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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find what’s happened to Michael Mosley quite anxiety provoking

966 replies

Glasto73lover · 10/06/2024 18:14

It’s that idea of never really knowing what’s going to happen- the idea that we walk such a fine line in life. If you think too much about it, you probably wouldn’t leave the house.!

A close family member died suddenly and tragically a decade ago - literally dropped dead at home age 48 - something went pop in their head. So you genuinely don’t know when your time is up.

It’s that idea of a chain of consequence that can go so horribly wrong too- people always say ‘oh but you could get hit by a bus’ - stuff like this actually makes me really anxious. So many what ifs.

For Michael Moseley - a chain of probably inconsequential decisions may have led to his death- not having a phone on him, choosing to undertake a walk that in the U.K. is nothing but in that heat, was devastating and probably caused his death.

It makes me anxious that I won’t know if I am making those decisions - am I making sense? I think as I have got older, I have become more anxious and risk averse (thanks menopause) and as a result, you could end up not leaving the house. How do you choose a sensible approach? Not too much risk but some!

But I also want to live my life too!! I guess I find incidents like this quite difficult!

I guess always having a phone, not undertaking walks in intense heat in an unfamiliar place etc are the common sense points that will come out of this tragedy.

Aibu to find it anxiety provoking tho?!

OP posts:
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ducktapez · 11/06/2024 16:20

@milveycrohn we do not know if he intended to set out on a long hike or not. We've no idea of his intentions. He may have thought about doing a loop of that peninsula and ending up in Symi where he was staying or maybe he was aiming for the beach bar he almost made it to. I doubt very much it was an accidental wrong turn from the outset and he was aiming direct to Symi from Pedi - if so he'd have soon realised it was the wrong direction.

SallyWD · 11/06/2024 16:17

@CaptainClover
"The terrible sad part is that he was so very nearly at the bar when he collapsed, literally a few meters and within shouting distance of people."

I agree this is terribly sad but the fact is he was seriously ill by the time he reached that area. The CCTV showed him in a very confused state for about 30 minutes in that area. Look how quickly he died. It's very unlikely that a waiter would have been able to save his life and he wouldn't have reached a hospital in time.

I do feel sad that he died alone. If he had someone with him, they could have comforted him.

godmum56 · 11/06/2024 16:16

wombat15 · 11/06/2024 15:44

Yes, I'm sure thanks.🙄 The disease I suffer from has not been associated with a poor diet but that doesn't stop people giving me advice on it which can be very irritating. I think people underestimate just how much is down to genetics, age and just bad luck. It makes them feel better to think they have control.

yup its the same as I commented earlier about incurable cancer. People assuage their own fears by thinking (and saying) eat healthier, fight, use this or that fake cure...because they don't want to think that in the same circumstances there would be nothing they can do.

ducktapez · 11/06/2024 16:16

@Thisoldheartofmine You're right we shouldnt assume anything as fact, but lets be honest the combination of extreme heat and ascending/descending treacherous terrain and the exhausting effects of all this is most likely to have been the deciding factor.

Strugglingtodomybest · 11/06/2024 16:16

Jaxhog · 11/06/2024 13:39

I agree. Rather a life filled with some risk, than one of boredom. And I speak as someone who went to South America and Antarctica on my own (first time alone) at the age of 69. I was terrified, but so glad I did it!

I would love to go to Antarctica! How did you do it? A cruise?

milveycrohn · 11/06/2024 16:14

Re MM.
He did not set out on a long hike... he took a wrong turn, which made it into a longer walk than expected. Reports say he had felt unwell before he set off, so obviously he was wrong to do so at all. Some say he would gave been safe if he had reached the cafe but not necessarily so, especially as he had already walked past a cafe. There is some confusion between being dehydrated and heat exhaustion. More fluids may not have made a difference, unless he had poured it over his head..
We all make mistakes in life, but for most of us these do not result in tragedy. Sometimes I think it is just luck I have survived so far..

To answer the OP, as I have got older I have found myself getting more anxious over things I would previously have taken in my stride. My adult DC have commented on it as well.
So maybe it's an age related thing.

Goldenbear · 11/06/2024 16:13

MyQuaintDog · 11/06/2024 16:12

We are not talking about fitness, but about susceptibility to heat stroke. A fat 45 year old is less susceptible to heat stroke than a fit 67 year old. Your autonomic system deteriorates as you age.

😬cross posted again about this - sorry

Goldenbear · 11/06/2024 16:13

Strawberriesaregoingoff · 11/06/2024 16:08

But if they're really fit then they are really fit! An obese 45 year old is going to be less fit than a fit 67 year old I'd wager

But it doesn’t change the nervous system deterioration that the 45 will have in their favour.

MyQuaintDog · 11/06/2024 16:12

We are not talking about fitness, but about susceptibility to heat stroke. A fat 45 year old is less susceptible to heat stroke than a fit 67 year old. Your autonomic system deteriorates as you age.

