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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find what’s happened to Michael Mosley quite anxiety provoking

966 replies

Glasto73lover · 10/06/2024 18:14

It’s that idea of never really knowing what’s going to happen- the idea that we walk such a fine line in life. If you think too much about it, you probably wouldn’t leave the house.!

A close family member died suddenly and tragically a decade ago - literally dropped dead at home age 48 - something went pop in their head. So you genuinely don’t know when your time is up.

It’s that idea of a chain of consequence that can go so horribly wrong too- people always say ‘oh but you could get hit by a bus’ - stuff like this actually makes me really anxious. So many what ifs.

For Michael Moseley - a chain of probably inconsequential decisions may have led to his death- not having a phone on him, choosing to undertake a walk that in the U.K. is nothing but in that heat, was devastating and probably caused his death.

It makes me anxious that I won’t know if I am making those decisions - am I making sense? I think as I have got older, I have become more anxious and risk averse (thanks menopause) and as a result, you could end up not leaving the house. How do you choose a sensible approach? Not too much risk but some!

But I also want to live my life too!! I guess I find incidents like this quite difficult!

I guess always having a phone, not undertaking walks in intense heat in an unfamiliar place etc are the common sense points that will come out of this tragedy.

Aibu to find it anxiety provoking tho?!

OP posts:
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CassandraWebb · 10/06/2024 19:25

YellowHairband · 10/06/2024 18:58

I agree. People make ill-judged decisions all the time. It's just chance that his ended tragically whereas the ill-judged decisions of other people didn't.

I think people like to think "I'd never be that stupid" because it gives the impression of control, like it could never happen to them. But I'm sure he never thought he'd make a fatal decision either.

Agreed.

It's so easy to criticise but we all probably make terrible decisions from time to time and are lucky to get away with them

LiterallyOnFire · 10/06/2024 19:25

moonshinepoursthroughmywindow · 10/06/2024 18:40

To be fair we don't yet know exactly what happened to him. If he had a heart attack, he could have been dead instantly and having a phone would make no difference.

Incidents like this are rare. I don't think it's worth worrying about something similar happening to you or anyone close to you. You can take sensible precautions, like not exercising hard when you know it's too hot for you, but it's not worth spending time worrying about hypothetical situations because situations like this are both rare and random.

I think the point is that he could have used the phone to navigate and/or to have called much earlier for assistance when he realised he was lost and overheating.

The emergency began to develop long before he collapsed.

JanglingJack · 10/06/2024 19:24

CassandraWebb · 10/06/2024 19:23

Oh gosh that must be a tough way to lose your dad. I'm sorry

Don't be, he was an arse hole.

Thank you though.

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 10/06/2024 19:23

wombat15 · 10/06/2024 19:16

Most people who live in very hot countries don't go for walks in the midday sun. I don't think holding an umbrella over your head while you walk does much to keep you cool either. A wide rimmed hat would provide shade and at least with a hat your hands are free. He probably would have been fine if he was young but he was 67 and probably had cardiovascular disease.

Just to repeat, for the hard of thinking. Had he taken either of the direct routes he'd have made it, despite the heat and whatever he was carrying or not carrying. His judgement was sound in that respect.

CassandraWebb · 10/06/2024 19:23

JanglingJack · 10/06/2024 19:16

I don't think my Dad meant to die by falling from a cliff when I was a teenager. But there was always the knowledge that he'd die young and in stupid circumstances.

I have the right to be angry over that, but I simply can't be arsed.

So Dr Moseley, may you be resting peacefully, and may your closest loved ones find some peace. Goodnight.

Oh gosh that must be a tough way to lose your dad. I'm sorry

CassandraWebb · 10/06/2024 19:21

Glasto73lover · 10/06/2024 19:13

I think because my relative died suddenly & unexpectedly quite young, it’s given me even more anxiety around it.

I can understand that. I lost several friends in tragic accidents (unrelated) in my early twenties. And it left me feeling that real desperate sense of not trusting I would live from one day to the next. And news stories of tragedies would compound that feeling.

It took me years of processing to gain a more balanced perspective, where I could recognise the importance of not taking longevity for granted and of always ensuring my loved ones know they are loved, whilst also feeling able to start to plan for the future rather than living a somewhat hedonistic existence

SecretSquirreling · 10/06/2024 19:20

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MavisPennies · 10/06/2024 19:19

Look mate, you're gonna die. Question is, do you want to live first?
You can't waste your life away worrying about shit like this.

Sunshineandpinkclouds · 10/06/2024 19:17

I think because it has been a high profile media sorry about someone we "know" it makes it worse.

