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Original poster

To feel this is the end because he called me a c€&t under his breath

238 replies

RealNewt · 11/06/2024 00:29

Hi, I really need some advice. Just had a fight with DH while on holiday and walked out of the room. I changed my mind and walked back in, and heard him at the tail end of calling me a cunt to himself. He (under interrogation) admitted it. I am really shocked that he would call me this, even to himself. For the record, I wasn’t being particularly unreasonable or acting cuntish, it was just a stupid fight about nothing.

OP posts:
Crispsarethebestfood · 12/06/2024 23:35

He called you a name under his breath when you were in another room?
So he’s a human then. He is expressing his feelings to himself.
People who are jumping to the fact that he ‘could be dangerous’ really need to give their head a wobble.

Ohfuckwhatdoidonow · 12/06/2024 23:26

TBH no, it wouldn't be the end of my marriage, but it would be the catalyst for a proper conversation.
If feelings are building up to get to this point, you need to talk and figure out what's going on in your marriage. Otherwise it doesn't spell out good things for your future together.

I'd honestly say that this is a crossroads though, the signs are there, you just have to decide what you're going to do, work at it and make it so this isn't the norm, or do you decide to walk away?

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 12/06/2024 23:06

only you know what kind of disrespect it shows based on your relationship.

For me and my DH, it would be a big problem. He hates swearing so if I heard this it would show a huge level of disrespect and that he’s just not into me anymore. it would be very close to a dealbreaker. And vice versa.

For a family member of mine, she says c@nt every day, if she said her partner was one in an argument it really wouldn’t be a big deal and everyone would roll their eyes.

You can see a huge spectrum even on this thread. One thing I would say is that it did upset you and so you should talk to him about it.

imisscashmere · 12/06/2024 22:43

sixtyandsomething · 12/06/2024 21:35

is it? why? no body in my family has ever used such language to anyone else ever. Maybe its a normal day to day occurrence in your family, but unheard of in mine

Show quote history

Lol. It’s also unheard of in mine. Which is why if it DID happen I would consider other courses of action instead of immediately divorcing my husband for this single occurrence.

Bs0u416d · 12/06/2024 22:08

squidgybits · 12/06/2024 21:56

I see much "pearl clutching"

Is this even real?
Over and out - foxtrot oscar

😂

rainydays03 · 12/06/2024 22:01

ILikeItWhatIsIt · 11/06/2024 11:30

I love how Mumsnet is full of stepford wives.
Never had a negative thought about their partner
Never called them a name
Never raised their voice, never even thought about it
Never took the huff, never petty
Children are all angels, never arseholes

Load of shite

Agreed!!!

I’ll call my OH it to his face if he deserves it 😂 and I love that man to death!

squidgybits · 12/06/2024 21:56

I see much "pearl clutching"

Is this even real?
Over and out - foxtrot oscar

sixtyandsomething · 12/06/2024 21:38

momtoboys · 12/06/2024 21:37

I'll bet that or something similar has been muttered under someone's breath even in your family.

Show quote history

Never heard of anything like it in my family in my life

momtoboys · 12/06/2024 21:37

sixtyandsomething · 12/06/2024 21:35

is it? why? no body in my family has ever used such language to anyone else ever. Maybe its a normal day to day occurrence in your family, but unheard of in mine

Show quote history

I'll bet that or something similar has been muttered under someone's breath even in your family.

sixtyandsomething · 12/06/2024 21:35

imisscashmere · 12/06/2024 20:26

Seriously, you would end a marriage for this? Ridiculous response.

Show quote history

is it? why? no body in my family has ever used such language to anyone else ever. Maybe its a normal day to day occurrence in your family, but unheard of in mine

squidgybits · 12/06/2024 21:32

Is he Scottish? It has unlimited meanings here (it's considered merely punctuation by many)
Is he worthy on any other levels?

I have had bad fights/words where you think its all over but it wasn't
ALWAYS go with your gut instinct! (it's why you have it!)
I wish you well in life and love X

Frasers · 12/06/2024 21:20

Bs0u416d · 12/06/2024 21:18

Are people honestly suggesting they would throw they hat in on a marriage because their DH muttered theC word to himself? 😂

People on here think uou should end your marriage full stop if you’re married to a bloke. Any reason will do

TerrysNeapolitan · 12/06/2024 21:19

OP been with partner 22 years - we have def had our moments, what you have mentioned included, life is stressful and we say stuff out of frustration. Both cool off x

Bs0u416d · 12/06/2024 21:18

Are people honestly suggesting they would throw they hat in on a marriage because their DH muttered theC word to himself? 😂

plimm · 12/06/2024 21:13

I don't think it's a case of LTB, but I'd be monitoring the health of my marriage much more closely after that for sure.
Are there some ways the two of you can build the closeness in your relationship back up?

Viviennemary · 12/06/2024 21:05

So what. Just forget about it and move on. It's only a word.

OldPerson · 12/06/2024 21:02

He didn't actually call you a c* to your face.

However, he really didn't like you after that "argument over nothing". He was very angry.

Maybe at your diva behaviour for storming out a room "over nothing".

There is a difference between being directly rude to someone's face (and hoping to humiliate them) and cursing and swearing when alone about someone who has made you angry.

But I'm not sure if you stormed out like an entitled diva, or you just needed 5 minutes to yourself to calm down.

ttcat37 · 12/06/2024 20:58

If he didn’t mean for you to hear, no issue
If he did, big issue

Treestumpp · 12/06/2024 20:58

You cant really ask anyone else as it all comes down to your individual level of tolerance. Reminds me of that couple on Father Ted.

Skopuagain · 12/06/2024 20:57

I only call people like Putin, Netanyahu, HAMAS, Trump, Johnson, Truss, Sunak and murderers/child abusers that word, so I agree OP I'd be so hurt to hear my partner call me it, however quietly.

What do people who call their partners that, call people who wreck lives or kill? Superc***s?

momtoboys · 12/06/2024 20:54

I'll bet many of your hair would curl at the names I have muttered under my breath when my husband is annoying. :)😂

GreyhoundLurcher · 12/06/2024 20:52

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Riversideandrelax · 12/06/2024 20:50

Only you know what it means to you.

I personally call my partner all sorts of things but for us that is normal. It is not that deep at all. Like I'll call him a name while laughing and teasing him. I might say something in exasperation. It would not bother me. But if he screamed something in my face or acted aggressively or something like that - very different story.

Sunsetmom · 12/06/2024 20:45

I couldn’t and wouldn’t end a marriage or relationship over someone calling me that but we are a sweary couple. I get it’s a horrible word but when I am frustrated I can’t lie it may slip out! Massive over reaction in my opinion!