Thisoldheartofmine · 11/06/2024 16:12

A relative, fit , slim, long distance walker had a sudden cardiac arrest when on a walk. It's when the heart stops and you drop to the ground. Very often fatal. Caused by problem in the electrical signal to your heart.
And not by heat ,exertion or dehydration. Or anything within my relatives control.
None of us know the cause of MM's death so we should not be assuming it could have been the result of his decision to walk as he did.

Strawberriesaregoingoff · 11/06/2024 16:08

MyQuaintDog · 11/06/2024 12:47

Loads and loads of fit people on MN think sixties is still very young and that your body has not really aged. They think all that matters is fitness. It is a very common belief. That does not make someone stupid. Their body is still fit and strong, they can still go for runs or go hoking so they think everything is as it was.

But if they're really fit then they are really fit! An obese 45 year old is going to be less fit than a fit 67 year old I'd wager

CaptainClover · 11/06/2024 15:49

It doesn't make me anxious but it does give me cause to think about how easily a normal day can go very badly wrong.

Reading everything that's been said about MM's walk that day, it very much sounds like he took the path to the ancient marina on purpose, presumably he wanted to walk up there and maybe catch the boat taxi back. He wasn't heading straight home.

I'm guessing during the walk away from Pedi to the marina bar area, which was only 1.4km and maybe 30 mins of not terrible terrain, he either took a wrong turn or possibly actually decided to go higher, to see the view perhaps?

What should have been a half hour walk became a lot longer, once up higher he may have really started to feel the effects of the heat/dehydration and has tried to come back down as quickly as he safely could.

The terrible sad part is that he was so very nearly at the bar when he collapsed,
literally a few meters and within shouting distance of people.

If anything it's made me think that you should never underestimate heat and I will never forget that.

ducktapez · 11/06/2024 15:46

I'm guilty of spending too much time looking at the route MM took on this journey and have come across some info posted by a trekker several years ago, link below. Relevant in this thread as it loosely links to risk, in the sense of being prepared for a journey you're undertaking. It shows photos of parts of the route and also says how the first kilometre from Pedi beach is paved. Perhaps this lulls you into a false sense of security if you have no idea of what to expect? But the photos show how rough the terrain is up there, and is consistent with the mayor calling it a "treacherous" route.

https://www.google.com/maps/reviews/@36.6248224,27.8723082,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m6!14m5!1m4!2m3!1sChZDSUhNMG9nS0VJQ0FnSURBcDVhMVVBEAE!2m1!1s0x0:0xfbd07999152e0eaf?hl=en-US&entry=ttu

wombat15 · 11/06/2024 15:44

Booklover85 · 11/06/2024 15:37

Are you sure you’re on a healthy diet? I think many people believe they are but in reality aren’t. I certainly was in that category. This being said, agree that even someone on the healthiest of diets can get sick. The risk is much lower though.

Yes, I'm sure thanks.🙄 The disease I suffer from has not been associated with a poor diet but that doesn't stop people giving me advice on it which can be very irritating. I think people underestimate just how much is down to genetics, age and just bad luck. It makes them feel better to think they have control.

time4anothername · 11/06/2024 15:39

Hazelville · 11/06/2024 15:26

Excessive heat can cause death through increased risk of heart attacks and strokes. It was excessively hot that day.

and intense exercise in excessive heat can kill through a kind of poisoning caused by the break down of our own muscles. If you survive it you can end up disabled due to kidney damage. Many people will perhaps get a bit more life through the shock of the loss of his life, I like to think he would be glad he stoked these discussions and that his family can take some comfort in knowing that his death will make a difference to others' lives. I had to learn more about "rhabdo" as have become very susceptible to heat stroke Once the ambient temperature is above our body temperature the danger really ramps up.

https://thesimplehiker.com/hiking-rhabdomyolysis-causes-symptoms-complications/

Booklover85 · 11/06/2024 15:37

wombat15 · 10/06/2024 19:02

As someone who has suffered a lot of illness despite a healthy diet, I always felt he was quite deluded and about how much you can control your health with diet and found him quite preachy. I don't think fasting is good for health anyway. A very large proportion of ill health is mostly down to genetics, getting older and random bad luck.

Are you sure you’re on a healthy diet? I think many people believe they are but in reality aren’t. I certainly was in that category. This being said, agree that even someone on the healthiest of diets can get sick. The risk is much lower though.

willWillSmithsmith · 11/06/2024 15:30

Trickedbyadoughnut · 11/06/2024 15:18

I agree with PP who said that the laying of blame is not helpful.

My DH is a mountain guide and he has studied a lot about accidents in moutaineering in order to improve safety. Lots of tragic outcomes in climbing result not from huge bad decisions but an accumulation of poor but not catastrophic in themselves decisions. It is almost impossible to say after the fact, but it is believed that much of this can be attributed to oxygen deprivation and low-level altitude sickness. That is to say, a physiological cause.

The reason I say this, is that there all kinds of physiological reasons that can lead to poor decision-making - heatstroke, TIA, acute stress, depression, dementia etc. We have no true idea of exactly what happened, although we do know that he had mentioned feeling unwell, so may already have been experiencing the onset of illness.

