

The Co-op does good prepayment plans, and are very clear about what's included at each price point.

Flowers and orders of service are always extras.

If you pay by instalments, if you die with 12 months from an accident, or after 12 months from any cause, it pays in full (even if you haven't finished paying for it, so that's a form of insurance)

And I don't think the Co-op is likely to go bust. Plan prices from £1350 to £4210.

There have been a lot of chains moving in to the undertaking business (often keeping the previous business name), so always check who owns it. The remaining individual (or 2-3 local branch) firms, often still owned by families, provide excellent service as it's still a vocation for them. But there aren't many left.

It has always been expensive to die. That's why we have had paupers graves and state funding for dealing with deceased people. Also, it was traditionally a huge worry for older people that they had enough put buy to have a decent burial without being a burden.
But it is unreasonable to say that funeral services are a rip off. Compare them to any other professional costs and they in the same region. Any legal cost to get estates sorted, costs in closing accounts, sorting out services, etc etc. It goes on. You are right though that it is expensive and if you are a fixed income it can be a huge burden on the family. There are saving plans that can help with costs.

Dhs DC was under a £1k 18m ago.

Funeral directors are vultures. I despise them. Each and every one of them.
The c*s know they're exploiting people.
And no calling them that is not too strong a word.

As for funerals themselves bringing closure, I think this is pile of horse dung (I've never got closure from them).
Grief doesn't go just because you've had the funeral, closure is just a stupid American concept that things like grief can be over and done with just because x, y and z have happened.

You also have to hope you don't die at Christmas or Easter, as all the schools close for a period and they won't accept bodies.