To feel this is the end because he called me a c€&t under his breath

Interestingly the OP using the word 'interrogation' for how she interacted with the dh but that's apparently fine!

I've been married 23 years and I love my husband to pieces.

Last year during a menopausal rant, I called him a cunt to his face.

I apologised and genuinely meant it. He accepted and that was that.

Done and dusted.

Mumsnet - the most dramatic place on Earth! I thought Reddit was OTT but JFC. Any minor indiscretion and everyone is LTB/Dealbreaker/Abuse. Must be great to live in the glasshouses so many of you do!

I used to do this to my mum growing up, once my door was shut I'd whisper like "I hate you so much, worst mum ever" and stick my fingers up at her 🤣🤣

In Scotland the word cunt is often used as a term of endearment! It’s certainly not considered anywhere near as offensive as it is on MN so it wouldn’t bother me at all, even if he used it in an argument. Words only have power if you allow them to have that power so it’s entirely up to you. Though, I do think him muttering under his breath after you’ve left the room is completely different to him calling you it directly. If he apologises for the upset caused, I’d move past. It’s not worth ruining a relationship for.

for what it’s worth I’m terrible at giving my DP’s back (or the direction he is in) a middle finger when he frustrates me 😂 but I wouldn’t do it to his face. we all have our own ways.

I think here it entirely depends on the frequency of the usage of the word cunt in your household. I call my husband it to his face when he’s being one because we are generally a sweary household. It wouldn’t be a deal breaker for me.

But others are absolutely disgusted by the word and it would be a dealbreaker so it’s hard to say really.

This wouldn’t be a deal breaker for me. I f he regularly called me names or was disrespectful but if not, I would treat it as a one off.

Surely its what YOUR boundaries are - if it is a dealbreaker, then dump the guy. Some couples swear and some dont - clearly you are in the dont camp - fair enough, he's crossed a line, he will have to deal with the fall out. If you are willing to divorce your husband over him calling you a cunt - then so be it. He's crossed your line. I would call my husband a cunt to his face, if he was being one, but its not a dealbreaker for me, and if he's being cuntish... well...

Yes.

I think its better he was muttering it under his breath than to your face. He was angry, which is allowed, he wasn't beating you over the head with it but having a private moment. I'd probably be even more pissed off at being castigated for saying something to myself. The whole being forced to admit under interrogation business would wind me right up even more!

I love my husband but sometimes he infuriates me and I curse his very existence and call him all sorts. Some of these replies imply you can't even have negative thoughts about your spouse, which is all it was as he wasn't aware you could hear.

My husband has never called me a name - that I’ve heard! We row, but we don’t start name calling.

Having said that, I don’t think it’s a calamity. And muttered under his breath is hardly aggressive. And it’s very satisfying to say cunt if you’re annoyed 😬 I certainly enjoy saying it in the car on occasion.

@Stingofthelash was that "What is wrong with you?" directed at me?

When it is screamed in your face.
When it is said in front of your children.
When it is said in front of any other people.

NOT when it is muttered under his breath when he thinks he's alone.

What is wrong with you? Is it just a case of misery loves company?

Me and dh have been casually cunting for years.
(It's a micky Flanagan reference)

It all depends on your relationship.If you're not sweary people then I get why you're upset.

Yabu. He thought he was alone. It would be different if he said it to your face or under his breath knowing you were in earshot.

I have called DH names in my head and or loudly to the sofa when I was home alone after a fight. It means nothing except I'm human and I sometimes get frustrated and swearing lets that out somehow.

@beckybarefoot me too!! and my mum used to do it to my dad.

Seriously op, massive over reaction in my opinion, he didn’t even say it to you.

Some people don't get angry at their partner. I've never raised my voice or called them a name in 30 years. My kids were never perfect but again, never arseholes. Not a load of shite.

Muttered under breath not the same as calling you to your face. Doesn't matter a bit what the actual word is.

Same.

Context is key, as always. If this was a blip in the middle of a happy relationship, I wouldn’t give it another thought. OTOH, if you think he’s often angry and resentful (albeit not expressing it) I’d be more concerned. But it’s the picture overall that’s the issue, not one word.

He was swearing to himself under his breath when you left the room. He did not intend you to hear that word. You should have pretended not to have heard it rather than interrogating him.
Your anger would have been justified if he had called you that to your face but he didn't. Give him a break.

Exactly this

I have muttered similar under my breath about my DH and he has no doubt done the same about me on occasion.
It doesn't mean that's really what I think, it's just a moment of anger or frustration. We are not all perfect and it's not like someone is shouting it in your face.
I would just get past it if I were you

What is so special about the word cunt?

Cunt, cunt, cunt... I don't feel any different?

Some of these responses are ridiculous. The C word is not any old swear word. It's real invective, intended to convey scorn or loathing. If he's one of those rare people that describe people as c*s as a matter of routine, that's different. But OP would know that and not be so upset. It's not the swearing that's the issue here, it's the level of swearing. I'd be hugely upset.

This.