When I rationalise my shock to this I realise people have accidents on mountains all the time - get lost, slip when running or taking selfies. Some die, some get rescued - we just don't mostly hear about it. Also people die from accidents at home and again we don't get a drip feed about it from the media. Life is risky but anxiety shouldn't stop you live your life to the fullest.

trussedchicken · 10/06/2024 19:17

I've found it very thought provoking too. Had exactly the same thought....he said goodbye to his wife on the beach to walk home and that fateful decision has changed everything for them forever. I've found it extremely sad, too. I've watched/listened to lots of things he's produced over the years and I've always thought what a lovely, clever man he is. I also signed up to his diet plan a month ago and it's been a revelation. RIP Dr Mosley.

Poppysmom22 · 10/06/2024 19:16

Any thing can happen to anyone at any time you just have to not focus on it too much and get on otherwise you’ll be alive but you won’t be living.

wombat15 · 10/06/2024 19:16

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 10/06/2024 19:07

He probably thought it wasn’t too far and he could walk it easily - and in the UK he probably could - but not in 40 degree heat.

In your own words, he was right, he would have made the 1.5 miles. He had a hat and umbrella for shade, water, he cooled off in the sea before setting off. I understand there's a good proportion of Brits who can't function when it gets over 25 degrees but not everyone is like that.

He got lost. We don't know what point he realised he'd forgotten his phone. These things can happen to anyone, I hope those of you posting your awful shit on here don't have the temerity to die of something preventable.

Most people who live in very hot countries don't go for walks in the midday sun. I don't think holding an umbrella over your head while you walk does much to keep you cool either. A wide rimmed hat would provide shade and at least with a hat your hands are free. He probably would have been fine if he was young but he was 67 and probably had cardiovascular disease.

JanglingJack · 10/06/2024 19:16

I don't think my Dad meant to die by falling from a cliff when I was a teenager. But there was always the knowledge that he'd die young and in stupid circumstances.

I have the right to be angry over that, but I simply can't be arsed.

So Dr Moseley, may you be resting peacefully, and may your closest loved ones find some peace. Goodnight.

ChaoticCrumble · 10/06/2024 19:15

We all make bad decisions sometimes.

There was a long-running thread on a crime forum a while back about a young family who'd gone for a hike in the US only to be found dead near the end of their route. People speculated that they must've been poisoned or set upon or lost. But no, it was 'just' heat exhaustion, not enough water taken with them, and a poorly chosen route given they had a dog and a baby with them. They'd done many walks before - but on this day it was over 40 degrees and there would've been little shade on the way back up through the rocks. Our brains can only take so much heat, regardless of how far we think we can walk. One bad decision is all it takes. :(

Hiddentory · 10/06/2024 19:14

I don't worry about the fragility of life for myself. Of course I want to live as long as I am able to enjoy life, and see my grandchildren grow up, but if death came suddenly tomorrow, I would not know about it. MM spoke before of wanting a sudden death and in that respect he is quite lucky.

I think the worst part of this is the impact it has on the people left behind. I lay awake last night unable to sleep imagining how MM's poor wife and children must be feeling. In fact, I know how the children are feeling as I lost a parent in a similar sudden manner.

I also couldn't sleep for feeling a bit cross with MM. How can a man make a career out of teaching us how to live well, yet himself do something so dangerous as to result in his own death? I don't mean to bash him, and as a 60 something myself who would have sooner joined him on his walk than sit with his wife on the beach, I find all the suggestions that he was too old to be hiking laughable, but the bottom line is, it was too hot for exercise and he really should have known that. So I suppose what I am saying is, life needn't be as fragile as the circumstances of MM's death suggests. With the greatest of respect to the man, he did take a risk.

Glasto73lover · 10/06/2024 19:13

ABirdsEyeView · 10/06/2024 19:12

I also find it very frightening how mundane decisions (like not charging your phone in time and therefore not having it with you, when you decide to go for a walk) can potentially be the difference between living or not.

Menopause has massively increased my anxiety levels (which I was always prone to). HRT has helped a lot, but I try not to dwell on how precarious life can be - it would drive me insane if I thought about it too much.

Someone said to me that it's rarely the things you worry about that actually happen. Mostly you get blindsided by something you could never have seen coming, and therefore could never have controlled or prevented, on a random Tuesday. That frightens me tbh - all you can do is try not to think too much!

I think because my relative died suddenly & unexpectedly quite young, it’s given me even more anxiety around it.

OP posts:
ABirdsEyeView · 10/06/2024 19:12

I also find it very frightening how mundane decisions (like not charging your phone in time and therefore not having it with you, when you decide to go for a walk) can potentially be the difference between living or not.

