Not having intercourse

What everyone else said.

You could also take the low road and vomit on him…

Seriously though, I cannot believe that he is pestering you for sex when you are this sick. Men like your “D”H are the reason OBGYNs often like the husband to be in the room when they give the “no sex before the 6 week check” chat.

Oh OP, you've been so brainwashed by him (or by the patriarchal society) to think your needs don't matter and as a female you're there to be his sex slave and attend to his every need. What happened to you to make you think in 2024 that this is what a woman is? He has a right hand, I presume? He can use it. He sounds like a sex pest! Many women don't feel like sex for a year or so after the birth, if he can't cope now, how is he going to cope then? Or if your baby/toddler is sleeping in the bed with you both? Christ he is beyond delusional and clearly not prepared at all for fatherhood.

You have said multiple times that you "are trying to keep him happy".

That's not how it should work.
Presumably both of you have mutually agreed to become parents
You are growing a new life inside you, with all that means for your body.
He should be doing everything he possibly can to support you, make life as easy as possible and make you feel as good as possible.

Pestering for sex and ignoring the effects of pregnancy on you (sickness, tiredness etc) is unacceptable & shows him to be a selfish, self centred, thoughtless man & makes him deeply unattractive.
If you don't have sex until the baby is born and 3 or 6 or 12 or whatever months old he should still NEVER pester you - only you can perform this miracle of creating a new life, he can't.

@serenajoe what @OpenRoadYeehaw said …

Yes and very sad.
I'm sorry for the OP, pregnant as well!
I'm child free, stopped having sex at 42
because I don't fancy it anymore and my husband hasn't pressured or sulked once.
He IS three decades older, however, very healthy.
This is sick.

Why is him being happy more important than you being happy?

@serenajoe op what do you mean you hope he understands? What will happen if he doesn’t???

You’re falling all over yourself trying to keep him happy. What’s he doing for you? Fuck all by the sound of it.

Unless he's got learning disabilities there's absolutely no chance that he doesn't get how "annoying" it is. He gets it. He knows. He just wants sex and feels it's acceptable that his sexual desire comes before your choice, comfort and preferences.

(The learning disability thing isn't intended as a slight on those with LD, btw. I genuinely mean that unless he's got something that literally effects his understanding of very very basic interaction, he knows)

Icky rapey behaviour.

He needs a dose of reality!

Firstly, if a partner isn’t in the mood for any reason at any time then that’s it. Being sulky is unacceptable.

secondly, he needs to realise that sulking, or manipulation is a massive turn off. It’s likely to make you want sex even less.

He needs to get used to changes in your sex life. You may (or may not!) feel more up for it later in pregnancy, but post partum you won’t be able to.

when you have a baby or child, sex often becomes less of a priority. Tiredness and even finding an appropriate time can be difficult. Or mums can feel “touched out” or exhausted. He needs to accept this and not get moody about it.

Whatever you do, keep your job, earning power and financial independence after you have your baby.

With a H like that, there's a good chance you are going to need it. Children tear wide open any cracks in relationships. They expose people's true natures and you see who steps up to do their share and support their partner, and who continues to prioritise themself.

Keep your job. Keep your financial independence. You may need it.

Op please also get yourself some counseling to help you get more in touch with your own needs and being assertive about them

You both should only be thinking about your need for rest right now not his desire to get his willy wet

Are you a people pleaser and do you usually put his needs above your own but now you can't?
I was just listening to the my thriving child podcast about coparenting with a narcissist and she explains about how this dynamic can begin at pregnancy when they stop being the centre of your world.

PLEASE talk to your midwife about this at your booking appointment - she will have lots of support and advice for you

Wow, an entire thread dedicated to Billy Big Balls who can’t possibly stop pestering his very unwell, pregnant wife to get himself off.

OP, you’re tying yourself in knots to provide this giant man baby with sex on tap. How realistic do you think that will be once you have an actual baby to look after?

It’s not your JOB to have sex with him. You aren’t slacking. He sounds a complete twat and I would be suspicious he will only get worse. He will expect you to do everything, clean and have sex with him and sulk if you don’t.
I would be tempted to shag him and puke on him but my vagina would be clamped shut die to his behaviour so I couldn’t

Get him a fleshlight . Apparently, widely used in British Army.

He wants to Kiss you, when your being sick yuk.

... his mood changes if I tell him not right now

Good luck with that when you're tired and sore with a newborn, OP

You really shouldn't need to be explaining these things to him, but when you feel up to it I agree a proper sit down chat's in order - and hopefully he'll come to his senses

This is pure entitlement. He cannot see beyond his own needs. He doesn't see you as a person. He most likely doesn't have the skills like empathy and is immature.
I'd advise he gets counselling. However I would add it does need to be the right kind of therapist. A apsat with the new model of trauma/codepency would help.

Op read why does he do that by lundy bancroft. See if you can identify more abusive behaviors he shows. You more aware and educated you are the more you're able to set boundaries and advocate for yourself.

I'd also reccomend reading up on omar minwhallas integrity abuse.

I counsel sex addicts. Part of recovery is unlearning their entitlement to sex. Learning their body actually doesn't need it. It's a want. For these men(its mostly men) masturbation is off the table as that's too closely linked to triggers and addiction. Often sex is off the tables due to trauma they have caused their spouse or a whole host of reasons. It can be years and they don't orgasm. Nothing happens. They don't explode they don't suffer swelling or pain. The body just reabsorbs the sperm. They realise oh I genuinely believed I had to have sex or masturbate I've always been told I should(locker room chat)

What I'm saying is in many regards(not all obviously) women and men are the same. We can not excuse this entitlement because thats purely what it is. Men are not more sexual or more visual or less able to have sexual discipline. They do however have to actually want to treat others with kindness and respect. The fact that currently your partner doesn't want to treat you that way is a big red flag that he needs to address or the relationship doesn't continue. This won't get better on its own. He will have to put in the work to change these views and ways.

What I also see in that treating you this way makes it highly likely he will also treat his child in a similar manner. Seeing them as an extension of himself their needs will never come first.

I know that. What I mean is you only have to be on MN a while to see there are people complaining in every direction. No sex, too much sex, feeling terrible during pregnancy, feeling ridiculous horny during pregnancy. None of these thing are a problem in isolation but when partners are mismatched.

I think sex education should spend less time going on about the physics of sex and actually educate both boys and girls about these realities of pregnancy. If boys/men actually understood consent and that yes you might well be going a year or two without sex, they might be better people and make better choices, including not having children. Too much time is spent teaching people how to have sex and not why to avoid having sex if you are not mature enough to deal with the consequences!

This man is pressuring a pregnant woman who is vomiting all the time to give him a blow job Wtf??? WTF? This is sexual harassment and abusive. I'm actually very worried for you. You're going to be one of those women forced to have sex 2 days after birth. How are you putting up with this so early on?

I'm pregnant. I've had a terrible pregnancy. 12 weeks of nausea, PGP from week 15, I'm 28 weeks now and can barely walk. We've had sex 3 times, it's too uncomfortable. My DH has done nothing but cuddle me, hug me, reassure me and take care of me. No pressure whatsoever. That's what a loving man does. I'm not a hole for his entertainment.

I actually find your post disturbing.