To feel this is the end because he called me a c€&t under his breath

He was probably just letting off steam. It's a satisfying word for that! He didn't actually mean you to hear it. Holidays can be stressful for relationships.

This👆

This. If there’s nothing else going on I wouldn’t be leaving a relationship where he’s muttered one name when he didn’t think I was there. But if there’s a load of negative behaviour….

Dealbreaker for me. It’s the most offensive word a person can use. It depends how high your standards are and how you value yourself, as to what you find acceptable. It’s not a word I use and if I hear anyone use it, particularly a woman, I think pick yourself up out of the gutter and I avoid. If my partner called me that name, instant disconnect because I can do better and be with someone with more respect and intelligence. I think if anyone finds it okay, they should review how people really see them.

It'd be the end for me. That's not love.

You can't seriously break up a marriage over that?

You know if he's a good man or not. Go on that. Not a mutter under his breath.

I get it used to be seen as the worst word, but people use it now like they would dickhead.

If I said to DH 'don't be a dick or an arsehole' I wouldn't expect him to leave me!

Good god get a grip. Everyone’s thought or even said this out loud ! In the heat of a row. It would be different if he regularly called you this. Then that would be a leave him sign. How ridiculous that anyone would think it should be the grounds for divorce. I’m so pleased no one can see inside my head. No wonder marriages don’t last these days !!! I called my husband a twat a few years back to his face. We got over it. For gods sake. So precious.

Almost the exact same scenario happened to me, OP but DH thought I’d gone downstairs!

I was upset he’d used the C word, but it wasn’t meant for my ears, only his own! We did have a discussion about it, he did apologise but it’s certainly not something I would have left him for. He didn’t scream it in my face, he’s probably muttered it before if we’ve argued (as no doubt your DH has possibly done)

DH is sweary and does use the C word! I have called DH a number of names under my breath (never the C word as I hate it) DH knows I don’t like it, which is probably why he thought he’d mutter it as a retort but to himself!

I can understand why you’re upset, it must have been a shock to you if your DH is normally pretty controlled during confrontation, but it’s not something to get divorced over, imo.

I don't agree with it but cunt has become more socially acceptable and I've heard it on post-watershed TV quite often in the last couple of years. This sort of social disinhibition can potentially spread to any of us and if you weren't meant to hear it, it does make a difference. Upsetting, yes, but not a LTB moment.

I'd have called him one back and then made a joke about him wishing I'd not heard the comment.

It's not 'nice' but certainly not something I'd break up a marriage over

I can’t count the amount of times I have called my husband a d*ck..too
many. He does not take it personally. Broad shoulders and a sibling of 3 boys, he has been called worse. On the other hand I once just once in 17 years heard him call me the name you mentioned. I was mortally wounded/offended, rings were off.

To be fair it wasn’t my finest moment, he was right. I wasn’t being my usual charming self. The carnage I caused after being called said name was huge. Surprised I wasn’t on the news and he simply said “you call me x all the time.” Couldn’t argue, I did.

If you’ve never been mad or called someone a name yourself then I say you’ve every right to be offended, but if you’re on the dark side like I am then it’s hypocritical to be offended. Only you know..

You know sometimes it's not upto us to decide what is considered c* ish behaviour

I had been considering divorcing my wife for the last two years. We hardly ever fought but this time last year we had a big bust up and she called me an utter c@unt twice. Massive redline for me, asked her for a divorce 3 months later.

Would it be any different if he'd just been thinking it anyway? Or is the fact it was in his head and popped out of his mouth quietly? No-one knows what awful things we might think about each other, it was just unfortunate it was audible. Personally, I'd shout, "No, YOU c*nt!" & probably laugh about it later on when we'd made friends again. Not worth splitting up over xx

This wouldnt bother me but then in Scotland its a common word to use really and i dont understand why its deemed so "bad".

Sound C - good guy
Worst C - b*stard
Daft C - idiot
Ripping the C - taking the piss
Fell on my C - fell on your bum, back, head
SomeC - anyone
That C - this person
Dose of the C - being very annoying

Its very versatile 😂

I mean, if he was screaming in your face aggressively then yes, that totally inappropriate but muttering a name under his breath? I mean, i do that to the kids! I think if thats the end, theres far more reasons than just that.

@OnTheBoardwalk 🤣 love that top!

I cried first, then after he apologised I told him calmly without shouting that if he called me it again I would leave.

I've muttered names about my husband when I'm angry and I love him to bits. If he had screamed at you you're a cunt then he'd be an asshole and you would be justified in leaving him.
But this was a one off that you weren't even supposed to hear. I would let it go. He muttered it because he was angry but knew he shouldn't be angry with you which is why he was muttering.

That's the 'casual cunting off' phase!

Call him a cunt back!

I use the word cunt as a term of endearment 😂 so to use it in anger it has no effect. For me wouldn’t be a dealbreaker but I know some hate the word so can completely understand why you have such negative feelings around it. That said, I think maybe my judgement on right and healthy might be off, just out of an abusive relationship so perhaps name calling for me I’m numb to

It would be a dealbreaker for me.

He didn’t “call you a cnt”, he muttered it under his breath after you had an argument and walked out then came back in. That’s entirely different thing to him saying “you’re a cnt” in an argument. For the record, I hate that word, which is beside the point. I love DH but when we’ve argued at times I know I’ll have called him a “f*cking b3llrnd” or similar under my breath.

If you were calm, why did you cry?

I've called my DH an arsehole and then immediately retracted it. We were playfully bickering about something. I said "Haha! You arsehole." I almost never swear though, so I was quite shocked with myself and said "Oh God! You're not an arsehole. I didn't mean that, I'm so sorry!" he was just laughing the entire time. No ill-intent. My DH has called me a bitch before if I've won something on the premium bonds and he hasn't. Again, playful and no ill-intent.

If you've never heard him say that before, then it might be a cause for concern, but not a relationship-ender. I'd want to get him to talk to me and be honest with how he feels so I can help him. You are a team, you help each other out.

It’s a word OP , some people hate words like 'moist' but it’s just a word

i dont mind being called a cunt, sometimes I enjoy being one, l've even got the T-shirt (ignore the hairs). I very very very rarely use it in every day life. I really hate being called a twat and had an ex who called me that because he didn’t think anything of it from his viewpoint

i absolutely get why you are upset but as other posters have said, unless there are other issues speak to him about the word and try and move on. I'm sure we’ve all been in a train, planes and automobile situation where we've said all the words to ourselves rather than in public