To think bullies and evil people never change even when they grow up?

Children aren't evil, even if they're doing bad things because they're too young to know better or to know how to do better. Of course they can change. Who's the same at 35 as they were at 13?

Which is in no way to minimise his victims' suffering (s I said, my son was among them), but I don't think this child is 'evil', no. I think he's been (probably permanently) warped by his parenting.

Ok, not every conflict between children is bullying, and tables can easily be turned when group friendship dynamics change. Sometimes it's enough to sit them down and explain that this sort of behavior will not be tolerated and the bare minimum expected of them is to act civil.
But yes, the kid you described sounds pretty evil and seems its genetic. Risk is that he will run into even a bigger bully eventually and it will not be pretty.

There are some people who genuinely change for good or evil, some who fake it, some still have issues, some are serial killers

There is no blanket answer for every single person on the planet

I've never suggested otherwise. This child I referred to above knows what he's doing, yes, in the sense that he's copying it from his primary role model, who is an aggressive, manipulative, unpleasant woman with (as far as I can judge) MH issues, who gets attention via physical aggression and raising her voice when she can't get it by other means. Her son is desperate for attention, and doesn't get it via the usual means (in a friendly class where boys are in the minority and are always thrilled when a new boy joins the class -- a recently-arrived Ukrainian boy who started with minimal English has joined the group very happily, for instance), he gets it, very successfully, by cruelty, using his size and strength, and manipulation, while his mother shows up (or did, before she was banned from school premises) to complain to the principal about her son being 'excluded' from the boys' group when they, very sensibly, are keeping their distance from someone they don't want to be around.

Which is in no way to minimise his victims' suffering (s I said, my son was among them), but I don't think this child is 'evil', no. I think he's been (probably permanently) warped by his parenting.

I think adults are just better at hiding their mean behaviour and talk about people behind their backs instead of to their face. Teenagers know right from wrong. They know when they're bullying someone. Stop infantilising people in their early 20s.

Some people are not very nice and don’t ever change. In my experience these people can behave appallingly and they don’t care for the consequences. I’ve had to deal with such people who are in their late 40s. I can only hope karma catches up with them one day.

I think about what Michelle Obama says - when they go low, you always go high. I find that a comforting thought when I am dealing with people who lie with abandon and behave appallingly with seemingly no consequences.

not in my experience, they do not change

One of my bullies even tried to befriend me when an adult, I told her to fuck off

One other bully, ex boyfriend has held on to a grudge for over 20 years against me and then did something despicable to me, he did not change

I believe 99% are people who bully were in emotional pain, possibly abused emotionally, mentally, physically or were witness to similar behaviour.

Oh, that old chestnut. "The bully is the primary victim here," In my experience, nastiest bullies are spoiled, entitled, and know they can get away with shit, so they will target the defenseless. They can come from the nicest families, but as soon as they sense parents not watching, then hell breaks loose.

This says more about you than about other people. No one is asking you to sympathise with your own bullies, but why are you so insistent that they’re inherently ‘evil’? Teenagers bully for all kinds of reasons. There’s a bully in my 12 year old’s class, and my son was, at one point, bullied by him before I intervened with the school. It’s not hard to see where his life is going to go from here, and it’s likely he’ll be in a young offenders’ centre by his later teens. This won’t be because he’s ‘evil’, though, it will be because he’s been appallingly parented (father overseas, macho ‘boys don’t cry’ ex-military type, mother banned from school property for her harassment of teachers and other parents, and known to SS).

I believe 99% are people who bully were in emotional pain, possibly abused emotionally, mentally, physically or were witness to similar behaviour. I am referring to children here. Where a lot of the time they don't have the chance not to behave that way.

Teens I think it can be the above or their own internal rollercoaster of self hatred, self imposed isolation. Usually they are very unhappy people.

There is I imagine in that 99%cohort also those who enjoy the power, the attention and control element.

I do believe there is the last 1% that are born that way and possibly due to a misfiring of neurons are what you refer to as evil. I don't believe in evil per se but I do know there are some very sick people out there.

Said before but I think you can change your behaviour though sometimes that can take a lot of work and you might even need some professional help. Your personality is what it is and you have to learn to live with it.