Menopause has massively increased my anxiety levels (which I was always prone to). HRT has helped a lot, but I try not to dwell on how precarious life can be - it would drive me insane if I thought about it too much.

Someone said to me that it's rarely the things you worry about that actually happen. Mostly you get blindsided by something you could never have seen coming, and therefore could never have controlled or prevented, on a random Tuesday. That frightens me tbh - all you can do is try not to think too much!

JanglingJack · 10/06/2024 19:10

Gettingbysomehow · 10/06/2024 18:23

I feel absolutely furious with him. Quite unreasonably as I don't know him. Why did a medical doctor think it was OK to go for a long walk in 40 degree heat at the height of the day with one very small bottle of water and no phone????
He wasn't young either. He was 67.
Sheer stupidity.
Now his wife is on her own for her whole retirement. He won't see his kids marry or have children.
Older single women as I know very well often get abandoned by their married friends after the husband has gone. It takes time but in couple of years she will be lonely.
The utter stupidity of the whole thing made me feel sick and depressed.

It's one of those things. Death, destiny, we never know when or how we will die.

Maybe this was meant to be, of how he would die.
A wonderful man with the knowledge to know better (in our humble opinions) succumbed to the end of his life by one wrong turn. Maybe his destiny was to leave a reminding legacy.

My love and thoughts are with his wife and children.

EmpressSoleil · 10/06/2024 19:09

I do think there is an element of, the fitter and healthier you are the more you think something bad could never happen to you.

I would never have walked even 5 minutes in 40 degree heat because my health isn't fantastic and the heat really affects me. I suppose I am more risk averse because I don't want to make my life any worse!

I had a very fit and healthy uncle who in his early 60s was riding his bicycle at a high speed, crashed, hit his head on a rock and nearly died.

But I see the attitude on MN all the time. Any thread about age and people are saying things like "I'm in my 60s and fitter than most 30yr olds". It's delusional quite honestly. But nothing you can do. People make their own choices.

weareallcats · 10/06/2024 19:08

Anonym00se · 10/06/2024 18:50

My DH is the same. He’s 60 and loves going out running when we’re on holiday. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Because he’s really fit and eats a clean diet, he completely ignores the fact that he’s bloody 60. He genuinely believes he has the same body as a 30 year old. It wouldn’t surprise me if MM also had the same ridiculous invincible attitude. Beetroot juice will only take you so far, but it can’t reverse the aging process!

Edited

My dad also thought very much like this and used to sneer a bit at my mum, whose lifestyle was (somewhat) more indulgent. He died of a very aggressive form of cancer in his 60’s. I had a bit of an existential crisis at the time and fell into a period of ‘what’s the point’ hedonism/nihilism. This situation with Michael Moseley has reminded me a bit of my dad, although it does sound like he was a much nicer person (no sneering!).

sixtyandsomething · 10/06/2024 19:08

DaisyChain505 · 10/06/2024 18:29

I’m sorry to sound cold but this incident was a case of you play silly games and you win silly prizes.

Going for a walk in an unknown place in extreme heat without the correct resources or enough water and without a phone!

do we know that is why he died though?

rewilded · 10/06/2024 19:08

HasToStop · 10/06/2024 18:51

No. In 150 years, everyone on the planet right now will will be dead.

Edited

Not likely with AI.

Bignanna · 10/06/2024 19:07

I get what you mean and I often think like you, but we mustn’t be frightened to live our lives. All we can do is take sensible precautions and hope for the best

derxa · 10/06/2024 19:07

Marinade · 10/06/2024 19:02

I am sure he would. He was very good at leveraging lots of things to commercialise them to his benefit: the intermittent fasting he was so good at promoting was developed by an oncologist called Professor Tony Howells who got minimal credit from Michael Mosley. I am not a fan and I cannot get worked up about this, he made some deeply flawed decisions and these were all within his gift to manage and control had he applied even a basic level of common sense. There is nothing worthy about leaving your phone at home to soak up the authentic Greek island you are visiting if it means you are not contactable to disasterous effects.

Totally agree

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 10/06/2024 19:07

He probably thought it wasn’t too far and he could walk it easily - and in the UK he probably could - but not in 40 degree heat.

In your own words, he was right, he would have made the 1.5 miles. He had a hat and umbrella for shade, water, he cooled off in the sea before setting off. I understand there's a good proportion of Brits who can't function when it gets over 25 degrees but not everyone is like that.

He got lost. We don't know what point he realised he'd forgotten his phone. These things can happen to anyone, I hope those of you posting your awful shit on here don't have the temerity to die of something preventable.

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