To think it’s not us being too overprotective as parents

Can you help him with excuses? "My teatime's 5.15 so it's not worth coming with you - I'd have to leave earlier than you and walk back on my own which is boring." "I've promised to walk the dog." "I'm facetiming my gran at 5." "I've got stuff I want to do before scouts."

I am going to be a bit controversial, but I would be trying to steer my child away from friendships with kids who roam free after school. I imagine there are some kids who are never allowed out after school because they have activities, extra tuition or their patents think that homework should be done as soon as they get home.
Once your child gets to high school you want him to be friends with the studious crowd, not the kids who hang around the park till all hours.
Are there any activities that your child wants to go to after school? If they are doing activities a couple of nights s week, you are reasonable to say that he has to be home straight from school the other nights.

Definitely unreasonable of them! You've probably just made them defensive about their choices.
It's up to the parent individually, and all kids are different. No chance would my 10 year old be out like that. They have all their lives for it.
But I wouldn't get involved with another parents choice

Wow maybe I'm OTT but I expect my 13 year old in Y8 to come straight home after school...no question. Then can go out after. Even then I wouldn't be letting him go 45 mins anywhere. I have 3 older children and my thoughts have always been don't let them go too young or you will have a hell of a time trying to reel them back in later

It is totally out of order for a parent to question another parent over something like this. I can see why a parent might contact another if they saw the other parent’s child doing something risky - but not to suggest that the other parent is too strict. That parent is very wrong to do that.

I would not let my child do this at this age, and neither would any of their close friends’ parents. And yes, we did roam all over the place at their age, but that was decades ago in my case- far less traffic for a start.

I'm really shocked that someone would actually challenge you on this on the parents WhatsApp group! YANBU!

I think thr Mother who texted you on the whattsapp group was nosey and had no need to question your parenting decisions.

Btw in my area it's totally normal for Yr6 to go into the (urban) village near the school and hang out in park. Prob home by 5.30-6 for food. In year7 going further afield is normal and home by 6.30

Depends so much on your area etc and also maybe the other parents have older siblings so are more relaxed ?

Kids that age being allowed to wander seems a bit strange to me, they’re too immature to deal with so many situations (older kids bullying, dogs bothering them, even crossing the road really when you think of it!) As someone said above, nearly the holidays so you can get a break from those parents!

Mines 11 and year 6, I wouldn't let him go 45 mins away . Luckily we have 3 big parks within 10 mins wal from the house. Mine usually comes home to dump his bag as school is a few streets away then goes off out until about 6.30 . I have life 360 on his phone so can check where he is if I feel the need

Yanbu to think the other parent should keep their opinion to themselves though, ds11 is my 4th ds, there have been many occasions over the years that I've told one or the other of them that I don't care what other children are allowed to do, it doesn't mean they can

I don’t get this attitude. You absolutely can be too careful and it’s doesn’t help your children in the long term.

This with bells on.

I mean, personally, I think you are absolutely right with your boundaries BUT, even if I didn't agree with you, it would absolutely be none of my business.

You should be incredibly proud of your ds though - what a mature young man he is.

I wouldn't worry about what other parents think. Your child, your rules. I don't think it's unreasonable to not want him going somewhere 45 minutes away after school. I let mine play in the local park til 5/5.30ish but that's 10 minutes away if that. It's a shame that your son is getting teased by the other kids but if he shrugs it off and shows them he's not upset by them, they'll probably stop once they don't get a reaction!

I have a child the same age as yours and I wouldnt let her walk 45 minutes to a park and back! 6pm would be too late when I haven't seen her all day! You are very sensible and care about your child's welfare. My brother was one of those lax parents. His kids played out until dark every day, and got into some bad situations. He didn't care and enjoyed the peace and quiet. His kids failed their gcses because they were never encouraged to revise, just kicked out to play until dark. You're doing the right thing to give boundaries, he is still quite young.

I think you're fine. I also think the other parents are fine.

Just respond that you'd just rather he came home at the time you mentioned and leave it at that. Don't be drawn into or peer pressured into changing your mind.

And if the other kids are being mean to your son, tell him to tell them that his mum makes the rules and if he gets in trouble he'll lose privileges.

The other parents obviously don't give a shit

Again, what an unpleasant remark. Of course the parents “give a shit” about their children.

I have such mixed feelings. Our parents didn't even know where we were and mobile phones didn't exist. Everyone seems so gripped with fear these days and terrified of the world. Freedom enriched our lives.

YANBU and this is why I loathe social media & fucking phones.

I'm in south London so we're possibly a bit overly conscious of dangers of our boys at that age. DSs class WhatsApp group is very respectful, I can't imagine anyone lasting long if they started criticising other parents.

I should have also said the other parent is completely out of order!

No way. I have a year 6 and they've only just started walking 15 minutes on their own to a friend's house before heading off to school together. They have to text me when they arrive at their friends. They are very sensible but I still worry.

My year 8 does similar occasionally at the weekends to what you describe - go between shops, park, football field etc. All about 45-55 minute walk away from home. They are maybe out between 12 and 4/5. I don't think I'd want them out until 6 and that's at the weekend, not a school night. I'm not concerned about my child or their friends as they are lovely, sensible kids. I'm worried about other people and them getting into trouble that way. If they want to see their friends in the evening or for extended periods of time I'd much rather they did it at our house where I know they are safe .

Maybe I'm overprotective but at least they are safe.

Ynbu. Mine were often out until 6pm at that age but in the very local park (3 mins away) they didn't have phones until secondary school so would have to pop home and ask if they wanted to go elsewhere. I wouldn't be happy with them walking somewhere 45 mins away!

I would feel the same as you OP.

I think the parent saying that was entirely out of order and I’d be a bit pissed off about it.

Yeah good point! Maybe OP should text them asking why they don't give a shit about their own kids?