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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it’s not us being too overprotective as parents

84 replies

Peakyshelby · 10/06/2024 18:46

long time lurker but my first post

Just let my son start walking home from primary school. He is in year six and there is a group of them that walk home the same way. About 20 minutes. He is allowed to stop at the park for half an hour that is on the way home. After speaking to the other parents that is what they let there kids do as well. Except a couple that can basically stay at the park until six. For us that is far too long and we want him home by half four.

Tonight my son rings me and tells me on that all the others have decided to walk to a different park that is 45 minutes away. I tell him and to walk home as usual and I will come and meet him halfway.

we get home and I have a chat with DS telling him it’s for his safety and he understands. So we leave it that in future if the others go to the other park they he is to ring me and I will start walking to meet him.

about an hour ago on the parents WhatsApp there is a message from one of the parents asking why I did not let DS go to the other park. I explain that I am not happy with him walking to a part 45 minute away in a place where he is not familiar. To cut a long story short it turns out none of the other parents even the ones who told me that they want their kids home after half an hour at the park on the way home basically care where their kids go after school as long as they are home at about 6ish. I was made to feel that I am an overprotective parent and sometimes they go to this other park, sometimes they go to down the woods nearby and hang out there and sometimes go to near the park On the way home.

Basically am I being overprotective. At this age I want to know where my son is and know when he will be home

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 10/06/2024 18:54

I don’t think you’re unreasonable, I think there’s just two types of parents. There is a group of parents who take the stance that they did it all the time as a child (so did I) and were fine so they don’t mind their children doing the same, and there are parents who maybe didn’t do it when they were younger or they did but feel that the situation is different now and so different rules apply. Neither is inherently wrong, it’s just different views, but they are wrong to criticise your choices. I agree with another poster that maybe there could be a middle ground, so 5:30 & check in via text so you know where they are for example

Clueless2024 · 10/06/2024 18:52

I AM one of those over protective mums! I don't care what other parents let the kids do, doesn't mean I have to follow suit. Safety first, you can never be too careful. I like to also know where my kid is.

LittleRebelGirl · 10/06/2024 18:51

If you're unreasonable then so am I. Unfortunately my yr6 son is SEN so can't go out unsupervised at all. However his elder brother was able to, and there were boundaries and rules in place. The other parents don't sound like they are parenting at all.

Blibblab · 10/06/2024 18:51

You are not unreasonable. And I would not allow my year 6 on WhatsApp for this very reason. Mind have a basic phone for emergency use and get a more modern one when they go to secondary school.

AlwaysBlowingLightbulbs · 10/06/2024 18:51

I think maybe meet in the middle..further park but 5.30.home in summer.
He's going to seniors soon and no doubt want to be busing into the city etx

Azandme · 10/06/2024 18:50

I'd have said no to dd12, Yr 7, goes on a bus to school daily.

Too far, unknown area, all kids. Nope.

TeaKitten · 10/06/2024 18:50

I agree 45 minutes away is too far away, but a Y6 being out until 6pm is fairly normal, can there be a compromise? Although if these kids and parents are happy to call you out and make fun of your son then I’d be happier making him avoid them anyway.

wellington77 · 10/06/2024 18:50

Jesus those parents sound awful. I’m in the camp that I think a ten year old is to young to be out playing by themselves ( I’m 34- and did it all the time in a very rural village, where the church yard was our park!) however with all the horror stories you hear and knowing the stupid things I got up to a ten years old I don’t think I could, all I can think of at that age is the Soham murders. I think I’d have to compromise maybe and sit in the park and let them play while I watch from afar

Peakyshelby · 10/06/2024 18:48

Also my son has started to get some texts from his mates giving him some stick and calling him baby. I have taken the phone for now

OP posts: