AIBU to think death is expensive.

Direct cremation cost £1200 when I organised it recently.
My relative was very elderly, our family is very small.
we are going to get together later in the year for a nice meal to remember her.

It can hardly be ordinary cardboard though, can it? Even for a light body it’d have to be seriously heavy duty, never mind for anyone fat.
I’m having visions of a sub-standard cardboard coffin breaking just as they’re carrying it down the aisle of the crem, body falling out. That’d certainly liven things up a bit…😱

We have a low cost service near us. They are remarkable people. They use vans, not hearses, the coffins are cardboard and very cheap. They are so kind. They will take you to gather wild flowers from their field and charge you nothing. They make delicious food and serve it at their home after the funeral. We need more people like this. I am so sorry OP.

So sorry for your loss @smoothieooo .

I've worked as a funeral arranger and the funeral director should liaise direct with the plan provider to get the payment after the funeral. We would contact the provider first to confirm the death and then the provider would let us know how much the plan was worth and what was covered. Anything over and above was paid by the family.

@Dinoswearunderpants If there is no money left in his estate, you should just tell DWP that after his funeral was paid, there was nothing left. YOU are not responsible personally for paying it back. Same goes for any other requests for payment of any kind which may have been due to be paid by him. If there had been a house to sell, then they would have had to wait until it was sold, but you say he hadn't any other assets. You may find that there is some rebates/refunds due to him. I got some refunded to her estate when my Mum died.

BUT do not pay any of his debts from your personal finances. They will write them off if there's no money in his estate

I take it you are the Executor? But yes - very expensive. My Mothers was about £4,800 and it wasn't anything fancy at all

I have no idea, the funeral director just listed everything that was included and I know it was a nice lined coffin, cars, church service, cremation service and sorted the ashes in a box too. Didn’t pay a thing. My Mum only paid £800 for it.

The funeral director did comment how exceptionally good the plan was. It was with a chain of funeral directors rather than an insurance policy.

My mum, Catholic and burial in Northern Ireland, put some money each month into her Credit Union to pay for her funeral, she had all the details and enough money. Abysmally there was no wake after which was disappointing, because my brothers didn't arrange it. We all gathered together for a meal as a family. Will never forget that. She passed away recently and much love to you @Dinoswearunderpants

I'm going for a direct cremation with money for a big monthly shop and a takeaway after. I demand a 🥂 after! I will be dead but memories live on xx

Your age not responsible for your dad's debt. If he had no funds left tell the DWP and don't offer to pay yourself.

I'm so sorry for your loss @Dinoswearunderpants and everyone else who's had to go through this. It makes the loss of a loved one so much worse to cope with.

When my dad passed away 2y ago the itemised bill said
CREMATION
MEDICAL REFEREE
ORGAN & ORGANIST
STREWING
TRIBUTE SCREENS
WEBCASTING
AUDIO CD
AUDIO VISUAL DVD ADVANCE DELIVERY
EXTRA CHAPEL TIME
PALLBEARER
VAT @ 20%

I've no idea what half the things were as we didn't use them!
The total cost was £3,600. And the medical referree's fee (the £82) is because it's illegal to cremate someone on the say-so of just one death certification - there has to be an independent verifier.
The cost of burying his ashes with mum's in the churchyard (and the vicar's additional costs) were also included. They were both regular attendees when well enough, and the church were really helpful.

When my mum passed away (5y before dad) the cremation etc. cost well over £6k. Different (and much worse!) funeral director, same town, same crem, and I still regret I didn't know about the other one back then.

Getting the gravestone re-engraved on the other hand... was a tale and a half. Let's just say that after a year of squabbling about a distressing error (theirs) the stone finally made it back up and I've never received an invoice. And I'm not about to ask about it.

I'm wishing for state-funded body disposal, not sure why that would mean charging for births.

I agree that funerals are for the living. But body disposal is for everyone, that part should be free for all - even if there is someone living to pay for it. The council funds it for under 18s already.

@Dinoswearunderpants my dad donated his body to science. The university cremated him after. I was very young so not sure about the details. I'm guessing the uni also paid for his transfer there? I think you maybe got a small amount of information as to what the person was used for as my mum seems to know a bit.

I had similar after my DH died. I paid it back, but someone told me later than if I hadn’t, they would not have pursued me a second time. Just tell them it’s been spent as his estate was very small, and it all went on the funeral.

They pay the pension in advance so the payment was for the time starting on the 15th - sadly he did not live for the whole of the period they paid it for so they ask for the part back that covered after he died. I had the same problem with my mum but she had hers paid every 3 months and I had to pay back a lot more

There's two types.

Those that are essentially savings vehicles (more parsnips, June?) - where you get the dosh and then use that to pay for the funeral

And those where you choose the sort of service you want and purchase it and its accoutrements at today's prices (either straight up or in instalments) and then when the death occurs you get everything that's been paid for with no further charge. This is the sort where its important that your supplier isn't likely to go bust.

You don’t have to use funeral directors - the only requirement is that you dispose of the body appropriately. You could keep the person at home, buy a DIY coffin, take it to the crematorium in a van or estate car and do the ceremony yourself. If you want a cremation you’d still have to pay the fee for a certificate however (not the medical certificate of death, which is free), and pay the crematorium fee which is usually £8-900.

Most people don’t want to, or feel able to do this themselves however, in which case you’re going to have to pay someone for those bits you can’t do yourself. You don’t have to spend a fortune on the ’wake’, you could do your own flowers, you don’t need limousines as well as the hearse - your choice, but many people prefer to ‘outsource’ these elements.

Of course Funeral Directors are looking to make a profit, why wouldn’t they? So is your builder, hairdresser, gardener or accountant. But think about a few things: they have to have premises with cold storage, 24 hour access, and special waste disposal. They need to staff those premises and have staff on call 24 hours a day. You don’t want to ring up and hear ‘please ring back at 9 am’ if someone has died in the night.

Hearses are big expensive vehicles, yes they don’t have to be but it’s what most people expect. They need insurance and maintenance, as do the limos. Similarly, it’s not necessary for the staff to wear tailcoats, top hats etc but it’s what a lot of people expect to see; the uniforms aren’t cheap. It’s not a cheap business to run. Funeral industry staff are often on minimum wage - so yes, the big organisations have taken over, But that’s happened in many other industries. There are quite a lot of small independent funeral directors but they won’t necessarily be cheaper.

I’m not a funeral director by the way, but work in the industry.

YANBU. I’ve literally just come back from
booking my Dad’s funeral - god how I hate typing those words. It’s a little over £4000 even with just the very basics. Sorry for your loss OP. It’s so hard isn’t it?

How much was the cover for?! My mums was £3,500 but that barely covered the coffin!

The only upside to having both parents die in lockdowns 1&2 was the funeral bill was less that £6000 combined.

Careful what you wish for - the NHS is free at the point of use, but maternity services are very very expensive the world over. Approx $30k to have a baby in a hospital if you don't have medical insurance....

There are still paupers funerals available if no one can or wants to pay.

Funerals are for the living not the dead.

My mum died last year and had a £3,500 "funeral plan fund" (probably same as you OP - one of these Sunlife over 50 ones). I ended up having to contribute about £6k to have a full funeral - Oak coffin, cars, church, flowers, burial (plot and gravestone), wake (location, food and drink)... Total came to around £10k.

I don’t know how costs compare now for funeral plans but my mum had one and it saved us a fortune. Purchased over 20 years ago for £800, she died a couple of years ago and we paid nothing to the funeral directors. The plan included all the minor details of what she wanted, such as coffin type, flowers etc, so we didn’t have to make any decisions either. We had a church service, cars and cremation all included. All we had to pay for was the wake.

A word of warning about credit cards, my husband and I had joint bank accounts and I assumed that my credit card was mine and independent of his. However, I found out, that on his death, it was no longer valid as it was his name only on the credit card account.

Info on the Co-op

Funeral Plans - Pre-paid Funeral Plans - Co-op Funeralcare (coop.co.uk)

It's not a payout to you. You're tied in to their (own or partner) funeral directors and they provide the services covered in the plan.

Depending on which plan, you might have to pay third-party fees (officiant, crem/burial fees) or third-party fees above a specified ceiling, but there are no further charges on the items in the plan (eg coffin, cars, and for the more expensive plans all third-party fees). They don't cover printing of orders of service, flowers or a burial plot (if the person chooses internment) but can probably help the bereaved to arrange those.

That's when it's worth buying a pre-paid funeral plan, ie when you go into a care home. That way your relatives can keep the full £23k and it can't be classed as deprivation of assets.

We are going down the direct cremation route. Our parish priest will do a funeral with the ashes.