Would I be the worst mum to drop a day at nursery for 1 year old?

If you can manage everything until September and the extra money would make a massive difference then I would take her out. But if that extra time to yourself helps more then it would be fine to keep her in. Do whatever is best for you and your family.

I think we’ve got into this habit as a generation of parents of spend, spend, spend. You mention going to soft play or spending money sending her to Nursery for an extra day. Young children love the parks, walks, puddles, baths, playing with toys, the library, reading books etc.
save your money, let your house be a little messier and enjoy time just the two of you.

If it is best for you to take her out and have her at home an extra day, do it. She will learn more on a one to one basis with you than sharing her time at nursery with the other kids anyway.

Make sure you get time for yourself as well, as homeschooling part-time a child with SEN can be exhausting and all consuming, so make sure you have that you time as well if you can 💗

Hi OP,

Either way she'll be absolutely fine!! So please don't worry about this at all! Just do what is best for you and your family!

Both my kids are top of their classes at school and the most either did was 18 hours a week (3 days 9-3) in a preschool from age 3.

Children do not actually need to be in nursery. Its primary purpose is to facilitate parents working.

Omg definitely take her out. At 20m old they learn as much and more at home with a loving parent as in a nursery.

Completely Agree

The 15 hours will kick in September as it’ll be for everyone over 9 months old instead of the current 2 years. I’d keep her in.

I’d leave her in and take the hit to ensure you have a space. She’ll get 15 hours from September not January as the rules are changing.

If your in England her 15 hours will start from Sept not Jan therefore I would keep her in so you don’t loose the place

A lot of people don't have family around to help though. I kept my son in nursery when on maternity leave with DD but only for 3 half days and it made a big difference to how I managed with no family around and a crap (now ex!) husband

Op is a carer and works so I am not surprised that extra day helped.

You aren't a crap mum if you take her out or if you leave her in op! Whatever works best for your family. Is a half day a compromise that day? Then you get a bit of headspace. I would be more worried about your wellbeing than anything on those facts ,(but I realise cash flow affects wellbeing)

If money is really tight try turn2us website for grants. I am trustee of a charity that sometimes gives grants to parents who are struggling due to caring responsibilities etc and it can cover things like nursery fees for a period

She'll be fine, mine went 2 days to nursery, 1 say with grandparents and 2 days with me. Best of all worlds I think!

I wouldn't worry how the change in days affects DD - at 20 months, she's enjoying nursery but would also enjoy an extra day with mummy.

I think the real question is you. Do you need that extra day to get things done child free? My eldest also has additional needs & I would never under estimate how hard it can be to juggle that, with part time work, a home & a younger child.

If the extra £ saved would relieve some financial stress without causing you extra life stress then go for it.

DD will not suffer or miss out on anything either way.

Why bemused? I can understand it not being something you would personally do but life with small children can be relentless and I wouldn’t judge anyone using a bit of extra help: grandparents, nursery, childminder, whatever.

I'd be worried about not being able to get back up to 3 days. If you can manage the financial hit I'd just make use of the extra day to do things for you or jobs you've been meaning to do for yonks. My three year old goes for 4 days but I only work 3. That's my day for intensive cleaning jobs, extra exercise, shopping or coffee on my own etc.

I’m bemused when people pay to put their child in nursery when they don’t work but yes 2 days will still be beneficial if just worry they can’t g/tee the third day in September for you

I would think the average 20 month old would love 1 day a week dedicated to just them and their mama cleaning the house and doing the grocery shop together. I drag my 2 year old around on all my chores and we have the best time chattering about nonsense. It's great for their language too - a whole day of you talking through what you're up to.

So I understand it might not be ideal for you but I definitely don't think it would make you a bad mother!

If you can’t afford it then it will be fine to take her out.

If you can find the money to afford it I think it would be beneficial to keep her there for all of you.

You sound like you have so much on and trying to get things done with a young child about is twice as hard. Things slip and that can have an impact on your mental health. Having the day to yourself allows you to get everything in order, and then spend quality time with your child when you are happy and more relaxed. Especially as she seems to love nursery.

She'll be very happy hanging out with you!

Of course it is. None of my kids went to any sort of pre school or nursery, they just started reception at 4. They’re now well rounded sociable young adults.

@Horseebooks nails it

Sounds like you’ve got quite a lot on and that extra day without kids might be much needed breathing room!

Definitely fine to take her out, definitely fine to keep her in- it’s all about what’s best for you and your family Id say

what does your partner think?

she you say on the days she is in you work… is that caring for your son (which yes i know is work)? so what happens on your day off re your son… at school?