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AIBU?

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Original poster

Not having intercourse

85 replies

serenajoe · 12/06/2024 07:00

I am currently pregnant and this first trimester has been very hard. I don't think my husband understands how hard this is for me. Some days after work I have to force myself to shower and then I'm jumping in bed before 6pm. I'm sick all the time puking multiple times a day. Even though I'm not feeling well he still wants intercourse and feel guilty when I say I can't right now. He's a kisser and wants to throw in tongue and y'all I simply can not. I don't know what to do. I have been explaining to him for the past 5 weeks that I just don't feel up to it yet he continues to bring it up. We can't cuddle for 10 minutes without him trying to jump my bones and I understand that he's a man but right now it's so hard trying to have intercourse without trying to vomit . Oral is simply out of the question right now because everything makes me gag. I'm really trying to keep him happy but I'm so miserable right now. I don't know what else to do

OP posts:
Original poster
serenajoe · 12/06/2024 07:14

MyKidsAreTooNoisy · 12/06/2024 07:09

YANBU.

Have you tried to explain to him at a time when he is not horny and pestering you so his mindset might be more understanding?

PS not seen the word ‘intercourse’ for a long time so you get some bonus points 🤣

Yes I've tried and his mood changes if I tell him not right now. It sucks because I'm really trying to keep him happy and satisfied but I have to put myself first right now.

Haha 🤣 I tried to censor some words

OP posts:
PerfectTravelTote · 12/06/2024 07:14

"I'm really trying to keep him happy...."

Is he really trying to keep you happy?

Original poster
serenajoe · 12/06/2024 07:11

AhBiscuits · 12/06/2024 07:08

Urgh. Men are gross.
I think sit him down and have a proper conversation about it. Make it very clear that he needs to back off and you'll come to him when you are up for it.
He's also going to be one of those men pressuring you for sex weeks after giving birth. I'd lay down the law on that now too so he's prepared.

I plan on talking to him again and I honestly hope he understands. Praying for better days because right now I'm struggling.

OP posts:
whitebreadjamsandwich · 12/06/2024 07:11

I'd be inclined to let him kiss how he wants and then vomit in his lap, since he doesn't seem to want to hear what you're saying

keylimedog · 12/06/2024 07:11

Screw trying to keep him happy! Your priority should be you, especially with what sounds like a tough time.

Is he seeing you vomit multiple times a day and still pestering you for sex?! That's disgusting! Is he looking after you at all?

arethereanyleftatall · 12/06/2024 07:10

You NEVER have to have sex if you don't want to. Not even if 'he's a man so he needs it.' No he doesn't. You need some love, understanding and respect from him though op, which he is not giving. Having sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with you, is rape. It doesn't have to be violent to be rape.

MyKidsAreTooNoisy · 12/06/2024 07:09

YANBU.

Have you tried to explain to him at a time when he is not horny and pestering you so his mindset might be more understanding?

PS not seen the word ‘intercourse’ for a long time so you get some bonus points 🤣

AhBiscuits · 12/06/2024 07:08

Urgh. Men are gross.
I think sit him down and have a proper conversation about it. Make it very clear that he needs to back off and you'll come to him when you are up for it.
He's also going to be one of those men pressuring you for sex weeks after giving birth. I'd lay down the law on that now too so he's prepared.

Original poster
serenajoe · 12/06/2024 07:07

CountryMumof4 · 12/06/2024 07:05

Sending big hugs. Morning sickness can feel relentless - hopefully it'll start to ease off soon. Your husband needs to wind his neck in - if you don't feel up for sex, you don't need to and shouldn't feel pressured into having it. He needs to respect your feelings and instead focus on making sure you're ok. Just tell him it's firmly off the cards (in all forms) until this stage is past, and that he'll have to wait until you feel ready. He sounds like he's being an absolute prat about it.

Thank you so much I'm really hoping things get better soon❤️

OP posts:
CountryMumof4 · 12/06/2024 07:05

Sending big hugs. Morning sickness can feel relentless - hopefully it'll start to ease off soon. Your husband needs to wind his neck in - if you don't feel up for sex, you don't need to and shouldn't feel pressured into having it. He needs to respect your feelings and instead focus on making sure you're ok. Just tell him it's firmly off the cards (in all forms) until this stage is past, and that he'll have to wait until you feel ready. He sounds like he's being an absolute prat about it.