To be annoyed that my sister wants me to change my hair for her wedding.

My friend A and her best friend B got married within a month of each other. They were each others bridesmaids. A got married first. B genuinely tried getting A to grow and dye her hair for A's own wedding so she'd "look better" for B's wedding photos 😂😂😂😂 Some people are just like that. It's weird.

But YANBU to not want to change your hair colour for someone else's wedding. I'm a bit sad for you that you say you'll probably be toning it down just to keep the peace.

OP, please don't change yourself in any way to make your sister happy. Tell her the hair is staying, you won't be dying it/wearing a wig and if she'd rather you stepped down as BM then you'll do that. Make it her decision

You nasty piece of work, do you feel better for kicking OP like that?

Wow. So everyone who doesn’t have regulation blonde/brown/mouse hair is an “attention seeker who has yet to grow up”?

You sound like a barrel of laughs…

Honestly I would keep my hair as it is - you are not responsible for your sister's response to that, she is choosing to take it as a personal insult.

It's just hair, she needs to think of the bigger picture of having a sister she can ask and that the important bit is she is getting Married not having a Wedding she can just post "perfect" pictures of.

Why can't she just love you the way you are?

I love it when the Bridezillas turn up... if anyone is attention seeking it's the one that will be wearing the white dress, not you.

OP, if she's insisting that you're a bridesmaid when you sound like you could probably do without it, then she gets you, not an airbrushed fantasy version of you to fit in with her dream vision.

Tell her that you understand that her wedding day is the biggest thing that's ever happened to her, and you love that for her, but you won't be changing who you are in order to fit in with that. Hair colour included. If she would like you to take another role that enables a bright red haired woman to do it, then tell her to name it.

I have little patience with wedding related theatrics, it's the ultimate self indulgence.

You could suggest to the bride that the bridesmaids wear some sort of hat - maybe that would tone things down enough for her. I wouldn’t allow her to dictate a change of hair colour, and I’d be happy to stand down as bridesmaid if she insisted.

She’s taking Bridezilla to another level. I’d tell her that if she insists on you being a bridesmaid then she has to accept you as you are. Dictating a major change to someone’s appearance because it doesn’t fit in with your ideal wedding is batshit.

Wow! What a lovely person you sound 🙄
OP I wouldn't tone down my hair, that's just typical sibling nonsense

I didn’t know what my own sisters wore to my wedding before they turned up! Told them to dress comfortably and what I was wearing to get an idea of the dress level. They choose dainty tea dresses at the polar opposite of my choice, we stood together in photos and up the aisle and it was all perfectly lovely with us each being ourselves. My other bridesmaids was the most heavily pregnant bridesmaid ever and resorted to leggings and a dress that became a tunic 😂
My memories of the day over 20 years on are warm and happy. The photos aren’t like a fairy tale, but a wonderful snapshot in time of us.

You think the op is an attention seeker and not grown up, and all because she has brightly coloured hair? Wow. I'd say that I hope you're not someone I know as I'd hate to be invited to your wedding, but I don't actually socialise with mean people so I suppose there's no fear of that thankfully. Oh and for the record my hair isn't dyed any colour at all, let alone bright , just brunette 😎 just so you can accurately insult me on my hair too 🤣

Haha so having red hair is "attention seeking"? What a load of nonsense

This, tell her to sod off and accept you as you are, hair colour and all. If you do go for a wig try Shein, I bought some clip in hair extensions from them for a wedding as I was having an up do and needed more oomph, they were amazing and you couldn’t tell they weren’t human hair.

It would be fun trying on different wigs, I love a good old fancy dress party, any excuse for a dress up 😜

How on earth is not wanting to dye your hair a different colour to suit the bride making the wedding about her?

Well aren’t you just delightful.

Fuck me.

Saucer of milk Mini? No need for that level of nastiness. Did it make you feel better about yourself?

That colour is stunning. I'd have loved you in my wedding photos. Your hair would have matched the bright pink flower on my shoes.

My friend got married three years ago (no bridesmaids, covid limit times) and two friends had very brightly coloured hair. The photos of us all just show loads of very happy people having a wonderful time.

I never get the angst over weddings. Surely they're supposed to be FUN. No-one is having fun if they are made to have their hair a certain colour/style or wear something that doesn't suit them.

Jesus. Normal? 🙄

What’s wrong with you?

No one can dictate your hair colour to you. Equally no one can dictate they'll be bridesmaid with their choice of hair colour.

If she insists tell her it might be best if she chooses another BM.

@PiperLeo if you’re worried about your forearms perhaps get some long gloves.