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AIBU?

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Is this ‘banter’

29 replies

cantthinkofafunnyname70 · 11/06/2024 22:24

My husband asked me to read a message from his sister on WhatsApp earlier and I saw I message from his best mate that made me look further. I’m fuming and upset but I’m not sure if it’s an over reaction.

Background: married 3 years, together 7, no kids, none intended . We’ve had our ups and downs but we’ve had such a long period of just getting on and being really close it’s been lovely. Early on there were some trust issues and we split up for a couple of months- pre marriage.

I don’t like his mate, he’s a misogynistic cu** who gives my OH awful advice such as ‘ you need to control your woman’. I’ve asked my husband many times not to discuss any issues we might have with him, ideally talk to me or talk to another friend who doesn’t hate women! Anyway, this friend has recently joined Tinder after ending a 5 yr relationship ( although he still spends the odd weekend with her), On the message he’s telling my OH that he went on a date, ( he’s also saying she was porky and not like her profile pics- he’s not exactly David Beckham)! Anyway my OH responded and said ‘ I would’ve shagged her anyway & does she have any mates’!!!!

Honestly I’m floored. I obviously can’t mention because I was snooping, but I’m sure he would say he was just being laddish but what do you think? It’s incredibly disrespectful and especially to this person that I despise.

Right now I’m thinking I’m going to leave this man and let’s him enjoy his life on Tinder!

OP posts:
billyt · 11/06/2024 22:32

See, it's unanimous.

He's a twat. Although, frankly he's lower than that.

Raise your bar.

billyt · 11/06/2024 22:31

Sounds like your OH is as sick a twat as his mate.

I have never, ever spoken about a woman like that.

It's not funny. it's thick.

How have you managed 7 years with this piece of shit?

Remove this crap from your life, it'll only get worse.

Trixiefirecracker · 11/06/2024 22:30

Nope. He’s a twat.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 11/06/2024 22:29

No, for me that is not banter.
I'd be fucking fuming at the utter disrespect, sorry but your husband sounds like a twat.