I won't say they NEVER change but what I will say is I haven't yet met one who did.

"Once a wrong'un always a wrong'un" is my view.

Hard agree. Usually if a kid is being horrible it will be connected to their home life, and the example they have been given. You see this in the children, do they shout, do they swear, are they cruel to each other or happy to fight? It is the home life or home culture that will drive that. Parents don’t need to be aggressive themselves, they can be weak on self discipline and you get similar results.

… but actually you are being rather judgmental and unforgiving.

You are saying that because you were [good qualities] back then, and they were [bad qualities] that your moral superiority still exists. Fundamentally, you know nothing about those people as adults, and have no interest whatsoever in them, other than using them to opine on their awfulness to make yourself feel better.

I’m not saying bullying is OK- it isn’t. And I’m not saying you have to forgive them- you don’t. But their character flaws, don’t give you a free pass on your’s.
(and of course, this applies to me too)

My older sister was just pure evil. She'd bully so much at school. She'd go after the weakest kids. She bullied me so much, too. Now she sits on ttik tok, making videos about mental health, and it's just comical. She still is horrible and will never change. No idea why she's like this though, we had a good life. I cut her off quite a few years ago but my oldest speaks to her cousins and that's how I know about the tik tok videos.

I found out my school bully died about 5 years ago. Whilst I wasn’t dancing around joyfully (she was only mid-thirties), let’s just say that I wasn’t sad.

A leopard never changes its spots and she was just as nasty in adulthood as in secondary school.

I have no idea if he had ‘changed’ personality wise (he recognised me and was charming but who knows) but outwardly at least he seemed to be an entirely different person from the boy I knew at school.

Psychopaths can indeed become successful in business, politics or science. But the charity for vulnerable kids - i wonder if he isn't a pedophile.

The worst bully at my school was a boy I genuinely thought was a psychopath. I would have described him as evil. Teachers openly opined that he was going to end up in prison. He was from a large family with a fearsome reputation and his dad and a couple of brothers were already behind bars.

Years later when I was working for a large tech company I attended a meeting with one of our prospective customers. The name of the CEO rang a bell and when I walked into the meeting room I recognised the school bully instantly. He had become an extremely successful businessman and I saw on his LinkedIn profile that he did a huge amount for charity and mentored at risk kids. I have no idea if he had ‘changed’ personality wise (he recognised me and was charming but who knows) but outwardly at least he seemed to be an entirely different person from the boy I knew at school.

This could perhaps depend on what a person defines as bullying. Some very well respected individuals locally have been very less than respectful to another person.

Its a massive difference between someone being unfriendly or rude vs someone who specifically targeted to hurt and harm another. Do those people change? Depends if they have any remorse

Of course people can change, but not all will.

Someone who hurts people and enjoys seeing people hurt is unlikely to change.

Someone who lashes out and hurts others as they are hurt themselves, yes they can change.

Catty bullying queen bees who live putting others down? Seen plenty of them relive their teenage drama by bullying parents on the school run and actively encouraging their children to do likewise. They’ll never change. They don’t have the maturity.

People can change, but some were arseholes as kids and remain arseholes for life.

It's strange how we view out time at school, I recently met someone married to a girl I was at school with, her name meant little, but on talking to the women I'm still in touch with they all remember her as being a right cow who glided through school putting everyone down and being the bullies right hand woman. He told me she hated school and couldn't wait to leave. Speaking to people who know her now, she hasn't changed.

Sorry but I disagree about people excusing bad behaviour because the brain hasn't developed. If you are being a shit at 14, you know you're being a shit.

Most times bullies are jealous of the person they are picking on, that they are confident enough to be different (or appear so), that they are liked and have friends (hence the attempts to exclude from friendship groups). That they are good looking, intelligent, funny, talented in some way that the bully wants to be. Me I was likeable, funny, intelligent and confident to stand out. The bullies tried but nothing could be half as cruel or as cutting as my mates said to me and to each other. The physical side wasn't much as I was bigger than most and it got around who I hung around with out of school.

I think it's different for those that go along with bullying out of fear of it happening to them or to fit in, I can see how they'd just stop that behaviour when they no longer felt it necessary.

The ones doing it out of cruelty don't change, they just adapt their behaviour.