To be annoyed that my sister wants me to change my hair for her wedding.

She is just so so out of order. You is you, end of!

I can't believe how many people think it's ok to ask someone to change the hair colour you have for years (and even to wear a wig🫨) because it will stand out on the bridzilla wedding.

The OP didn't beg to be a bridesmaid. The bride is not doing her a favour!

Does she has bad teeth, a fungus on her toes, a leg longer than other? I would be telling her to fix that and you will change the hair colour too 🙄 cause if you are going to be a bridesmaid you want to be next to a Bride that looks like the ones from the magazines. 💅💅💅

On a serious note:

• explain you dont think that's reasonable and the request actually upsets you
• if you prefer to avoid confrontation just tell her it's giving you anxiety and affecting your mental health and therefore you will step down from that role

Tell your sister to take a hike.

I wouldn’t consider changing hair colour. The bride can ask the photographer to tone it down when processing the photos if she’s that bothered.

Wear a wig. Take it off for the reception

I do think that you hair could be jarring and stand out in photos, so i would consider her request. However, you could also ask if the photographer could tone it down in photos if that's what you sister would want, or you could wear a wig. Obviously you need to feel comfortable with how you look too, but it would be nice if you could find a way that makes you feel pretty but also pleases your sister. Maybe experiment with wigs or hair extensions and see if any suit you. At least then you would have given it a try. If then you still want to stay as you are, then i think that's absolutely fine.

Her wedding, she makes the decisions about 'look' of the wedding party.

I wouldn't want someone with dyed bright red (or any unnatural colour) hair, or for that matter tattoos or facial piercings or goth jewellery or hideous long nails, or slug eyebrows, fillers, or 'contouring' as a bridesmaid. But then I never had bridesmaids and hate weddings so perhaps I'm not the best person to answer.

Well, OP is a person in her own right, not just a bridesmaid, and she's had the colour for years which her sister knows. If it was that much of a problem then she shouldn't have asked her to be a BM.

Out of interest though, why is bright red 'a little extreme for a bridesmaid'?

That would be a hard no from me.

You be you @PiperLeo - and proud of your hair!

Ummm, I had a very loving wedding and all of my friends and family looked quite normal. My husband is a devoted family man but if you want to be VILE by suggesting and hoping otherwise, then that’s on you. What a VILE disgusting human you are 😆

OP I have the same hair colour as you. I love it, it suits me, and I don't really give AF what anyone thinks about it. It makes me feel brighter and better and that's all that matters!

Don't change who you are for anyone else x

She's got a nerve asking you to dye your hair a different colour. Tell her she doesn't have to have you as a bridesmaid if she finds your hair unacceptable.

I guess it’s not normal being the Son of God (pretty special actually) but let’s leave religion out of this ☮️

@ChinaBlueBell you will be back in a few years on the relationships section saying 'found text messages from another woman on my DH phone' or my 'DH checked out'

But at least you will have amazing wedding photos on your Instagram 🤣

Truth hurts obviously 😆

Your sister is BEYOND entitled if she has asked you to dye your hair for her wedding. Completely ridiculous of her.

Dianne from Strictly was a bridesmaid at Amy Dowden's wedding, red hair and all, in a pink bridesmaid's dress!

Turning your hair from that bright red, to blonde, would be so difficult and damaging to your hair and would require a long transition and a lot of expense.

I'd be minded to say "I can't change my hair to what you want for your wedding. I love my hair as it is, and feel it's part of who I am. If you can't accept me being in your photos looking like me, then I'm afraid I can't be your bridesmaid." Turn it back on her.

What's more important to her? Having her sister as her bridesmaid, or having someone with blonde hair as her bridesmaid?

Though, even if you're not a bridesmaid, you'd still be a guest and in the photos anyway - she's presumably not doing a quality control check on all her guests' hairstyles or outfits!?

Bright ŕed is a little extreme for a bridesmaid so I can understand her not wanting it but to ask you to change it is Bridezilla

Would you consider a wash in wash out toner so it isnt aa vibrant on the day?

A depressing number of people have got weddings backwards. The point is that you're making a commitment to your partner, and that you want your family and friends to share the day with you (cheesy, I know, but true). The photos, the colour schemes, the bridesmaid dresses - they're nice, but they're just window dressing.

The issue is the sister is being bloody ridiculous!

She can ask - you can say no. What's the issue?

👍🏻
you keep your hair colour and be firm with your sister.Say that if she wants you to be a bridesmaid you’ll go along with any dress but not change your hair.

Thing is, if you go blonde, you could potentially ruin your hair

You're surely going to have to strip the red out (I assume you're 'proper' red not just auburn?) and then bleach even more. That's going to take some work

Absolutely not

You absolute vile excuse for a human being.

So because someone doesn't conform to your view of normal.they are freaks....wow....just wow.

I strongly suggest you take your own advice and seek therapy for your diabolical opinions.

@PiperLeo your sister is what gives bride's such a bad name.

I get married in August, I am a bigger girl (20-24 depending on point in month & shop), my bridesmaids range from a size 6 to a 24/26. I took them to a dress shop that I knew did a good range of dresses and sizes and yes i paid.

My only insistence was the colour and I asked if they would consider going for similar lengths. After that I told my friends and the owner of the shop that my only concern was that they felt comfortable in.

As for hair and make up etc, I don't care how they have it or what colour they have their hair as long as they are happy.

Your sister is being a massive princess and awful. I hope to God you find a way to stand your ground and be you on the day!!