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AIBU?

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Original poster

Bit out of order?

221 replies

parentfodder · 12/06/2024 08:47

We have arranged to go see pil on Father's Day. We live an hour away.

Sil messaged to say she is planning to take pil out for a meal on Father's Day so let her know if we want to come. So basically we either go out for a meal or leave when they do?

Given pil had already arranged to see us I feel they shouldn't have accepted sils offer as they had plans. We will get there 11ish and I think they will do a late lunch so 2/3ish. We had intended to stay until 4ish.

OP posts:
CracklingLogsGalore · 16/06/2024 17:03

Your attitude stinks of huffiness. “Well fine then, we’ll only go a for a couple of hours and then they’ll have to wait til they see us the next month, see how they like that!”

I can’t abide huffy people.

AngelicPeace · 16/06/2024 17:02

OP, where is your dad?

Mine sadly died when I was 12.

Original poster
parentfodder · 16/06/2024 15:43

@Frasers no there's been a lot of concern sil wasn't going to see her dad despite explaining she is spending the whole day with them.
Also lots of concern about pil making sandwiches despite explaining they would be doing that if no one was there or if sil and bil were there

OP posts:
Frasers · 16/06/2024 15:36

parentfodder · 16/06/2024 15:35

Sil spent all day with her daddont worry

Show quote history

Are you jealous??

Original poster
parentfodder · 16/06/2024 15:35

Mimimimi1234 · 16/06/2024 13:32

Well the day isn't about you. Just go for a couple of hours and either go for lunch or go home I don't see why you have an issue. I would be thinking, oh how lovely SIL is taking her dad out for lunch, that's nice of her.

Sil spent all day with her daddont worry

OP posts:
Frasers · 16/06/2024 13:58

Poddledoddle · 16/06/2024 13:52

Yes I agree. They arranged for you to visit, they should stick to that arrangement, or go out once you have left. Find it odd people questioning what you expected to eat, clearly at your pil. And the suggestions for you to go out with her for the lunch, is not the point.

Absolutely as Father’s Day really should be all about the op.

Confused
Poddledoddle · 16/06/2024 13:52

Yes I agree. They arranged for you to visit, they should stick to that arrangement, or go out once you have left. Find it odd people questioning what you expected to eat, clearly at your pil. And the suggestions for you to go out with her for the lunch, is not the point.

Hazyjaneishere · 16/06/2024 13:50

Go out for lunch, problem solved. Bit selfish to expect him to do what suits you - it’s FATHERS day not daughter in laws day! Also his daughter wants to see her dad?! Give your head a wobble.

Mimimimi1234 · 16/06/2024 13:32

Well the day isn't about you. Just go for a couple of hours and either go for lunch or go home I don't see why you have an issue. I would be thinking, oh how lovely SIL is taking her dad out for lunch, that's nice of her.

Frasers · 16/06/2024 13:31

parentfodder · 12/06/2024 15:17

@Maddy70

If some of the people can not attend because of a disability it's not inclusive

It's a small quibble but our plans were inclusive for everyone. Sils plan means our children and by proxy us can't attend.

Including and inclusive are not the same.

Well it is inclusive. You just don’t want to risk it. But absolutely you could have worked it so you could have went,or your husband could. Ya know as it’s his dad.

Penguinfeet24 · 16/06/2024 13:11

I think it's your father in laws day so he gets to choose what he wants to do. I also wouldn't expect them to feed you today, regardless of clearing up or not. Go see him for an hour around his meal, job done.

Original poster
parentfodder · 16/06/2024 12:38

DoreenonTill8 · 16/06/2024 11:30

Other than that all is well? Hope you all have a good day!

Yes it's all good sil and bil are great. My previous slightly sarky comment wasn't about them they are lovely. It was more aimed at the posters claiming sils a saint and I'm selfish 😂

I guess a lot of people don't have ils who insist on being hosts.

OP posts:
fieldsofbutterflies · 16/06/2024 12:27

Allyliz · 16/06/2024 12:13

How lovely that your sil has included you in the father's day outing, I'm sure it will be much more enjoyable than sandwiches for you all and still no clearing up to do. Stop being so negative and see the bright side of things

RTFT Hmm

fieldsofbutterflies · 16/06/2024 12:26

AgileMentor · 16/06/2024 08:16

Have I missed something? What have the dogs got to do with this?

Dogs can't be left at home all day so go to the IL's with them. They can't take the dogs and the SEN children out for lunch so have no choice but to go back home instead of joining in with SIL's plans.

Allyliz · 16/06/2024 12:13

How lovely that your sil has included you in the father's day outing, I'm sure it will be much more enjoyable than sandwiches for you all and still no clearing up to do. Stop being so negative and see the bright side of things

DoreenonTill8 · 16/06/2024 11:30

Other than that all is well? Hope you all have a good day!

Original poster
parentfodder · 16/06/2024 10:57

InWalksBarberalla · 16/06/2024 10:09

Has it been confirmed that the meal out is a lunch and not a dinner??

We are here now. They are going out at 2. Mil had sarnies ready for arrival including for bil and sil. Who despite being child free and living a couple doors away didn't offer to help. But I have cleaned up and loaded dishes. Setting off for walk.

OP posts:
InWalksBarberalla · 16/06/2024 10:09

Has it been confirmed that the meal out is a lunch and not a dinner??

Nanny0gg · 16/06/2024 10:02

parentfodder · 12/06/2024 09:38

Usually when we visit they cook or provide sandwiches etc but we clean up (regardless of day)

I don't think that's on on Father's Day

I would expect you take food to eat or you go out

Maybe that's why SiL has suggested it - doesn't want them catering on FD

Daisyblue77 · 16/06/2024 10:01

You are being selfish. Im sure your fil would
much rather go out to lunch that spend 5 hours at home , with kids and your dogs and have to provide lunch as well, just because you planned to stay 5 hours , which i think is a long time for a visit doing nothing special doesnt mean everyone else has to agree . You are not the most important person here

Original poster
parentfodder · 16/06/2024 10:00

Racheyrose · 16/06/2024 09:49

Sorry - new to mumsnet! Wrong post 😂😂😂

😂 I've seen the post I agree

OP posts:
Racheyrose · 16/06/2024 09:49

Sorry - new to mumsnet! Wrong post 😂😂😂

Racheyrose · 16/06/2024 09:48

You sound insane to be honest. Ive never been to a party where we’ve been discouraged to stay, but would never drop off my daughters at a 3 hour party at a house of someone I didn’t know. Very different to childcare with vetted and qualified staff.

This party sounds like it’ll be a shambles 😂. If I had received that response from you I would have probs screenshot and sent to the other mums and asked if it was personal or if no one could attend which may explain the delayed response….

Kateeeeuyyy · 16/06/2024 08:37

DoreenonTill8 · 16/06/2024 08:32

That's an odd take on @HeHeHeDidIt posy?
I read it as as it's fathers day, the day should be on making it nice for the Pil?

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Her exact words were :

’I also have SEN DC, and a dog, no way would I land on DP for that amount of time’

DoreenonTill8 · 16/06/2024 08:32

Kateeeeuyyy · 16/06/2024 08:26

How sad for your children that you feel that way. I hope their grandparents don’t see them as a burden either.

Show quote history

That's an odd take on @HeHeHeDidIt posy?
I read it as as it's fathers day, the day should be on making it nice for the Pil?

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