Social media sayings that can fuck off and die

Not a saying but the exaggerated hands fingers lips gestures/movements.

Didn't Kevin Hart start that years ago in one of his stand ups and people just jumped on it?

Ewwww. And then they turn to the side and kick their foot out behind them to show off the shoes. It’s supposed to be cute. Yuck

Anything with 'hashtag'

My 8 year old and her friends have started saying hashtag, with the 2 fingers crossed gesture a million time a day

'Mummy, that is just hashtag so silly'
'Mummy you must be hashing joking

And 'Slay' as in 'I am going to Slay that test/race etc'

"This is your sign to..." buy our knickers / subscribe to my account / book a holiday through this affiliate link etc. is currently grinding my gears.

It's not a mystical sign, it's a bloody advert FGS

"I'm not gonna lie ... " Instant rage

The tapping long finger nails on a product makes me scream fuck off at the nearest inanimate object but worse for me is the infuriating laughter over long clips, I don't need to hear someone else laughing to figure out whether it's funny or not.

Especially cats, documenting their captivity 😂

I'm mostly on Twitter and the ones that particularly irk me on there are:

"I don't know who needs to hear this, but..."
Don't fucking say it, then

"OK, so we need to talk about..."
No we don't, you patronising tit

"You win the internet for today"
Glad you found it funny, mate, but just clicking Like would be enough

When it comes to Instagram and YouTube, I'm invariably irritated by:

People who aren't American saying 'thrifted' instead of 'second-hand' and 'drugstore brands' instead of 'high street' or 'pharmacy' brands
Fabrics or leather being described as 'buttery soft'
'Price point'
'Colour-way'
Expressing approval by saying 'I'm not mad about it'

“This hits different” and videos where someone just reacts to another person’s content without saying anything.

JudgeJ · Today 11:41

Not quite the same but whenever I see coworker written all I can hear is Mooooooooo, surely it should be written co-worker.

Yes, that is a particular dislike of mine, too. I often ask,

"What's orking and why do cows need it doing to them?"

I've never once had an answer......

HoHoHoliday · Today 11:29

And not a saying, but I loathe the posing facial expressions and body poses that everyone seems to adopt in photos these days. It usually makes you look constipated.

Bum back, chest out and lips inflated to 45 psi, you mean?

say it with your whole chest

What's 'haul' in this context? Visions of those strong men pulling massive trucks with a rope in their teeth that were on TV years ago!

I agree. The nurse during the Pandemic sat awkwardly with me.

The word 'aesthetic' is so overused. Things are described as being 'so aesthetic', as are clothing styles/looks/outfits and people's houses. Oh, and 'core' being stuck on the end of every word when it comes to said clothes or interior design.

The million and one labels people stick on themselves. I don't need to know what you identify as, your (made up) sexual orientation or how many disorders/mental health issues you think you have. It doesn't make you interesting. (Also all the random flags people stick in their profile pics.) It's like a hobby to collect labels. 🙄 'Autigender' is the worst. 🙄

Also not social media, but when you want to buy something and there's a million descriptive words in the title, some very tenuously linked.

say it louder for the people at the back

All of them!

It's an incredibly bizarre way for people to live their lives.

I always liken it to sticking something in your window. Imagine 50 years ago someone writing inane shite like what they had for dinner or some naff slogan and putting it up in the front room windows. You'd have been carted off!

Not quite the same but whenever I see coworker written all I can hear is Mooooooooo, surely it should be written co-worker.

😁

Another thing that fucks me off and which I find bizarre is people sitting in their cars crying over their mental health.

I know this may be controversial but I have a severe anxiety disorder so I fully understand all about mental health. But to sit there , in your motor , taking a video of yourself to me is odd. And to then post it to Facebook or wherever..

Another one for me is on Facebook is people checking into A and E and also posting pics of drips/ cannulas or whatever is on their body.
Like WTF

Surely if you’re that poorly you aren’t doing shit like that. Baffling .

Thank God it's not just me, I can't fathom any of this twaddle.
In the pub quiz we often get questions about those vacuous people in reality TV programmes and so on, I consider it to be a body of knowledge I'm glad I don't have and it's the same here.

When you join a group on fb it prompts you to do this, people probably don't realise it's optional

@CantDealwithChristmas thanks for that, I do tend to see it more in fashion mags or weekend supplements so thought it would be along those lines but it makes me shake my head when I read it.

I think a lot of these things on SM just show how unimaginative some people can be as we're getting fed up with seeing and hearing the same thing repeatedly but I came of FB, only have a burner account on insta for being able to see what a neighbour was up to! I think it's good to tailor a feed to something that, as Marie Kondo would say, 'sparks joy' rather than brings you down or annoys you but that's how these things manipulate us into using them and constantly scrolling!

I’ve thought of another pet peeve… (other than “Pet Peeve” itself, that is…)
People using everyday parenthood to make themselves look like fucking superheroes, matyrs or goddesses. It’s like they’re the first people in history to have kids.
Oooooh and matchy-matchy beige-dressed kids in beige bedrooms with designer-brand baby and kid stuff like Tiffany pacifiers, Gucci pram, Balenciaga sneakers, etc. These poor little like-baits are usually given awful names like Oceania, Infinidee, Rocket or Breeze….. They’re all going to be needing counselling before their teens thanks to the constant intrusion.

Probably already posted but 'having a cheeky'... breakfast/meal/drink... Ffs why is it cheeky and if it is, why post it on Social Media? Also 'Unrecognisable' with a picture of a celeb aged 2 and then aged 50!?! No shit Sherlock 🙄