To be annoyed that my sister wants me to change my hair for her wedding.

YANBU. I was maid of honour for my SIL and I told her I wanted to do my own hair the day of the wedding, she knew I have a huge issue with not trusting hairdressers and hating the way they dry my hair. For my own wedding 4 months before, I’d done my own hair and I had my nails done while my 3 bridesmaids had their hair done. She was one of those bridesmaids.

I hated my bridesmaid dress. It was horrible clingy material, the top half wasn’t a corset style but still had the bone things that a corset would have, and it was miles too big for me and made my boobs look massive because the dress itself kind of stuck out due to the boning inside it. She made me get my hair washed and dried at the hairdresser and I absolutely hated the way they dried it - my hair was just above shoulder length at the time and wasn’t exactly a bob, and it had layers etc, but they dried it all curled under and curled the fringe under which I absolutely detest, and I was utterly miserable all day and haven’t even been able to look at photos of me from that day. They are going through a divorce now anyway so at least the photos won’t be on Facebook on their anniversary every Christmas like they have been 😂

I wish I’d put my foot down and said I wasn’t having my hair done at the hairdresser. I would now. I never even used to see anyone after a haircut because of the way hairdressers dry my hair- I used to drive straight home, go straight to wash and dry it myself before even letting my own DH see it, that’s how much I hated it (I finally have a hairdresser who does it the way I like it)

My point is, don’t let anyone else tell you how to have your appearance or you’ll be miserable on the day. Nobody else should be telling you how to have your hair. There’s nothing worse than being miserable wit h how you look.

So you select bridesmaids for aesthetics, not because you love them.

Sounds like the very definition of shallow to me.

You’re her sister, not a photo prop. Politely decline being a bridesmaid if this is the condition.

Forget Piper and Leo, you need to channel Rose McGowan. It was in her contract that she couldn't dye her hair and that's why she did it every single season.

In the real world - at least the part I live in - I’m pretty sure everyone would agree with this.

people on here are either 1) lying to themselves 2) lying because it makes them
feel good 3) all have brightly coloured hair 4) looking for a bun fight

I don’t need to dictate it in this case - it’s extremely clear from the OP and everything OP is saying. She’s being very vocal about her crippling self esteem
issues and needs to seek help.

btw, getting therapy is also not some sort of insult - why do you think it is? Therapy is an excellent tool to help people solve issues in their life.

Shallow and low self-esteem is when you define yourself by how you look.

If I want my wedding to look nice and “normal” then it’s my right to choose friends/family who look the part and do not stand out like a neon light. I also would t choose anyone with tattoos or shaven head. I want NORMAL.

@Coldsore stop dictating that people need help because they've chosen cosmetic surgery or unnatural hair colour.

Your strong reaction about not being friends with such people is very odd and very shalllow.

Yet you decide they need therapy !

It’s completely fine to have preferences on types of people you would get on with, based on the relationship between stereotypes of looks and not.

im unlikely to want to be friends with someone who has had blow up doll style cosmetic surgery.

tbh if that makes me shallow, im totally fine with that! 😃 shallow isn’t some horrendous insult and im able to acknowledge and be honest.

i still don’t think OP should change her hair though

@PiperLeo

That's what my husband said 🤔

I was just thinking who the fuck cares about your husband's opinion. Then I noticed you were the OP 🤦‍♀️🤣

Red is probably the most reasonable BRIGHT colour you could dye it.

Although I think blue is ridiculous for that type of wedding and I've been blue pink purple etc.

@Coldsore anyone else need therapy?

Hands @Coldsore a mirror!

@Coldsore other peoples hair "not being to your personal taste", so you wouldn't choose them is the epitome of shallow.

How is that shallow? It’s to do with their personality, rather than their looks

I’m not shallow - I’m just massively put off by people who need to make their hair their personality/bright hair colours. I don’t like it. Same with blow up doll lips and over the top make up - anything overly unnatural. It’s not to my personal taste.

I am not character assassinating the OP I think she needs some therapy.

I wouldn't change my hair colour for a wedding. I don't feel like myself when I go to my real colour.

I wouldn’t be good friends with someone who made their hair their personality. I would find it extremely tiresome to be friends with someone so insecure, yes!

Shallow

I wouldn’t be good friends with someone who made their hair their personality. I would find it extremely tiresome to be friends with someone so insecure, yes!

Because I would want my bridal party to look normal? 🤷‍♀️

Why would you base your choice of bridesmaid on their physical appearance rather than their relationship with you?

Why would you base your choice of bridesmaid on their physical appearance rather than their relationship with you?

Why would you base your choice of bridesmaid on their physical appearance rather than their relationship with you?

Personally I wouldn’t have asked you to be bridesmaid to avoid this very situation.

More thanks

I'll pass on the skin cancer and being bridesmaid.

OP - throw it back in her court. I am not changing my hair but if you want me to stand down as bridesmaid that's OK. Which do you prefer?

Spot on.