To feel this is the end because he called me a c€&t under his breath

Are you Scottish? If not, it’s an insult that you weren’t meant to hear, so forget it …everyone’s a c#t here! good, bad or ugly ‘the very best c#t’ in the world is everyone’s bestie x

Maybe it's just me, but if I ever felt so angry with a partner that I felt like calling him a slur, I think it's a sign I don't love him anymore. I could never say or think that about someone I like, let alone love.

I have ended my past relationships long before it got to that point.

Seriously, you would end a marriage for this? Ridiculous response.

I'd be very shocked if I heard my husband calling me this, but then I've never, ever, heard him use this word. But as you also use this terminology it appears it's something that shouldn't be as shocking to you! So why get so upset about it?

But why is it worse if someone calls you a cunt opposed to a twat? People will be less offended by twat. That is what I don’t understand

I agree and would feel very concerned of the underlying sentiment (misogyny and contempt) and that it was a day to day disagreement, that this is his underlying opinion.

Your 2nd post suggests you have a hunch of the same, I think you should listen to your gut instinct about the relationship as it seems you caught him out on it.

Haven’t RTFT but I would have said something like - as we are married and equal you are also a cunt.

Oh my goodness.

Are people really advising an someone to end their marriage because her husband was upset, thought he was alone and muttered something unpleasant (it's certainly not a word I would ever use) under his breath?

Does marriage really mean so little to you?

People are allowed not to be perfect. People are allowed to get angry. He did not shout abuse at her. He muttered something under his breath and the OP states she had to interrogate him to get him to admit what he said.

To be honest I would be more upset if someone felt they had the right to interrogate me rather than they muttered something not meant for anyone to hear.

I agree, you don’t my point is that a sweary expression of anger shouldn’t damage an otherwise great, loving, mutually supportive relationship.

Because words have meaning? I really don't get what you don't understand about such a basic concept?

Many people, men in particular use the word cunt to express hatred of someone. People get offended when someone uses a word used to express hatred about them. Why is that difficult to understand?

wow, what a low bar you must have. Give the poor guy a break?? Why? Is he entitled to call the @RealNewt op a cunt?

and as for your comment ''you'd end up lonely'' well as a single person I'm happy to be single if the alternative is such a fear of being lonely that you'd stay with somebody who called you a cunt.

Weird. Having a ''relationship'' is not like having a job, you don't have to have a shit relationship until you get a better relationship. I think some women get this confused.

No it really doesn’t 🙄

Jesus, you may end up very lonely if you’d end a relationship over that. In a row, it’s quite normal to fling a nasty insult at a partner. DH and I spend most of our time loved-up even after 16 years together (I know 🤮), but in a (rare row), a sweary insult or two is used as an expression of annoyance, frustration etc.

Give the guy a break YABU

I have often called my husband a prick out of earshot and I’m sure he’s called me plenty of names. We’ve been together 20 years in total. We don’t argue much but on the odd occasion we have a heated debate over something or nothing and need a cooling off period before we can shake it off. If he said it to my face (not that he ever would) i would probably fly back with something myself. I’m not overly precious about words, especially after a blow up where things can get distorted and easily slip out in frustration, it’s venting whatever is said and should be addressed later on when things are calm. I get called this and worse at work by teenagers so it’s water off a ducks back to me. Sticks and stones and all that.

It's a word. I'm aware I'm in the minority here but it's not something I can get hung up about. Why is that word different to any other swear word? Would you have been bothered if you'd heard him calling you something different? Fu£&er? Sl&g? Sl@t? Bi£th? I love the Micky Flanagan casual c£&t routine. I choose not to give power to a word, it can't hurt me.

It’s a word

YABU

I hate the word but I have used it in anger before, directed at my DH. Not something I'm proud of. I love my DH very much and i don't actually think he is one. It's not like he shouted the word at you either!

How awful and what a very nasty thing to say about someone you are meant to love.
The answer can be found in my question to you OP…. Will any amount of sorry’s make you forget about this experience?
Good luck ☺️

Exactly this
Sometimes communication is key, there is an underlying issue he may not be addressing and can easily go past

Talk this out with him easy for others to say end of

Absolutely agree with @pollymere

No wonder there is so many broken homes nowadays 🤷‍♀️

If he was tired and grumpy and you'd just have a fight it's definitely apology worthy but otherwise let it go. Marriage is about a lifetime partnership. If you think people get to 25/30/50 years without saying something dumb or having a row occasionally then you're not facing reality.

My DH hates going on holiday I've realized. It brings out the worst of him. I've since worked out what he does want from a holiday and the grumpy arguments are far fewer. If like mine, he's usually a kind and loving person then just get on with things. If it's highlighted that you actually can't stand each other then time to call it a day.

Its not a nice word, but y'know - "Sticks and stones etc". If he was screaming it in your face, then that would be quite different.

Has anyone ever heard of micky Flanagan casual c#@!£ it's hilarious! Sometimes I think people say things they don't mean they're just angry at the time, whether to your face or under their breath, it really doesn't call for a divorce! I use that word all the time it doesn't mean anything to me it's just a swear word, sticks and stones and all that! (I swear like a fisherman's wife though lol, dh never really thinks anything of it!) And in an argument I swear like a trooper outloud, under my breath, fingers up the lot, same for dh but of course that is just us, again usually 5 mins later we're made up, we've been married 17years and know what buttons to press and also realise whats worth the enormous arguments and whats not! It wouldn't be a make or break situation for me! It's really a non issue!