Unwarranted shortening of people's names

It's frustrating, my 5 letter name used to get shortened to 2 letters. I just refuse to talk to people who shorten it or I ask sarcastically if they are talking to me as I can't stand the shortened version.

My name is Alexandra.

And the amount of times I get called ‘Alexander’ (clearly a male name) at work/doctors surgery/etc. is infuriating. So I’m actually pleased when people just refer to me as Alex.

Sorry OP, I know that’s the opposite point of the thread. 🙈

Some people call my me by the first letter of my name ☠️🤣

I just find it really extra and a bit uptight to insist on a specific, drawn out name, especially when it's something like Elizabeth or William - something long and pretty much always shortened. I cannot imagine calling a child eg Oliver and then referring to them as that at all times. It's so formal and long!

Parents lose control of names as soon as kids start school. At that point kids have usually picked up a particular nickname or shortened version that sticks. We weren't keen on the version of DS's name that emerged at nursery but it stuck and now we use it too (unless he's being told off and the long version comes out!).

I find it sad when parents try to drum it into kids to insist on their full name, too. I once taught a child who insisted on the French pronunciation of her name and it became a focus for kids to wind her up daily. I know kids are kids and will find something to pick at, but her reaction to the English pronunciation was so dramatic and immediate that she might as well have had a big red button on her forehead and a 'do not press' sign!

It's a pick your battles thing, for me. That said, if someone tells you they don't like being called something, you shouldn't call them that, obviously.

My mum also chose a name for me that can't be shortened (She chose more carefully than Louise which is my middle name!) Doesn't stop people lengthening it though but I don't mind because it's people I like😄

How is Gabrielle “quite a mouthful”? It’s three syllables.

YANBU. I find it rude and over familiar.

I was at the GP surgery this morning (yes, a real live appointment!). I'd not met this doctor before, but she called me in to the appointment as 'Ms Hat?' instead of 'OldTinHat?' and I was quietly impressed at that respect. I then got referred straight to the hospital for xrays, the hospital just bellowed 'OLDTIN HAT?!!!'. But they were very lovely!

Other healthcare services automatically call me 'Old'. Hate it.

My name has an accepted diminutive, which most people use. But that's not enough for some people and I get a diminution of the diminutive. I find it quite endearing

Well, my gran was dying and the nurses have this thing for calling older people by their first name. It was Vera this, Vera that, she hated it. The last time someone said it she opened her eyes and said: It is MRS YOUNG to you!

My best friend of 40 years uses the shortened version of my name. I bloody hate it but it's too late now!

I always sign my full, 5 letter name. I always refer to myself as my full name. But she doesn't get the hint.

@StaunchMomma It's rude with someone you don't know/at work but it's so tiresome when a friend insists on the long version of their/their kids names, IMO.

Why is it tiresome though? I picked my DCs name because that's the name I liked. If i wanted him to be called Ed (not his real name) I would have called him Ed. Of course if he chooses to be known as Ed that's his choice. But unless he expresses that then he will be called Edward.

'Trying to be friendly' is code for 'presuming on an intimacy that does not yet exist'. It's lazy and yes, it is rude.

I have a name which can’t be shortened. One or two people I have known for years add a ‘y’ on the end and lengthen it. I don’t mind because of the length of time I’ve known them, I would hate it if someone I didn’t know well did it. My sister shortens my name and calls me by just my Initial, her children have started copying her. That makes it a really cute nickname, but strictly for family only !

Yanbu

I have a name with lots of possible shortenings and people generally pick the wrong one.

Say to people - I prefer to be called Aloysious not Al. Most people will make the effort to get your name right, and just keep correcting.

yes it is annoying - but it’s life.

My favourite are the ones that highlight using English approximations of non-English names as rude and inappropriate and it’s not too hard to get a name right - while getting my common English language name wrong.

But getting overly upset about it just means you have crappy days - cause nobody that really cares.

EDIT: undoing the autocorrect errors

It is very rude.

It happens to my husband all the time. He corrects people and they carry on regardless.

E.g. Thomas getting called Tom or Tommy, Robert getting called Bob or Robbie.

It's rude with someone you don't know/at work but it's so tiresome when a friend insists on the long version of their/their kids names, IMO.

For what it's worth, I have a one syllable name that people frequently lengthen. I don't really care, to be honest.

Maybe I'm jealous of all of your syllables.

Rude rude rude !!!!

the name someone introduces themselves to you as is the name you use.

so if Joseph smith introduces themselves as

Joe
Joseph
jo Jo
big j
sephy
mr smith
smithster
smithy
j-j

or whatever else - that is what I use.

not my place to judge, comment or change it.

over time and with familiarity - nicknames between familiar people may evolve - but on first meeting someone you respond to what they present as.

lengthening, shortening, adding a y etc is just plain rude!

I have the opposite problem and people assume my name is the shortened version of a different name.
eg say I go by El, people assume my name is Ellen but it's actually Michelle.

Just call people the name they ask you to call them.

Counter it by lengthening their names.

"Hi there Beth"

"Oh, didn't see you there Jonathonulon"

I don't like it, but it's a useful signal that the person who does it is a jerk.

I'm the opposite - I have a long 3 syllable name that I always wished was shorter when I was younger (no longer care now) but it's difficult to shorten it, because my mother deliberately picked a name that was hard to shorten. However, that has never stopped people pronouncing it wrongly, which is very annoying since it's a simple name that's not unusual at all and can only have one pronunciation with changing the spelling!

I agree that it's really rude and it makes me very cross. I'll forgive people once if they've not met me before, but once I've corrected someone and told them the name I use, I get really irritated if they continue to use the wrong name. If someone is particularly persistent then I ignore them and if I'm challenged I point out that I assumed they weren't talking to me as that's not my name. Whether people want to be called by their full name or a shortened version, it's their decision, and it's extremely disrespectful for anyone to call them something else.

I find it so bizarre when people don’t just call someone what they’ve introduced themselves as. You wouldn’t call someone who introduced themselves as ‘Alexander” by the name Pete and imo deciding to call them Zander isn’t that much different. They’ve told you their name, use that…

My first name can’t be shortened and I have short shrift to a few (always male!) colleagues determined to shorten it to just calling me by the first letter.

I spent the first 14 years of my life with a ridiculously stupid first name (drug addled parents) and I thought long and hard about what to call myself when I changed it. Absolutely no need for anyone to decide to call me something different again.

My name regularly gets shortened. I introduce myself in full and my name badge at work has my full name (only five letters long so easy to pronounce), it just seems rude to shorten it without at least checking that'd be ok. On one occasion I ignored someone at work when they shouted the shortened version of my name to get my attention - it's not my name, so obviously didn't want me😂