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AIBU?

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Original poster

10 year old using the tube alone?!!

208 replies

LIKley · 11/06/2024 12:55

DD is in Y6, her school has kids from all over London and we are used to her friends not being super close geographically.
DD’s best friend is one of the youngest in their year, so only 10 right now.

Planning a sleepover for the girls as they won’t be at the same school next year, I asked the girls parents how she will be getting to ours and was asked if I could meet her at my nearest tube station, I assumed a parent would be meeting me there with her but no they intend to let their 10 year old get the tube alone + 2 line changes one of them either at Victoria or Green Park which if you know London are hardly going to be quiet and easy to navigate at 10.

Parent insists it’s fine and the girl knows the stations well and has been using one of them alone to get to a hobby all of Y6!!

Now I know know, most kids will be getting the tube to school alone in just a couple of months but the thought of asking a 10 year old to navigate a busy station like Victoria on her own makes me feel ill!

AIBU to say to the parents that I’ll just pick her up from there house? Equally AIBU to think it’s bloody absurd to have a 10 year old make this journey?

OP posts:
Original poster
LIKley · 11/06/2024 17:22

ButterCrackers · 11/06/2024 16:46

The part that gets me is that they expect you to meet her at the tube station. Do you have time to do this? The parents should ensure that their child gets to and from your place safely and not expect you to collect her from the tube station. Fine for a child to use the tube but not to hassle you with collecting her.

Well the actually asked if my DD can meet her at the tube station as she will have to walk through the common a little and she won’t know the way. I don’t let DD walk to the station and back alone so I will go with her.
I wouldn’t have minded if they’d asked me to pick her up from home even. Of course I have the time, Im caring for their child I don’t have any other plans and don’t understand why anyone would have other plans when they have agreed to look after someone else’s child!

OP posts:
MyQuaintDog · 11/06/2024 17:09

ButterCrackers · 11/06/2024 16:46

The part that gets me is that they expect you to meet her at the tube station. Do you have time to do this? The parents should ensure that their child gets to and from your place safely and not expect you to collect her from the tube station. Fine for a child to use the tube but not to hassle you with collecting her.

The OP can say no.

Wontubemysweetheart · 11/06/2024 16:51

bruffin · 11/06/2024 13:31

Inuse tube to Victoria every day and tou had more experience in one day than i get in years of commuting
I also see plenty of children by themselves on the tube.

Edited
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Yeah alright... I believe you

Sunshineandpinkclouds · 11/06/2024 16:46

Lucky we're not in Tokyo as they travel on the metro independently from age 7!

ButterCrackers · 11/06/2024 16:46

The part that gets me is that they expect you to meet her at the tube station. Do you have time to do this? The parents should ensure that their child gets to and from your place safely and not expect you to collect her from the tube station. Fine for a child to use the tube but not to hassle you with collecting her.

ThatRoseBear · 11/06/2024 16:41

MyQuaintDog · 11/06/2024 16:09

10 is not a little boy.

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I disagree, he is my little boy/child. I'm certainly in no rush for him to grow up. Adulting lasts a long time.

shadylane · 11/06/2024 16:41

It’s fine, if they’ve done it before and you will meet them. My year seven was doing this from the summer after year 6, and probably would have been fine to do so before.

rzb · 11/06/2024 16:38

You've been asked if you can meet the child at a tube station. The child's parents are confident in her abilities to get to the tube station, and are content for her to travel alone. I'd suggest simply agreeing to meet the child at the tube station and enjoying the fact that the other child gets about by herself, which is saving you hassle and a much longer journey to collect her.

RubyGemStone · 11/06/2024 16:29

Think its fine, as someone who used the tube to go to school, visit friends and my own DC then went to school the same way. I'm pretty sure my sister and I were 8 & 10 when we were travelling alone from either North or East to South Ken and this is without mobiles.

I think tube is safer than buses and despite the stereotype being that London is horrible and dangerous I find most people I have to encounter on the tube pretty decent. She's a London kid with what 12 weeks before hundreds of London kids are doing the same. Aren't Japanese children doing this sort of thing at 4?!

Starlight1979 · 11/06/2024 16:28

CurlewKate · 11/06/2024 16:19

Wondering what people think might go wrong-and whether they live in London?

I'm wondering this too. Of all the places in London for a 10 year old to be on their own, I would say a busy tube / tube station with lots of people and staff around is actually probably one of the safest?!

which if you know London are hardly going to be quiet and easy to navigate at 10.

Surely it's better that it's not quiet??? And her parents have said she's used to the tube and doing these journeys so it IS easy for her to navigate???

You seem to be going solely off the fact that you wouldn't be happy with your DC doing it which is completely unreasonable.