We may not know truly what happened for months, or ever.

Years ago I stupidly walked to the next town of a very hot country (instead of getting the bus) via a rocky path (not on my own, I thankfully had a companion). The route just got longer and longer, and higher and higher. Every time you thought round the corner you’d be there it was just more rocky terrain. I ended up not being able to breathe because of the heat. Thankfully my companion had a brown paper bag I was able to breathe into while following their instructions on how to calm down as I was hyperventilating. The heat obviously affected me far worse than it did them. It still gives me the shivers just thinking about it thirty years later. I always stick to main paths and routes nowadays and I avoid being out very hot weather, I literally can’t breathe in hot air.

Hazelville · 11/06/2024 15:26

Thegreatgiginthesky · 11/06/2024 09:13

I agree, it may have been due to a heart attack or other medical event and we simply don't know at this point whether he may have had the same outcome whilst sitting on the sofa watching TV or remaining with his family at dinner.

I think there is some comfort on the fact that he died whilst doing something he enjoyed and it was relatively quick, he did not have long painful time dealing with the complications of diabetes like his father which may have been the outcome if he had been a less active and health conscious individual.

Excessive heat can cause death through increased risk of heart attacks and strokes. It was excessively hot that day.

time4anothername · 11/06/2024 15:22

whatnnoww · 11/06/2024 15:11

The two young widows I know both have fab close families and good friends . They are both lovely and so were their husbands both lost to cancer . The lost friends envisaged by the poster weren’t real friends in the first place .

In his episode with Professor Andrew Steptoe, Head of Behavioural Science and Health at University College London, who leads the English Longitudinal Study of Ageing (ELSA), they really emphasised social connection and how couples relying on each other for company can be very lonely post bereavement so I am sure they were always keeping in mind to keep good people and real friends in their lives.

Trickedbyadoughnut · 11/06/2024 15:18

I agree with PP who said that the laying of blame is not helpful.

My DH is a mountain guide and he has studied a lot about accidents in moutaineering in order to improve safety. Lots of tragic outcomes in climbing result not from huge bad decisions but an accumulation of poor but not catastrophic in themselves decisions. It is almost impossible to say after the fact, but it is believed that much of this can be attributed to oxygen deprivation and low-level altitude sickness. That is to say, a physiological cause.

The reason I say this, is that there all kinds of physiological reasons that can lead to poor decision-making - heatstroke, TIA, acute stress, depression, dementia etc. We have no true idea of exactly what happened, although we do know that he had mentioned feeling unwell, so may already have been experiencing the onset of illness.

We may not know truly what happened for months, or ever.

Lovemusic82 · 11/06/2024 15:17

I walk most days alone, away from pubic paths. It’s not something that really bothers me and wouldn’t stop me from doing things. Life is too short to be too worried to go out waking alone (or anything else you want to do). I had a cancer scare this year and it’s made me even more determined to live my life to the full. None of us know when our time will come, anyone can drop dead at any time but is it really worth worrying about?

Goldenbear · 11/06/2024 15:15

ducktapez · 11/06/2024 15:11

If we strip the whole holiday right back, you could even say its risky to go to an island like that. Accessible only by boat, no hospitals on the island. Can't say those sorts of places ever appealed to me. I read elsewhere that any pregnant women living there are told to temporarily stay in neighbouring developed island (Rhodes?) from month 8, as it's too risky to stay in Symi with the lack of medical care.

It looks beautiful but after my heat wave experience in Spain last year and my daughter’s asthma being made worse by the dust from the landscape, I have really lost my desire to go to many places in the Mediterranean in the summer when the school holidays are. My DH hasn’t but also I feel guilty about overtourism, I heard on the radio this morning about one Islands lack of water for the residents when all the tourists arrive.

Peonies12 · 11/06/2024 15:12

YABU - most common causes are death are due to excess weight, lack of exercise, poor diet, excess alcohol, smoking etc. all of which everyone can do something about.

whatnnoww · 11/06/2024 15:11

Hb7x3 · 11/06/2024 12:41

It takes time but in couple of years she will be lonely.

Or she won't be 🤷‍♀️ I hate this type of pessimistic outlook. She may be surrounded by good friends who don't fuck off, or shock horror, she may find a new partner.

Edited

The two young widows I know both have fab close families and good friends . They are both lovely and so were their husbands both lost to cancer . The lost friends envisaged by the poster weren’t real friends in the first place .

ducktapez · 11/06/2024 15:11

Waitingfordoggo · 11/06/2024 15:02

It sounds like the only possible help could have been to arrive at the beach bar earlier, but even then who knows if the damage was already done

Quite. And given there is no hospital on the island, the time needed for a transfer to Rhodes may well have taken too long and not changed the outcome.

If we strip the whole holiday right back, you could even say its risky to go to an island like that. Accessible only by boat, no hospitals on the island. Can't say those sorts of places ever appealed to me. I read elsewhere that any pregnant women living there are told to temporarily stay in neighbouring developed island (Rhodes?) from month 8, as it's too risky to stay in Symi with the lack of medical care.