When people say they’re going to ‘try’ for a girl/boy

I have never heard anyone say this. I have only heard other people asking couples with 2 boys 'are you gonna try for a girl next?' Like it's as easy as ordering one off ASOS. Or asking someone with just girls if they're gonna 'try for a boy!'

Never heard anyone saying they are trying for a girl though (or boy.)

When I hear that I just despair at the appalling level of basic human biology being taught in our schools. How on earth is it even possible for anyone to be that ignorant & scientifically illiterate?

Well, It's the male sperm that decicides what sex the embryo will be. Since the female is XX, each of her eggs has a single X chromosome. The male, being XY, can generate two types of sperm: half bear the X chromosome, half the Y.
All up to his swimmers

What did you do and what was the result?

I actually find the science behind it to be really interesting, whether accurate or not, and it “worked” several times for me. Could’ve just been luck, and I wouldn’t have done it if I really cared or would have felt disappointed, nor did I announce we were trying for one or the other, but for the sake of even numbers I’m happy with how it all shook out. 😅

Meh. Doesn’t bother me

It just means they're going to have another baby in the hopes it's the opposite sex to the children they have is all. Hoping for one sex or the other isn't unusual and as long as it doesn't progress to serious disappointment there's no harm done. I know loads of adults who's parents hoped they were the other sex and joke about it. Its fairly common and doesn't scar for life provided the parents get over it, as nearly all do.

How about: a) it suggests no grasp of biology or statistics, b) people who have a preference for one sex over another are selfish and lacking imagination. And most of all c) these are the sorts of people who convey disappointment on a child because it isn’t the sex they wanted so shouldn’t be having kids at all. Imagine growing up with a parent who is disappointed that you were the wrong sex. It’s a recipe for low self esteem in a child.

When you hear people saying their husband wants to “try for a football team” it makes me cringe on their behalf. (It’s always the husband). Urgh.

Doesn’t really bother me. No one says it in the belief that they can influence the sex of their child; they’re just expressing a wish for the sex of the next one.

What is far weirder is someone telling you at all - given that trying involves them having either loads of sex or very precisely timed sex.

why? Can you try to articulate why you find it moronic @Thepeopleversuswork it seems so harmless to me.

Yes me too - So bloody nosey!

Sorry I’m sure I will get deleted but people who say this and actually mean it (as opposed to voicing a desire for x sex) are morons.

Wrong thread sorry!

@Isitisit I don't think so but who knows if she's pretending to be a muggle!

YABU - it’s not shocking, you are over thinking it. It’s a common expression that is age old and as many posters said, not to be taken too seriously. Sounds like you’re looking for things to be offended by.

Is your colleague Mrs Weasley?

This happened for us, coincidentally 🤣

One of my old colleagues said trying for a girl
6 boys she had then number 7 was a girl!

I think you're more likely to get a boy during ovulation.

If you really want a girl I think it's 24 hours before ovulation.

You can try for a certain sex. There's some science about whether male or female sperm hang around longest.

if people want to try, let them

I’m pregnant with my 4th and the number of people who asked if the baby was planned has been flabbergasting. It’s so fucking rude “is your baby and accident?”

no, arsehole, it is not.

i think its fine to have a preference, if you would also be delighted with the other sex! What’s not fine is to have a baby knowing you’d be disappointed if you had boy/girl. That’s shitty.

in general though people do just use “trying for boy/girl” and other odd little things to make pregnancy small talk - you’re overthinking it

I do agree - but the defensiveness is probably because of other people’s comments. My PIL were vocal that it would be lovely to have a girl and they meant no harm but it did make me feel that a boy and a fourth grandson would be a disappointment and I felt protective over him! (He turned out to be a girl anyway!)

This!

I always hated it when people asked me if my babies were planned too. They were but it’s still an awkward question.

What makes me a bit suspect is when people have an unusual number of children where the last one just happens to be a different sex from all the others ‘but we definitely weren’t trying for a boy; we just wanted exactly 9 children’. Pull the other one!

I know somebody who has just had boy number 3 and has posted very defensively to well meaning comments on the birth photo. Comments such as ‘a whole football team, congrats!’ have been met with ‘I’m not at all disappointed if that’s what you’re getting at’. Awks

I agree it's weird. I've been asked if I'm going to try for a girl, I say no thanks my son is literally perfect 🤣