MyQuaintDog · 11/06/2024 16:23

@CurlewKate according to posters she will be pushed off the platform onto the rails, be assailed by drunk or drugged people, or sexually assaulted. They make the Tube during busy times sound like the Wild West.

Hearthfloor · 11/06/2024 16:20

Not really comparable but - I haven’t been to London and used the Tubes in over 10 years but went alone recently and it was so straight forward, I struggle with maps and I didn’t get lost or get on the wrong train or anything - I am sure this girl with experience of using the Tube regularly and independently will be fine.

CurlewKate · 11/06/2024 16:19

Wondering what people think might go wrong-and whether they live in London?

brunettemic · 11/06/2024 16:18

If they say it’s fine, then it’s fine. Maybe their child is simply more mature and capable than yours and so can manage this type of thing more easily. It’s not up to you to decide what their child is able to do.

Amendment · 11/06/2024 16:16

KreedKafer · 11/06/2024 14:42

YABU to project your anxieties on to someone else's perfectly capable and confident child. If you don't want your child using the Tube, that's fine, but it's not your place to decide whether other people's children should.

This. Kids figure this kind of thing out at different stages. Just because yours isn't there yet, there's no need to pathologise someone else's child who's further along.

Starlight1979 · 11/06/2024 16:15

LIKley · 11/06/2024 13:38

I think the girl can change at either Green Park or Victoria, she needs to get from the Piccadilly or district/circle line to Victoria line then change at Stockwell which is fine as it’s one of the easiest changes on the network!

I just can’t imagine DD doing the same journey at all!

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But with the greatest of respect OP, it isn't your child. And her parents clearly are comfortable with it. Otherwise they wouldn't allow it.

MyQuaintDog · 11/06/2024 16:14

The way some posters are describing using the tube during busy times makes it sound like the Wild West. It really is not.

Starlight1979 · 11/06/2024 16:13

Wontubemysweetheart · 11/06/2024 13:26

It doesn't matter how mature a child is.. they are still not fully able to deal with an unexpected situation. Today on the tube as a grown woman I had to deal with a man openly trying to show us all his zip was undone. A woman who was coughing all over us and another man who was clearly mentally unstable. I'm an adult and it gets stressful. Don't over estimate a child's ablity then you've lost sight of the fact they are still a child.

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How about when they're 11 then? Or 12? And what has a woman coughing got to do with anything FFS???

MyQuaintDog · 11/06/2024 16:09

ThatRoseBear · 11/06/2024 14:55

You are right, he hasn't had any practice at travelling independently using busy public transport as he is still a little boy. When the time comes and he is mature enough we will teach him

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10 is not a little boy.

MyQuaintDog · 11/06/2024 16:05

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 11/06/2024 13:19

And rather them in busy stations which also tend to have more staff than in quieter ones which are usually less staffed!

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I agree that busier stations are much safer than quieter stations. Both these stations are staffed.

Peonies12 · 11/06/2024 15:17

I actually think it’s better to change st busy stations. They will have staff and safety in numbers. It’s their parents decision, not yours. Don’t add to the horrific pollution in London by driving

ThatRoseBear · 11/06/2024 14:59

AnnaCBi · 11/06/2024 13:09

But do you live in London?

I think it’s fine if she and parents are confident that she knows how to be safe. She’s more likely to have support if something goes wrong (police or TfL staff) than if she was walking somewhere. She needs to develop these skills by September - at what point would you suggest she start doing the tube alone? September? In rush hour? With a time pressure?

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I don't live in London, when I was using the tube there last week I didn't see a single police officer. The staff were up top and not below. Going to school is a necessity and children usually travel together. This isn't the same. Each to their own but I wouldn't do it at that age even if I lived in London

Luminousalumnus · 11/06/2024 14:58

From year 7 kids from all over London get the tube from god knows where, then get on the big train for an hour to Southend, then walk for 20 minutes to get to our grammar schools. I think you are underestimating most 10&11 year olds.

ThatRoseBear · 11/06/2024 14:55

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 11/06/2024 13:08

Your son would not know what to do because he hasn't had any practice at managing these situations. This little girl has. She regularly makes a similar journey and has been doing so for months. It's her parents' call and they know her capabilities better than anybody else. The Tube is busy all the time. I'm sure she will be absolutely fine.

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You are right, he hasn't had any practice at travelling independently using busy public transport as he is still a little boy. When the time comes and he is mature enough we will teach him

ThatRoseBear · 11/06/2024 14:52

bruffin · 11/06/2024 13:13

That is your son not the child in the OP who is probably more mature and used to the journeys.
The parents know their child's capabilities more than you do

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I'm sure they do, but the OP doesn't hence the post.

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